Positive Behavior Supports

Managing Disrespectful & Rude Behaviors in the Classroom

March 3, 2020 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Strategies for managing disrespectful, rude, and other challenging behaviors in the classroom. This post is targeted to teachers and principals who need support with challenging behaviors in elementary, middle, and high school. #pathway2success #behaviormanagement

Let’s talk about disrespectful behaviors in the classroom. The child who talks back. The student using their cell phone, even after being told to put it away. The kid who refuses to do their work, and even loudly tells you, “no!” when you try to politely give some encouragement. The student who jokes about your class being dumb, causing an eruption of laughter in the room.

As educators, we’ve all encountered some (or probably all) of these situations from time to time. Here are some strategies to help you manage these challenging behaviors and get back to what you do best – teaching your students.

Change your mindset. First, the most effective strategy is actually a mindset shift. Kids aren’t being rude to be rude or disrespectful. Kids and young adults are coping with challenging feelings the very best way they know how to in the moment. Let’s think about it: Wouldn’t it actually be easier for a student to follow the rules and just fly under the radar? In most cases, it would. So, it’s important to remember that disrespectful, rude, or challenging behaviors are not really directed at you. They are just a way to communicate needs.

Challenging behaviors are the way a child is communicating. Use these strategies, tools, and ideas to help support kids and teens in school. #pathway2success

Have empathy. Remember that we don’t know what goes on in the lives of our learners. Take a trauma-informed approach. Rather than blaming and accusing the student for their behavior, take a step back and consider that they are struggling in some way. Even if we don’t know the reasons for the struggles, it’s helpful to have empathy always.

Be consistent with expectations. Kids and teens need boundaries. Spend time teaching, discussing, and practicing the expectations. Adults can be fun and still have rules. The key, though, is that kids need to know and truly understand them. Prior to group work, talk about what the expectations for being a good ground member are. Act them out and highlight them while kids are working. Before independent work, model what a good independent worker looks like. Give reasons and explanations for these expectations. It’s also important to note that this isn’t just something for the beginning of the year. Reviewing expectations should be a year-round and continuous process. All kids benefit from a refresh and some kids truly need it.

Train yourself to not take offense. This takes real work. Remember, though, that these are kids and young adults. They are still learning and growing. It’s critical to stress that these behaviors are not often meant to be directed at you. Also, think about it: Are you really offended that a 10-year-old made fun of your hair? Do you actually feel upset that a teen said your class was stupid? When we phrase these “rude” situations like this, it seems even a little silly to take offense, really. With that said, there are times when kids and young adults can use their words as weapons. When this happens, it’s important to view those behaviors as needs and skill deficits. Train yourself to not take offense so that you can stay calm and collected.

Consider skill deficits. When a student says something mean or rude, consider how it could be the result of a lack of social skills. For example, if a student keeps blurting out in class, are they really purposefully being rude or are they struggling with self-regulation? If a child tells you that your shirt is ugly, are they trying to be mean or do they lack a strong social filter? While not all “rude” behavior fits into this category, it’s worth taking the time to consider first.

Focus on the relationship. Continually focusing on the relationship with your students demonstrating rude behaviors is extremely important – for you and for them. First, so often, a child or young adult with challenging behaviors needs connection. Spend time talking about non-school related topics, find out their interests, hear about family, and listen to their favorite music. No relationship-building topic is too small. There needs to be connection before there can be correction. There really is no other way. Use this free printable relationship-building questions list or read up on more strategies for building relationships with your learners.

Relationships are a key element to supporting kids with behavioral challenges in the classroom. Help kids and teens while improving the entire atmosphere of the classroom. #pathway2success

Ignore what you can ignore. Sometimes, kids and young adults act out as a way to express their feelings. Of course, they aren’t going about it the right way, but in the moment is not the right time to address it. Other times, kids might be acting out for attention. In both cases, ignoring what you can ignore is often the best action in the moment. Walk away or pretend you didn’t see that eye roll. If you have to address some behaviors in the moment, say, “We’ll talk about it later.” This gives the adult the opportunity to let others know they are handling it, but also reduces any chance for power struggles along the way.

Be prepared for behavioral episodes. Using the word “ADAPT,” you can remember to act calm, de-escalate, acknowledge feelings, problem-solve, and think reflectively.

Avoid the impulse to punish. Now, I’m all for logical consequences. Punishments, though, are a whole different ball game. Sometimes, when a kid or young adult acts out, our first impulse is to punish them by giving them a detention or assigning extra homework. Almost all of the time, these on-the-fly punishments will do more damage to the relationship than they will help the problem. Problem-solving over punishing will always win.

Keep them in the room. As long as students are in your room, they can keep learning. This is especially important for those kids who refuse to do their work. Even if the student is not starting the classwork, leave them be. They will get much more out of the class conversations and discussions than they would in the office or in a desk outside your room. There are exceptions to this, of course, including when students are disruptive to the learning to others or if there are any acts of violence. It’s safe to say that those are times when additional support outside of the classroom is necessary. When possible, though, keep them in the room.

Use de-escalation strategies. Strategies to defuse a bad situation are worth their weight in gold to an educator. I strongly feel these strategies should be emphasized, discussed, and practiced during educator training every single year. Grab this free list of de-escalation strategies to print as a reminder and read up on more de-escalation strategies.

Use de-escalation strategies to reduce behavioral challenges in the classroom. Grab your free copy and learn how to manage challenges behaviors in this blog post. #pathway2success

Consider the why. There is always a reason behind the behavior. If a student is acting out when they have to do math problems at the board, maybe they are really embarrassed to do work in front of others. If a learner disrespects you when you ask for the homework, maybe they didn’t understand it and they don’t want to look dumb. Don’t focus on the what. Focus on the why. These will lead you into the right direction of problem-solving, rather than blaming.

Be self-reflective. Take some time to reflect on the situations that led up to the problem situations in your classroom. Of course, this isn’t a blame game. Being self-reflective means just considering what went wrong and what could have gone better. Could you have asked a question in a different way? Did you put the student in a situation that was maybe extremely uncomfortable for them? Was the classroom too noisy, causing the child some distress? Be open-minded and ask yourself some questions to figure out what you could do better next time.

Strategies for managing challenging behaviors in the classroom: Be reflective! Think about what might have gone wrong and how you can fix it in the future. #pathway2success

Meet privately with the student. Not punitively, meet with the student and talk with them. Rather than blaming them personally, highlight that you noticed there was a problem and you want to help solve it. For example, you might say, “Jane, I noticed there was a problem when you were working in a group yesterday. What’s going on with that?”

Listen. As educators, sometimes we have the habit of talking more than we listen. In this case, rather than talking at the student, give them time to speak. Sometimes, you will be amazed at what you learn. Maybe that student didn’t realize they were calling out. Maybe the student felt disrespected by something you said first. Regardless of what you think about their behavior, give kids a chance to speak. They deserve that. It can become the foundation for repairing relationships and moving on.

Brainstorm solutions. After listening to a student, brainstorm some strategies that might solve the issues together. Again, stay open-minded about suggestions from the student. Offer some of your own ideas as well. Actually brainstorming solutions goes a long way. The best solutions are almost always developed together.

Make a plan together. After brainstorming, set up a specific plan of action with your student. Come up with at least one thing the student can do and one thing you can do to do better next time. For example, if a student was acting out when in a difficult group setting, perhaps they can come up with a list of group ground rules, and you can agree to ask their input about their groups in the future. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to show that you care and you both are working in the right direction.

Make time for social and emotional supports. All kids and young adults deserve a supportive check-in with an adult. This can be done during morning meeting advisory, homeroom, or even study halls. Talk to kids about how their feeling and what’s going on in their world. You can even t each SEL skills with this morning meeting set for the year that I developed. While this intervention won’t fix disruptive or challenging behaviors in the moment, it is a proactive approach that will help learners throughout the year, even halting problems before they start.

Use morning meeting time to practice social emotional skills and reduce behavioral challenges in the classroom. Learn more strategies about challenging behaviors and social emotional needs in this blog post. #pathway2success

Teach the skills. If a student is lacking some social skills, teach them. If they need to work on managing their emotions, teach emotional management and coping strategies. If they need to work on self-control, discuss and practice strategies for self-regulation. While not all educators have time for this set up in their schedules, there are many ways you can integrate social skills into your instruction. Another option is talking with support staff about setting up a small lunch group to teach the skills kids need explicitly.

Focus on your own self-care. Working with challenging behaviors can be stressful. Schedule time for yourself to unwind and relax. Whether you take time reading at home, head to the gym, or schedule time with friends, find what works for you. Use this printable self-care poster for educators to remind you throughout the week.

Challenging behaviors can be stressful to deal with! Use strategies to focus on your own self-care. #sel #pathway2success

Throughout these strategies, there is a solid theme. Educators can learn to ADAPT. This is a acronym I created to stand for: Act calm, De-escalate, Acknowledge feelings, Problem-solve, and Think reflectively. These are the essential elements of handling challenging behaviors in the classroom, including behaviors we see as disrespectful and rude. If you are a subscriber, head over to the free resource library to grab your very own ADAPT poster as a reminder. If you aren’t a subscriber yet but are curious, head over here to learn more and join.

Have you been successfully managing disrespectful or rude behaviors in the classroom? Feel free to share what is working for you!

Mindfulness Journal Ideas You Can Try Today

January 20, 2020 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Mindfulness journal activities for kids and teens to help feel calm, focused, and happy. Mindful activities teach self-control, emotional management, growth mindset, self-love, and so much more. Use this as a daily morning practice or in your calm down area. Perfect for home or school. This post has printable and ideas you can use right away! #mindfulness #pathway2success

Mindfulness is a critical self-regulation strategy that can help kids and young adults feel calm and focused. Pairing mindfulness with journal writing just makes sense. Journal writing is personal and allows learners to connect with themselves. Additionally, it’s something kids can stop and do every day.

Mindfulness is an ideal practice in the morning to help kids and teens start their day off in a positive place. Practicing mindfulness can also be helpful before a big test, after a break, or when kids need strategies for self-regulation. Read up more on the 10 best times to practice mindfulness in the classroom.

There are several simple strategies to help learners practice mindfulness with journal writing. While you can read on and try any of the activities right away on your own, I also understand that it’s easy to be busy and struggle with fitting them all in. If you are needing all these and more no-prep ideas, I have put together an entire yearlong mindfulness journal that you can use right away.

Here are three simple strategies you can use right away with your learners to help them practice mindfulness:

MINDFUL FOCUS

What it is: Mindful focus is an activity where learners mindfully focus on one object for a period of time.

How to try it: Have kids choose one object in the room. Encourage them to hyperfocus on the object. Look at it and think about it for a few minutes. What does it look like? What colors does it have? Is it bumpy or smooth? How does it move? What is it used for? What makes it special? After the mindful focus activity, have students write about their object and sketch a picture.

Why it works: By focusing all of your attention on something, you are focusing only on the present moment. This can be a healthy strategy to help kids ground themselves in times of stress.

GUIDED VISUALIZATION

What it is: A guided visualization is an activity that involves picturing a calming scene, such as a beach or quiet meadow.

How to try it: Use a picture or describe a calming scene. It can be anything from a peaceful walk in the park to a calming waterfall in a forest. Have learners picture themselves in the scene. Then, allow them to write about what they see, feel, hear, smell, and taste.

Why it works: By picturing a peaceful scene, kids and young adults can clear their minds and regain a sense of calm. Visualization can be a healthy tool to use when feeling angry, sad, worried, or overwhelmed.

EMOTION CHECK-IN

What it is: An emotions check-in is a free write about how someone is feeling and thinking in the moment.

How to try it: Encourage kids to just close their eyes and think about how they feel. Consider every sensation in your body and thought that pops into your mind. Rather than judging those feelings, let them be. Notice them and recognize them. Then, have learners write about how they are feeling and thinking. As a simple alternative, you can have learners give colors to their emotions as they draw.

Why it works: Checking in with ourselves is an important strategy for improved self-awareness and mindfulness. By thinking about how we are feeling and thinking, we can make better choices about what we need in the moment.

SHAPE BREATHING

What it is: Students will draw a shape on their journal page and trace it as they breathe in and out.

How to try it: Have students draw a shape on their journal page. It can be any shape, such as a shape or a triangle. Students can even draw lines that wave up and down. Then, have students trace the lines of the shape with their finger or pencil as they breathe in and out. Afterward, students can write about the activity and describe how it made them feel. Use these free printable mindfulness breathe boards to get started.

Why it works: By focusing all of their attention on something as they breathe in and out, learners are practicing mindfulness while practicing deep breathing. This can be a helpful strategy to teach because it can be done almost anywhere.

MINDFUL COLORING

What it is: Students will color a coloring page on their own.

How to try it: Explain to students that they will be practicing mindfulness by coloring. Discuss that they will be coloring, breathing, and just letting thoughts pass through their minds. Note that you can play soothing music while students color to support a calming atmosphere. Need a head start? Use these free printable mindfulness coloring pages!

Why it works: Coloring is an active way to calm the mind. Additionally, this strategy can help learners practice just doing something in a mindful way without focusing on what is “right” or “wrong.” This is particularly beneficial for learners with perfectionistic behaviors. It is a perfect way to practice just coloring and being in the moment.

Just a reminder that you don’t need to be an expert to start a mindful practice in the classroom! Just use any of these ideas to give mindfulness a try! You might also want to read up on 5 free mindfulness activities or just grab the yearlong mindfulness journal to get started right away!

Strategies for Oppositional Kids

October 1, 2019 by pathway2success 6 Comments

The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

Working with kids and young adults who are oppositional can be challenging. Being oppositional might mean refusing to do work, breaking rules, and engaging in other challenging behaviors. The truth is, many kids can be oppositional from time to time, so many of these strategies work with all learners. With that said, these strategies are truly aimed at learners who are more significantly oppositional and defiant. These are the students who demonstrate challenging behaviors on a regular basis, purposefully do the opposite of what is told, engage in arguments, and might even show aggression.

Whether or not your student is diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, it can be helpful to understand the disorder. Many of the strategies and techniques can be helpful for all kids who are displaying defiant or disruptive behaviors on a regular basis. If you think a child or young adult might have oppositional defiant disorder, it is important to talk it over with a professional in your area.

Simply put, kids and young adults who demonstrate oppositional behaviors are often in need of significant interventions and supports, not punishments. The list below highlights several strategies for before, during, and after challenging behaviors.

Oppositional kids need support! The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

PROACTIVE STRATEGIES

Build a relationship. Spend time getting to know your student. Look far beyond their challenges and see who they are as an individual. Find ways to build a positive relationship over time.
Start fresh every day. This one is important. Treat every day as a new start. Not only does this help educators move past yesterday’s challenges, but it also teaches the student that it is okay to have a bad day sometimes. Make this one your mantra.

Consider underlying needs. So often, oppositional behaviors are the result of underlying emotional challenges and needs. Take time to consider if a learner is struggling with feelings of anger, anxiety, or anything else. When it comes to challenging behavior, there is always a reason why, even if sometimes we don’t see it right away.
Explicitly discuss expectations. Teach about social expectations using simple words and visuals. Note that just discussing them once isn’t enough. They need to be openly talked about on a regular basis.
Explain your why. When you have a rule or expectation, explain the why behind it. For example, if you want student to turn their work into a specific bin, explain that this is so you don’t end up misplacing their work. It might seem silly, but sometimes just a valid reason is enough to help a student understand and follow along.
Watch your tone. Tone of voice can mean a lot to kids, and especially to kids with oppositional defiant disorder. Notice the way that you say things. “Please take out your homework for today,” is much nicer and calmer than, “Take out your homework right now.” Sometimes, it’s the small things that make a big difference.
Explicitly discuss consequences. Before challenging behaviors happen, make sure to openly discuss what the consequences will be. Together, come up with a list of what some consequences might be in your setting and discuss why they might happen.
Make sure consequences make sense. Logical consequences are always more beneficial than punishments. In the simplest terms, logical consequence are consequences that make sense and aim to repair the problem, rather than simply punish. For example, if a student makes a mess, the consequence might be to clean up. If a student says something mean to someone else, maybe they should do a kind deed or write a letter.
Give choices often. Rather than giving one direction or instruction, give a choice between two or three things. Choice can make a BIG difference! For example, if you want your student to spend time reading, ask them, “Would you rather pick out a novel, read a magazine, or listen to an audiobook?” As an educator, you are still making sure your student is working towards their goals, but you are also giving the student a say in how they get there.

Develop small goals together. Spend time 1:1 with your student and come up with small and manageable SMART goals that the child can work on. It’s important to make the goals short-term and attainable so that they can reach them and feel successful. Keep in mind that sometimes kids with oppositional challenges don’t see that success often. Getting a taste of it can really change their life. Use that momentum to keep pushing the student forward in the right direction.
Be consistent. Kids and young adults thrive on consistency. Make an effort to have the same routines, expectations, and consequences each day. This makes it much easier for learners to understand and follow along with the expectations you set.
Teach strategies for mindfulness. Many kids and young adults don’t know how to put the brakes on when they are upset. Practice mindfulness once or twice a week together to encourage students to develop these skills over time. It is not a skill that develops right away, so lots of practice is necessary. One big positive is that practicing mindfulness in the right way can be fun for kids and young adults.

Mindfulness activities are a great strategy! The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

Develop routines. The more routines you have for students, the easier it is for everyone. Develop routines for starting group work, turning in homework, writing homework down, lining up, and switching from one subject to another. The more concrete and consistent these routines are, the less behavioral challenges will come up along the way.
Get all adults on the same page. Consistency from adult to adult is critical. If a student is allowed to run in the hall with one adult but not the other, this can be confusing and even frustrating for the learner. Talk with other professionals, including paraeducators and parents, to try and set similar expectations for the student.
Practice deep breathing techniques. Teaching kids and young adults to control their breathing can help give them tools to calm down in the moment. It’s important that we teach these strategies ahead of time, so kids can use them when they really need them. Use these free mindful breathing boards to give mindful breathing a try.

Identify triggers. It’s critical to spend time to think about our students’ emotional triggers. Knowing that group work, doing work in front of the class, or independent work are triggers can help you structure your class in a way to minimize those challenges. Sometimes, it takes structured observations to figure out the triggers. If you struggle with this, consider having another staff member take time to observe the student and notice what situations immediately precede the behaviors.
Develop a calm down area. Not all kids will need a calm down area, but the ones who need it, really need it. A calm down area is just a special spot for students to go and regulate themselves when they are angry or upset. It is a helpful strategy to keep kids in the room, have them practice coping strategies, and get them back to learning quicker.

Give genuine praise. When a learner is doing something positive, privately let them know. Remember to be specific and genuine in your approach. You might say, “I noticed you worked really hard through that test even though it was a little bit frustrating. That was awesome of you and it showed you’re really doing your best. Thank you.”
Provide breaks. Kids with social-emotional needs can’t be at their best all of the time. They need down time. Schedule structured breaks and activities to give some down-time in their day.
Teach coping strategies. So often, kids don’t know how to calm down on their own. They need to be explicitly taught skills that can help them feel calm, safe, and regulated. Most importantly, kids need to learn and practice these skills when they are calm (not when they are upset). That means spending time actually practicing listening to music, writing in a journal, and coloring. Teaching coping strategies is not a waste of time; it’s a life skill. Learn about unique ways to teach coping strategies or grab this free list of coping strategies to get your students started.

Stay organized. Keeping the classroom and schedule organized will keep your learners organized, too. A lack of organization can frequently be a trigger for oppositional kids who need extra structure in their lives.
Give special responsibilities. Help your most oppositional learning develop a greater connection to the school and classroom by allowing them to give back in some way. Assign the student to water the plants each morning, pass papers back, or be in charge of technology. Try to align the classroom responsibilities with their interests, if possible.
Teach social skills. Simply put, if kids aren’t behaving in a socially appropriate way, we need to teach and re-teach those social skills until they can. To support this need, I have developed social skills lessons for elementary kids and social skills lessons for middle and high school students.

Use student interests. One effective way to keep learners engaged is using their personal interests in lessons and activities. Choose read alouds with trains or bikes, if that is what your student loves. Use math problems about dogs, if that is a particular interest.
Avoid power struggles. A power struggle with a student is always a losing battle. Your best defense is using techniques to avoid power struggles in the first place.
Let the little things go. If a student wants to use a pink gel pen to complete their work, let them! If a learner wants to work standing up, why not? Ask yourself if the behavior is interfering with their learning or not. If it isn’t, try to let the little things go!

Learn ways to calm yourself. Dealing with a student’s challenging behaviors can be difficult in the moment, especially if those outbursts are directed specifically at you. Find ways to calm yourself down, such as deep breathing or positive self-talk). The calmer you can be, the better it will be for all your learners.
Integrate strategies for social emotional learning. Kids and young adult who are oppositional often need supports with social and emotional skills. Learn how to you can integrate social emotional learning or start with these free strategies for SEL.

Brainstorm with other professionals. When you are looking for new strategies and solutions, it’s often helpful to talk with other specialists in your school who know the child. Brainstorm with the school counselor, social worker, psychologist, and any other professionals who work with him or her. Brainstorming with a paraeducator who works with the student can also often be very helpful.
Consider incentives and rewards. While intrinsic rewards are always better, it’s true that sometimes kids and young adults need some extra encouragement along the way. Use this free list of rewards and incentives to get ideas to help motivate your learners.

Talk with the child’s counselor. If possible, get permission from guardians to talk with the child’s outside counselor. It can help to try and work on some of the same strategies together.
Focus on your own self-care. Working with a student who is oppositional can be extremely stressful for the adults involved. Remember to focus on your own self-care so that you can be the best you for all of your learners. Grab this free educator self-care poster as a reminder.

IN THE MOMENT STRATEGIES

Stay calm. Kids and young adults feed off others’ energy. Make it your mantra to stay calm. Sometimes this might mean acting like you are calm, even when you are not! Having a calm attitude is essential to helping kids and young adults feel safe and protected. Not only does a calm demeanor help students regain calm themselves, but it also models appropriate behaviors for them at the same time.
Be clear and concise with expectations. Give specific and simple directions as to what the student is expected to do. It’s important to watch your tone of voice and say these expectations in a non-emotional way. If a student is refusing to start their work, calmly tell them, “Please complete up to number 10. Thank you.”
Give space. When kids are upset, the last thing they need is an adult talking at them and telling them what to do over and over. So often, they already know but need time to get there. Talking to them can sometimes just create more of an argument. Tell them what you need to tell them, but then walk away. Give them space to get themselves started.

Use de-escalation strategies. De-escalation strategies are the techniques you can use to help calm a situation (or learner) in the moment. Read up on different de-escalation strategies you can use or grab this free de-escalation strategies printable as a reminder.

Avoid taking materials away. While this is a critical de-escalation strategy, I think it’s important enough to mention separately. If a child or young adult is using their phone when they shouldn’t be, never take it out of their hands. If they hand it over to you, that’s one thing. It is never advisable to forcefully take something from a child or young adult, though. This just creates a power struggle and will only incite more anger from the child or young adult. Give the instruction, walk away, or ignore, but never take something physically from a learner.
Use planned ignoring. Behaviors can happen for many different reasons. When the function is to gain attention, planned ignoring goes a long way. Planned ignoring is when you purposefully ignore problematic behaviors in order to stop and extinguish them. For example, if a student is making silly noises to get your attention during independent work time, try ignoring and pretending you don’t hear. The idea is simple: if the purpose is to gain attention, don’t give them attention. It’s important to note that planned ignoring can be difficult. Sometimes, behaviors even get worse before they get better. However, if adults are consistent in ignoring the behaviors, it can be an extremely useful strategy.
Help the child regulate their emotions. When a student is upset, it’s always most important to help them get back on track. Give the student time to regulate their emotions by going to a calm down area, spending a few minutes to themselves, or getting a drink at the water fountain.

Don’t take it personally. This is easier said than done, but it’s important to remind yourself not to take behaviors personally. Kids and young adults with behavioral challenges are struggling. They are acting out in the best way they know how to get the support they need in the moment. Take a deep breath and walk away when you need to.

POST-PROBLEM STRATEGIES

Make sure the child is calm. Before reflecting on an issue, it is critical that the child or young adult is calm first. If a learner is still upset, give them extra time to calm down and chill out before moving forward. Remember that the ultimate goal is helping that student learn from their ups and downs. That is only meaningful when they are truly calm and ready to learn.

Give time for reflection and problem-solving. While challenging behaviors are happening is not the time to learn. Kid and young adults are emotionally overwhelmed at this stage, meaning no learning is taking place. However, after a child is calm is the perfect time to reflect and problem-solve for the future. This is when the new learning is happening. Spend time talking with the student. Be inquisitive about what happened and not accusatory. For example, you might say, “I noticed you had a problem today with ____________. What happened?” and “What could we do moving forward?” Spend some time brainstorming ideas, strategies, and solutions.
Be creative. It is critical to stay open-minded during the problem-solving phase. If a child or young adult gives you an idea, consider it. Not everything will work, and that’s okay. It’s important to allow the child or young adult to be part of the problem-solving process, though. For example, if a student says they think they would do better working while listening to music, consider it. Try it. It’s okay to consider strategies even just a trial. Even if it doesn’t work out, it helps give responsibility to the learner themselves. It also shows that you are fair and willing to try things to help them be successful.
Make a plan together. Sometimes, it’s helpful to write out a specific plan with strategies moving forward. When you do this, it’s important to list strategies that the student will do and strategies that the adults will do. While you don’t always need to write out a plan, having these strategies listed and documented helps in a couple of ways. First, it holds all parties responsible for the strategies. Second, it documents that you are trying new strategies. This can be important in the future, so that if it works, you can continue (and if it doesn’t, you can just try something else!). If necessary, you might also consider developing an entire behavior intervention plan.

Give strategies time to work. Not every strategy is going to work perfectly right away. Give them a few times and days before determining if they are effective or not.
Help makeup for mistakes. Teaching kids and young adults how to make up for their mistakes is important. It’s also important that they don’t feel they are thrown into this alone. Help them through it. For example, if a student said something mean to someone else, help them write an apology note to their friend. If a student made a mess in another teacher’s classroom, help them find a time to go in and tidy or clean the room to give back. Not only will this help fix the damage, but it teaches a critical life skill.
Apologize when you mess up. Sometimes, in the moment, we all make mistakes. After some reflection time, if you think you’ve made a mistake, own up to it and privately apologize to the student. This often goes a long way with kids who are oppositional. A genuine apology can help mend relationships and help the student see that the world can sometimes be a fair place.

Forgive and move on. Remember that every day is a fresh start. Once an incident is over, do your best to forgive the student and move on. Kids (even big kids) are still kids who are learning and growing.
Don’t give up. No matter what, never give up on your learners. Even the kids who are oppositional and challenging need all of your support, encouragement, and love. Tell them you won’t give up with your words and show them with your unconditional support.

50+ FREE Rewards & Incentives for Kids

June 2, 2019 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Rewards and incentives can be a critical component to classroom management success. They are also the perfect tool to help learners to go outside their comfort zones and learn new skills. Simply put, providing rewards and incentives encourage positive behaviors. Sometimes rewards are seen in a negative light when they are compared to bribes. This just isn’t the case! In real life, we all work for incentives and reward ourselves from time to time. After working on report card comments for a few hours, you might reward yourself with some downtime reading or watching television. You might also save a little extra money each month in order to go on a special vacation or trip, your incentive. These are adult real-life examples just to illustrate that rewards and incentives can be positive and encouraging. It is important to be mindful about how and when rewards and incentives are given, but they are a powerful tool!

When should I provide incentives? Incentives and rewards are extremely versatile. You might give a random whole-class reward when you are out sick and get a stellar report from the sub that day. This will highlight and reward the positive behaviors of the class as a whole, encouraging the same behaviors for the next time. You might also set up individual rewards with a student who is struggling with a specific behavior, such as completing homework or raising their hand in class. You could make a contract with that student and set up some rewards they will earn when they achieve their daily or weekly goal.

Why do I need a reward list? It’s important to always keep things fresh, fun, and interesting for kids. Sometimes the same old rewards and incentives can get stale or boring for students. That doesn’t mean you won’t be able to use them again in the future – you definitely can! It just means it’s often helpful to change things up. To help, I put together a list of over 50 reward ideas for kids. You can grab this free printable reward list and keep it in your teacher binder for reference when you need new ideas!

Reward Ideas for Kids:

Drawing time
Choose your seat
Teacher helper
Craft time
Reading time
Extra music time
Extra recess or gym time
Extra art time
Line leader
Half homework pass
No homework pass
10-minute break pass
10-minute talk with a friend pass
Choose your partner or group
First to share
Lunch with teacher
Lunch with a friend
Bonus points on test/quiz
Extra computer time
Sit in special seat
Borrow principal’s chair for the day
Choose the music
Positive phone call together
Visit another teacher
Positive principal visit
Listen to music while working
Positive note home
Show and tell with class
Choose the read aloud
Swap seats for a day
Tell jokes to the class
Choose from prize bin
Special snack
Pretend it’s your birthday
Work in the hallway
Write with special pen all day
Read the morning announcements
Get a mystery gift
Have teacher attend after school event
Pick out new game for class
Pick out new classroom materials
Choose a classroom job
Assign classroom jobs
Wear a hat for the day
Borrow a game for the weekend
Help design and put up bulletin board
Earn a certificate
Library pass
Help in the office
Help the custodians
Help in the library
Work anywhere in room
Help teach a lesson
Feed class pet
Read to younger students
Lesson of their choice
Read to the class
“Student of the Day”
Allow student to create a club
Invite parent for the day
Help make the quiz/test
Book fair certificate
Free answer coupon
Take a walk pass
Royalty for the day
Best seats at assembly

If you love this list, make sure to grab your free copy with reward ideas for elementary kids, older kids, and even whole-class rewards. What rewards would you add to the list?

15+ Benefits of Social Emotional Learning in the Classroom

January 15, 2019 by pathway2success 1 Comment

Social emotional learning isn’t just a fancy buzzword in education. It’s an approach that integrates critical life skills into the school curriculum to help learners reach their individual potentials. There are huge benefits to teaching social-emotional skills and incorporating them into what educators are already doing.

The research indicates that implementing a social-emotional approach in schools can make a real difference. A meta-analysis of research indicated that students involved in SEL programs made gains socially, emotionally, behaviorally, and academically (Durlak et al., 2011). While more research is needed, one thing is clear: Teaching social and emotional skills pays off.

If you want to teach social emotional learning in your classroom but aren’t sure how, I have created an entire yearlong SEL curriculum. It is composed of five core units, each with several lessons and activities to teach the skills kids and young adults need. There are a number of significant benefits to integrating SEL into the classroom. It’s very much worth the time and effort. Kids do best when they know how, so let’s teach them the skills to get there.

Here are just a few benefits to social emotional learning in the classroom:

Improves school and class climate. Kids and young adults need to feel safe, respected, and supported in order to do their best. Incorporating SEL into your classroom encourages all of those things and more, helping to create a more positive learning community for all.

Increases student motivation. Kids and young adults want to do better when kids feel good about themselves, their teachers, and school. Integrating skills for social emotional learning can help encourage learners to be themselves, feel more accepted, work towards goals, be willing to take risks, and just love learning. More motivation is always a good thing.

Teaches problem-solving skills. Learners need strong problem-solving skills in all areas of life. A huge benefit to social emotional learning is that much of it focuses on managing situations and problems in everyday life. If you get stuck on a math problem, what can you do? If you get in a fight with a friend, how might you handle it? If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, what could you say? All of these questions are discussions that might be taking place when SEL is integrated into the classroom.

Reduces behavior problems. So often, behavior problems are the result of skill deficits. In the words of Ross Greene, kids do well when they can. Once we teach skills for problem-solving, working with others, and managing emotions, we are likely to see student behavior improve.

Helps students set and meet goals. A big part of self-management is creating specific and measurable goals for the future. Goal setting is important in all areas of life, whether someone is making a goal to improve their math grade or identifying steps to get their dream job.

Gives a space to talk about mental health. Mental health is extremely important and often not talked about enough. Talking about social emotional learning gives kids and young adults the venue to talk about their feelings, thoughts, and needs. It should be healthy to talk about mental health.

Teaches study skills and habits. Time management, organization, and planning are important skills that need to be developed over time. It’s easy to assume that all learners have these skills automatically, but it’s often not the case. Best of all, these are skills that can be easily taught in harmony with academic curriculum, whether it is math, reading, music, science, or anything else.

Encourages empathy. Empathy is one of the most foundational social skills, and sometimes it is overlooked. Quite often, kids and young adults need to be explicitly taught how to think about the feelings and thoughts of others. Once they can do this, students are much more effective at maintaining relationships, resolving conflicts with peers, and showing kindness to others.

Teaches teamwork and collaboration. In order to be success now and in the future, kids need to learn how to work well with others. Social emotional learning skills help students learn how to work collaboratively with partners and small groups. That includes working with people who aren’t your friends, problem-solving through disagreements, being a good team player, and more. Of course, these are all skills that are critical to success in the classroom, too.

Improves academic performance. Sometimes educators think of SEL skills as completely separated from academics, but that’s actually not true. A number of social-emotional skills actually encourage and allow students to perform better academically. Just a few of those skills include goal setting, planning, staying organized, managing time, problem-solving, cooperating, working in groups, and much more.

Improves self-regulation skills. Being able to managing our own thoughts, feelings, words, and actions is paramount to social and personal success. SEL can help learners understand self-regulation so they can learn to manage their own behaviors in positive ways.

Teaches responsible decision-making. Without a doubt, decision-making is a critical life skill. Learners need to know how to understand choices, think about consequences, consider how choices impact them and others, and ultimately make a positive choice they are proud of. These skills don’t come easily, though! So often, learners have to make tough decisions without “easy” solutions or answers for them. This is why practice in this area is so important, and can truly pay off in the end.

Teaches disagreeing respectfully. Kids and young adults need to learn how to disagree respectfully as a critical social skill. This is an ability they will use in the classroom when working with peers, with friends outside the school walls, online, and more.

Increases personal self-awareness. It is important for learners to have a strong understanding of their own individual strengths and challenges. Self-awareness is having a clear and accurate view of oneself. When students understand themselves, they are better equipped to have a clear vision for the future and make better choices to reach those dreams.

Encourages perseverance and resilience. While these skills are similar, they are different enough to highlight and discuss. Perseverance is the ability to push through challenges, while resilience is being able to get back up after a failure or defeat. Both skills are critical for student success in and outside the classroom.

Improves confidence. All kids should feel good about themselves and who they are as individuals. In many ways, helping kids and young adults to feel more confident can help them become the best versions of themselves.

Improves relationship skills. We all want our learners to have better relationship skills. That includes understanding healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, developing skills to be a good friend, maintaining relationships, conflict resolution, repairing relationships, and more. Not only does it benefit the students in your classroom to get along with each other, but these are also life skills for the future.

Improves attendance. Some research has indicated that kids and young adults in SEL programs actually have improved attendance. This just makes sense; If kids feel more positive about school and have the skills to succeed, they are more likely to be prepared to come each day.

Teaches coping skills. All kids and young adults experience emotional distress from time to time. Managing emotions can be tough, especially if learners don’t have the tools to do it effectively. An important component in social emotional learning programs is teaching kids and young adults how to managing those feelings and cope with them in the best ways.

Creates a feeling of community. A positive school community is critical to help all learners succeed. By building relationships and talking about topics that really matter to kids, they are more likely to bond with each other and educators in the room. This creates a strong sense of community, acceptance, and support.

If you want more strategies for integrating social emotional learning in the classroom, check out this list of over 100 free SEL resources and ideas!

How to Support Challenging Kids

November 8, 2015 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Supporting Challenging Kids Not long after the “back to school” craze, students who struggle start to show their challenging behaviors. Behaviors such as being out of their seat, calling out, refusal to work, or arguing can really impact the flow and progress of the classroom. Other more serious behaviors, such as fighting, hitting others, biting, and running will also be significantly detrimental. As teachers, we have a LOT on our plates and can’t do everything all at once. These kids, though, are often calling for help in their own way. We owe it to them to work through the challenges, not only to improve our own classrooms but to help that student improve overall, too.

Here are some steps you can consider to support kids with challenging behaviors in the classroom:

1. Read the child’s file. This might seem obvious but sometimes it is a forgotten first step! This is a great way for teachers to do some initial research on a child, helping you to know what questions to ask the child and the family. Some things to look for within the file include: who the child lives with, if/how often the child has moved or changed schools, what types of behavioral challenges has the child had in the past, and what types of support services the child had in the past. Support services might include intervention supports, special education, or even just testing for special education.

Behavior Intervention Plans and FBAs

2. Talk to the child. Your approach for this will definitely vary depending on the student’s age. However, at any level, you will need to find time to meet with the student in a 1:1 setting and just talk. This should not be a punitive discussion, so I wouldn’t encourage doing this during a consequence or right when the student is caught doing something that would cause him/her to get in trouble. It’s best done in a supportive way. You can ask the child to have lunch with you, have the student stay after for extra help, or find time to meet with him/her during the day in another way. It’s important that the discussion time is one-on-one because many kids don’t open up about their challenges with peers or in bigger groups. This is probably especially true with middle and high school kids, but also for younger kids, too. During this meeting/discussion time, just ask questions to see what is going on with the child. You can start with, “I noticed that you’re having trouble with _____. What do you think is going on with that?” At first, kids will often say they don’t know. You have to keep talking and asking questions in a supportive way. If your student struggles with sitting still or focusing, another strategy is to do the discussion while doing something hands on such as drawing or playing with clay.

Behavior Management Toolkit

3. Talk to the child’s parents/guardians. When you initiate conversation with the child’s parents, it’s best to do it in a supportive way that invites collaboration and communication. The best way to do this is often the “sandwich” approach – something I LIVE by with all of my students! Before mentioning any concerns, mention something positive about the child to the parents. It could be that he/she worked really hard on a test, shared with peers, was a good friend to someone else, or anything at all positive. It just sets the tone for a positive conversation. What you don’t want is to offend or confront the parent and send them into attack mode. Once you mention a positive and start the conversation out right, then you can mention what the child has been struggling with. Pick one major thing to discuss, though, so that you do not overwhelm the parent. You can say something like, “I noticed that ____ is having trouble working with groups or partners. Have you been seeing anything like that at home with ____’s siblings?” Let it pave way for more discussion in a supportive way.

4. Problem-solve WITH the child. After getting feedback from the file, child, and parents, it’s time to make a plan. Meet with the child again and find out what strategies might help him or her. Again, the student might not know (or not know right away), but with further discussion and questioning, together you can come up with a plan. Offer ideas for accommodations on work if that is the problem. For example, if the child is not completing the math homework, would using a calculator make a difference? If the child struggles with group and partner work, would he or she prefer to choose a partner or maybe even work alone? Troubleshooting WITH the child is going to go a long way and make a difference.

5. Offer incentives. Some kids need to see light at the end of the tunnel and an incentive or reward is just that. Consider whether the child needs a daily reward or if he or she can wait for an end of the week reward. This will depend on the individual student. Talk to the student about what he or she would want to work for. Have a reward inventory, or list of possible rewards, written out for the child to choose from. Rather than only considering tangible “prize box” rewards, also offer activities: lunch with the teacher, helping in the office, telling the class a joke or story, extra gym time, and drawing/art time. Not only are these activities often big incentives, but they are a positive way to teach kids to spend their free time, too.

Classroom Coupons

6. Make a contract. Whatever plan you come up with together, put the plan in writing. Write it with the student present and include ideas directly from him or her. That will allow the child to feel invested in the contract/plan, since they are an essential component. List out what goals the child is working on for appropriate behavior, what accommodations the teacher will provide to help, and exactly how the child can earn his/her incentive. Once the plan is set, have the student sign the plan and send a copy home to the parents, too.

7. Ask for support in your building. Go talk to the school social worker, guidance counselor, and/or school psychologist. Reach out to teachers who worked with the student in the past. Ask for what has worked in the past for the student, what hasn’t worked, and what ideas other educators have for you to try and implement. No single person has all the answers, which is why it’s important to reach out for support across your building. Even just asking a colleague to come into your room and observe might be a helpful strategy that will give you insight into what is really going on.

8. Revisit the plan often. A plan for supporting kids with challenging behaviors shouldn’t be set in stone. It will most likely have to change pretty frequently, both to change rewards/incentives and encourage new positive behaviors along the way. Have weekly or bi-weekly meetings with the student to discuss his/her progress and how the plan might need to change for the future.

If you need additional support for behavior management and social skills within your classroom, consider checking out this Social Skills and Behavior Management Mega Bundle. It’s a huge bundle that includes 12 products that help to increase positive behaviors while reducing challenging ones in the classroom. Materials contain social skills lessons, social skill task cards, social scripts and narratives, behavior intervention plans, classroom reward coupons, lessons teaching kindness, and much more.

How to Support Challenging Kids

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