The Pathway 2 Success

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6 Simple Ways to Help Kids Manage Big Emotions

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Being able to manage our own emotions seems like a simple task at first glance, but it’s actually quite complex, especially for growing children and teenagers. It involves understanding your feelings, managing stress, using coping strategies at the appropriate times, problem-solving through challenges, and knowing when to ask for help. This can be a lot for growing children and teens. They don’t always know exactly how to manage those feelings, which is why it is so critical for adults to provide support along the way.

Big Emotions, Big Behaviors

Anger, worry, fear, shame, frustration, embarrassment, confusion, and even excitement. These are just a few big feelings that children and teens might need to cope with on any given day.

One important point to make is that when a child is struggling, we usually don’t see the emotion at first. We see the challenging behaviors. This might include acting in aggressive ways such as yelling, pushing, kicking, biting, or destroying property. Other times this might look like work refusal, avoidance, and doing the opposite of the directions given. We might also see withdrawal or irritability. These are just a few examples, as children and teens can behave in various ways when struggling with emotions. Always keep in mind that emotions are often the driving force behind behaviors.

A child or teen most likely isn’t going to say, “Excuse me, I’m struggling with my feelings right now.” They might act out, though. It just happens to mean the same thing. When we see children and teens acting out in negative ways, this should be a cue that they need some support.

Teach Skills When Calm

All kids and teens are going to struggle with managing emotions from time to time. It’s normal and healthy. With that said, some kids are going to need a bit more support than others. If working with learners who continually struggle in this area, consider teaching some of the skills for managing emotions just as you would skills for learning math or reading. Kids and teens can learn how to understand their emotions, check in with themselves, use coping strategies, practice flexible thinking, using self-control, and appropriately deal with emotions. Remember to teach these skills proactively when kids are calm.

Simple Strategies In the Moment

All educators of kids (big and little) need strategies for helping them manage emotions in the moment. And while I’m a huge advocate for teaching coping strategies and skills to children themselves well ahead of time, these techniques are really designed for adults to use while a child is struggling.

This article also puts an emphasis on simple strategies because in any given fast-paced day, it’s important to have to-the-point techniques in our toolbox that work. What’s most helpful in this list of techniques is that they are truly universal; these are strategies that can be used with children in preschool to high schoolers (and yes, even adults).

There is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to helping kids manage tough emotions, which is why it’s important to have a few ready for when something doesn’t work.

Here are six simple techniques for helping children and teens manage their emotions:

#1 Listen

The most important technique when a child or teen is struggling with emotions is to actively listen to them. This means giving distraction-free attention to a child and really hearing them out. It helps to remain judgement free while a child or teen is expressing their emotions. Try to avoid taking over the conversation. Instead, ask prompting questions that might help them share more information about how they are feeling and what they need. Sometimes, this can take a while, but if you chat long enough, valuable information is almost always given.

Beyond all of that, sometimes someone just need to be heard. A few prompts for starting the conversation might include:

  • “What’s going on?”
  • “I noticed you’re struggling with ______ today. What’s up?”
  • “Talk to me. How are you feeling?”
  • “Let’s chat.”
  • “How would you rate how you’re feeling from 0-10?”

#2 Co-regulate

Co-regulation is the process of actually sitting with kids and teens to calm down together. It’s most helpful if these strategies and techniques have already been practiced ahead of time. This is just because of how the brain works. When kids and teens are overwhelmed, they don’t think as clearly. It’s difficult for them to pick up a new coping skill on the fly. If we want them to use these strategies when they truly are overwhelmed, we need to teach them before.

Even so, sometimes in the moment it can be difficult to embrace the idea of calming strategies. This is why co-regulation can be so powerful. Adults are modeling the skills they want kids and teens to do.

You can start by offering or suggesting a strategy. For example, you might say, “Let’s take a few minutes and color together.” Another idea is to offer a choice between two activities. If neither of those seem to work, just choose a calm down strategy and do it on your own near the child. Quite often, the learner will pick it up and try too.

Here are a few coping strategies that might work best:

These are just a few of many different coping strategies you can try. Use a coping strategies list to read more and give them a try.

#3 Give Space

One of the most under-utilized supports for helping manage emotions is giving space. An overwhelmed child can sometimes become more overwhelmed without the time and space they need to get back on track. Give supports, but it’s also okay to walk away. Some helpful phrases to give some space include:

  • “I’m here when you need me.”
  • “If you want to talk about that later, let me know, and I’ll be here to listen.”
  • “Let’s talk about that later.”
  • “Take a break and I’ll check back in with you in a few minutes, okay?”

#4 Distract

Sometimes children and teens need mental space from the challenges they are coping with. A quick distraction can provide that. Here are some ways to help distract a child or teen in the moment:

  • Have the child help with a task. Keeping busy can help kids and teens reset their minds. The task doesn’t need to be “fun,” but it’s best if it’s not challenging. For example, ask if they can help you put up some bulletin board pieces or if they can deliver a note to another teacher down the hall.
  • Ask about a pet or loved one. The people and pets we love are comforting. You might ask about how a child’s dog is doing to set them on a better frame on mind.
  • Tell a funny story from your own life. Kids and teens loving hearing stories from trusted adults. The story doesn’t need to be connected to how the child is feeling at all. It’s just a quick distraction. Anything to get a laugh is best! I personally loved telling stories about my dog, Nova. Just as an example, the time Nova growled at a snowman was always a favorite.
  • Ask questions about a favorite hobby or activity. We all experience positive emotions when we talk about our favorite activities. Use that to your advantage when helping a child manage emotions by asking about some of those hobbies. If a teen loves hockey, ask how his team has been doing. If a child loves music, talk about their favorite songs or band.
  • Ask a riddle or brainteaser. Consider giving a small brain game to help provide a distraction. Again, this technique will not work for every child, but some kids and teens thrive on puzzles and figuring things out.
  • Play a game. When all else fails, offer to play a game together. While this strategy cannot be done in every setting or in every situation, sometimes it’s important tool to have ready. So often, kids will begin talking and externalizing their emotions during a game. So, sometimes it’s worth a try.

#5 Draw or Write

Not all children and teenagers are capable of verbalizing how they are feeling and what they need. This is where drawing and writing come into play. These different methods give kids a chance to share those emotions in a non-threatening way.

Some strategies to help kids express feelings in this way include:

  • Write a letter about how they are feeling.
  • Draw a picture that shows their emotions.
  • List out all the feelings they feel.
  • Give free journal writing time.
  • Journal or draw to music.

#6 Problem-Solve

When a child or teen is calm, one of the most powerful ways to help them manage emotions is through problem-solving. When problem-solving, it’s important to not solve for kids but with them. It is critical that kids and teens know they have the power to solve their own problems, even if they need help sometimes.

Some ways to problem-solve together include:

  • Come up with a list of possible solutions.
  • Draw a picture of the perfect way to solve the problem.
  • Act out different ways to solve the problem.

Teaching Coping Skills

If you’re ready for the next steps in teaching techniques to students, give some of these coping strategies and calm down resources and activities a try.

3 Simple Mindful Practices to Start the Day

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The morning is an important starting point to the day, especially for kids and teens. It’s easy to think of the morning as a time that can set the stage for success. With a few extra mindful minutes each morning, this can transform into a time that helps children and teenagers regulate their emotions, improve their focus, feel confident, and be prepared to meet their goals.

Here are 3 mindful practice to start the day and how you can try them:

Mindful Breathing

Mindful breathing is the practice of thinking about our breath as we inhale and exhale. Some mindful breathing techniques use movement, rhythm, or visualizations. What all of these techniques have in common is that by focusing on our breath, we gain calm, improve focus, and reduce stress.

Starting the day with mindful breathing also allows an important pause in the morning, giving kids time to clear their minds before moving on with other necessary tasks. What’s more important is that it’s a true practice, meaning that we get better at it the more we do it.

To get started, try introducing mindful breathing and explaining its benefits. Then, practice together. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Bubble Breathing – This is one of my favorite ways to introduce mindful breathing because we can all imagine what it feels like to blow bubbles. To try it, sit or stand comfortably with muscles relaxed. Slowly breathe in and then breathe out like you are blowing bubbles. You can even add some real bubbles to the mix to make this a more memorable experience as you learn, but you won’t need those every time of course.
  • Smell the Flowers – For this exercise, have kids and teens imagine that they have fresh flowers in front of them. Encourage them to close their eyes and visualize the flowers, including what they look like and what they smell like. Then, slowly breathe in to smell the flowers. Hold the breath and slowly breathe out. Continue this a few times.
  • Box Breathing – Also known as square breathing, this technique is something that athletes and even U.S. Navy Seals use to combat stress and anxiety. To try it, first make sure all the air is out of your lungs. Sit upright and slowly inhale to the count of 4, hold for 4, and then exhale for 4. Continue this process a few more times.

The limits are endless when it comes to mindful breathing exercises. Read up on some more engaging mindful breathing techniques to try right away.

Positive Affirmations

The words we say to ourselves are the words we believe about ourselves. Positive self-talk is powerful. There is no better confidence-building strategy to start the morning with than some positive affirmations.

Begin by having kids and teens choose their favorite positive affirmations from a list. Write these down and read them silently or aloud each morning. This is a simple morning routine that helps kids and teens start the morning feeling positive, strong, and ready to meet their goals.

Routine is great, but it’s fun to change up the positive affirmation routine too. There are lots of other ways to integrate positive affirmations, such as writing them on sticky notes as reminders and tossing a beach ball around with positive affirmations written right on them.

Practicing Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is intentionally listing some things in life you are grateful for. By taking time to appreciate what we have, we can feel happier, calmer, and more positive overall.

Things we are grateful for don’t all have to be big things, either. They can be small or simple things, like the feeling of the warm sunshine on our face or the smell of a freshly cooked meal.

Here are some strategies for practicing gratitude:

  • Daily Gratitude Share – Each morning, have kids and teens identify five things they are grateful for. They can write them out or draw them. Then, share them with the group.
  • Gratitude Journal – Keep a gratitude journal for every student. Assign practicing gratitude as the first 5 minutes of the morning.
  • Gratitude Jar – Have each student write something they are grateful for on a slip and add it to the jar. At the end of the day or week, you can review the slips.

There are lots more ways to practice gratitude, but those are a few simple and fun ways to get started. Remember that gratitude is a practice. This means we are more likely to see the effects of it the more we do it.

A Mindful Morning Check-In

If you’re looking to integrate some of these practices into your every day, give this mindful morning activity a try. It’s a free digital and printable activity that helps kids and teens use deep breathing, practice gratitude, say positive self-talk statements, and more.

Spend 5 extra minutes each morning practicing a more mindful routine and you might be amazed at the change you see in your learners. Not only will a little mindfulness help bring calm and focus to your students, but it teaches self-regulation for now and in the future.

Strategies to Build Resilient Kids and Teens

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Strategies to Build Resilient Kids and Teens

Resilience is the social-emotional skill that helps us get back up after something doesn’t quite go our way. This is an importance skill because we all fail sometimes. That’s part of life.

So often, though, for kids and teens especially, failure doesn’t feel okay. It can test our confidence and perseverance. For kids and teens without strong skills for resilience, they might become overly frustrated, act out, and give up when things don’t go their way.

On the other end of the spectrum, those with strong resilience are able to keep themselves calm when things don’t go right, reframe the situation, and see struggles as opportunities for growth. They can bounce back better and stronger when things don’t go right. That’s the goal.

Simply put, we want kids and teens to be resilient to be able to handle setbacks and failures on their own. This isn’t an easy skill to teach because it means that we, as adults, have to watch kids and teens struggle a little. That can be hard. But it’s better to watch kids and teens struggle now and learn those valuable skills for resilience than be unable to handle setbacks later on in life.

Here are 12+ strategies to build resilient kids and teens:

Strategies to Build Resilient Kids and Teens

1. Practice coping strategies when calm.

Coping strategies are an important ingredient in the recipe for resilience. When kids and teens experience failure, it can feel disappointing and even devastating. Being able to cope is critical.

If we want kids and teens to be able to apply coping strategies when they are upset or overwhelmed, we need to practice them when they are calm.

Spend time practicing coping strategies on a regular basis. For ten minutes each day, spend time reading one day and coloring the next. You can even make it a coping strategies challenge to practice 30 different strategies in 30 days.

Strategies to Build Resilient Kids and Teens

2. Let kids do tasks on their own.

Kids and teens aren’t always going to do thing perfectly. That’s okay! Let them do tasks on their own, even if it’s not exactly the way you would do it. This is an important step to remind kids that they can accomplish difficult tasks independently.

When we don’t let kids do tasks on their own, the opposite effect happens. Kids and teens might develop learned helplessness. They begin to believe that they can’t do a good enough job anyway, so it’s not even worth trying in the first place.

Build confidence by letting them do chores, assignments, and projects entirely on their own. There’s nothing wrong with a little help or support along the way, but when they can do it independently, let them.

3. Let kids make mistakes.

Sometimes, when we see kids about to make a mistake, our first impulse is to stop them. This is with good intentions, but sometimes the outcome can be not so good. It’s important to let kids make those mistakes.

We learn greater lessons from the times we mess up than the times we do things right. Mistakes aren’t just okay; they’re necessary. These are learning lessons every time.

Instead of jumping in to help, you might:

  • Ask how the child is doing.
  • Have a child talk you through their plan for managing a problem.
  • Remind them you are there if they need help.
  • Provide encouragement by reminding them they can do it on their own.
  • Brainstorm solutions with them, but let them choose.
Let kids make mistakes

4. Teach and model flexible thinking skills.

A huge part of being resilience is using flexible thinking to our advantage. That’s because there is almost always more than one way to handle a problem or situation. By teaching flexible thinking, we can help kids and teens train their brains to think in more different ways.

Imagine a teen gets a quiz back and they don’t get the grade they were expecting. With rigid thinking, they might first think they are just horrible with that subject. But with flexible thinking, they can learn to stay more open-minded and solution-focused. They might say to themselves, “I didn’t do well. I know I studied, but maybe I studied the wrong material. I guess I should pay more attention to the study guide in the future.”

Flexible thinking does require practice. It doesn’t always come easy! Give these flexible thinking cards a try to practice these skills with real-life scenarios and situations.

Flexibility thinking cards

5. Reframe struggles as opportunities to grow.

Setbacks are often one of our greatest chances to grow and learn. Instead of shying away from struggles, teach kids to lean into them.

Let’s consider an example. Imagine a teen doesn’t get chosen for a sports team that they really wanted to join. They might first think, “I’m horrible. I’m just going to give up this sport.” With a change of thinking, though, they might think, “This just wasn’t my time. I wonder how I can improve. Maybe this is a chance to try another sport.”

This approach is known as embracing a growth mindset. It’s helpful for building resilience, confidence, working towards goals.

Reframe challenges as opportunities

6. Develop SMART goals and work on them.

SMART goals are a tool that help give us direction. These are goals that are specific, measurable, and actionable. So why does this matter when it comes to resilience? SMART goals can be the next step when something doesn’t go right. Instead of dwelling on a failure or mistake, teaching kids and teens to make these goals can help them determine a plan of action moving forward.

In order to make SMART goals:

  • Consider exactly what it is you want to accomplish (be specific).
  • Decide how the goal will be measured.
  • Come up with steps to attain this goals (these should be action-oriented).
  • Explain why this is important to you.
  • Set a timeline and end date. The timeline should include times to review the goal as well.
SMART goals

7. Teach that setbacks are part of life.

Let’s normalize setback, struggles, and failures. These are part of life. We’ve all been through them, but for kids and teens, these situations can feel like the worst experience. We need to teach them that these are normal and healthy to go through.

“Grow through what you go through” is one of my favorite quotes for this.

You can talk about your failures and how you’ve worked through them. Similarly, use characters from movies, books (more on this below), and real life to discuss people who have shown resilience.

normalize setbacks

8. Learn and grow from failures together.

When a child or teenager is upset about a failure, talk it out. Reflection is a powerful too. Discuss what what went well and what didn’t. Consider what they might do differently next time and what lessons are learned. This can be a healthy experience after some time has passed from the setback.

It’s also important to sometimes be okay with not learning anything specific. Sometimes, we just mess up. In these cases, we deal with it and move on, and that’s okay too.

9. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a practice that helps us focus on the right now; this means not focusing on the past “what ifs” and the future “what will happens.” This is an exceptionally important skill when dealing with a setback because it’s a technique that helps center our bodies and minds to the present.

Some strategies to practicing mindfulness include:

mindfulness journal

10. Teach and practice positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk is one of the most powerful tools we can teach. It’s a universal technique that can be used in so many different situations.

Specifically in the context here, positive self-talk is a critical skill for building resilience. It’s the voice that reminds us we can get back up again, even when it feels like we can’t.

Use this free positive self-talk list to help kids and teens develop a positive voice of their own. You can even use positive affirmations as a morning routine to set the tone and provide extra practice.

Positive self-talk

11. Use confidence-building strategies.

When kids and teens feel better about themselves, they are better suited to cope with setbacks. Having stronger confidence can be like a shield. It won’t fix all of the problems, but it can give kids and teens the tools they need to deal with challenges.

With that, making confidence-building activities part of your every day. One of my favorite techniques is having kids make their own compliment list. This can be tough for some kids, which is usually an indicator they need the boost even more than usual. Learn more about other strategies to boost confidence for your learners.

Compliment yourself

12. Encourage self-compassion.

Self-compassion is loving yourself even when you mess up. This helps kids and teens to feel happier, less stress, and more resilient over time. Some ways to cultivate self-compassion include:

  • Doing something kind for yourself.
  • Reminding yourself all the reasons you are wonderful and unique.
  • Practice positive self-talk (“I love myself even when I make mistakes” and “I’m a work in progress, and that’s okay).
  • Do activities you enjoy.
  • Practice mindfulness.

13. Check-in with emotions on a regular basis.

Children and teenagers are better able to cope with the stress of setbacks when they keep emotions in check (that’s true for adults too of course). Teach kids and teens to check-in with emotions on a regular basis. That involves asking yourself how you feel, identifying the specific emotions, and sitting with the feelings before moving forward.

Use this printable and digital 5-step emotions check-in to help kids and teens consider how they feel. It’s something you can incorporate into your every day.

Free 5-step emotions check-in

14. Teach problem-solving skills.

In order to problem-solve effectively after challenges, kids and teens need to know how. Problem-solving skills are one of the most important life skills we use every day.

One of my favorite ways to build on these skills has always been through real-life scenarios. Ask a question and discuss how you might solve it. This can be a fun group activity as well as an important 1:1 intervention.

Use these social scenario problem-solving cards to discuss situations for the classroom, with friends, at home, and more. I also have a free sample set if you want to try them out first.

Use scenarios to build resilience and problem-solving

15. Encourage independent problem-solving.

We all learn problem-solving skills best by actually having to work through problems. Having the guided practice with an adult is great, but it’s also important to let kids and teens problem-solve on their own.

Don’t be so quick to jump in and problem-solve for kids and teens. Being there to help is always a good thing, but it’s most important that they get the practice of working through a challenge on their own.

Problem-solving for resilience.

16. Practice with puzzles, brainteasers, and challenges.

One way to actually practice perseverance and resilience is through puzzles, brainteasers, and challenges. These are intended to be a bit difficult. In some cases, kids and teens might want to give up at first. What’s important is that they work through them or come back to them if they can’t get the puzzle in the moment.

Try a challenge of the day or let kids go at their own pace with some engaging brain games. As a bonus, many of these games boost executive functioning skills at the very same time.

Use brainteasers to build resilience

17. Use literature to discuss resilience.

Literature can be one of the most universal strategies for teaching and discussing resilience. So often, characters deal with struggles. They fail and mess up. They make poor choices. But they also get back up again. That’s resilience.

Use this list of 100+ read alouds for social emotional skills and you’ll be sure to find many that focus on resilience too.

Use literature to build resilience

18. Practice gratitude to gain perspective.

Gratitude is feeling thankful for the things we have in our lives. Reciting these things is the process of practicing gratitude. When we practice gratitude, we feel happier and calmer over time. This can help kids and teens bounce back from setbacks a little easier, remembering all the positive things in their lives.

With all that said, gratitude isn’t a magic solution, but it is a helpful tool.

Use this gratitude activity to spark some inspiration. Kids and teens will think of something they are grateful for using every letter of the alphabet. They can even keep it for times they need to remember what matters to them.

Gratitude activity

19. Teach that perfection isn’t real.

Perfect isn’t real. It’s that simple (or is it?). Unfortunately, in our digital world, kids and teens are exposed to seeing stages pictures and edited photos every day. This sometimes leads them to believe there is a such thing as perfect. Of course, we know that’s not true.

Let’s remind kids and teens often that perfection isn’t real and that our imperfections are really what make us beautiful.

Strategies to Build Resilient Kids and Teens

12 Daily Social Emotional Practices to Try

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12 Daily Social Emotional Practices to Try

Social emotional learning is the process that helps children and young adults learn valuable life skills such as empathy, friendships, confidence, self-control, self-awareness, and responsibility. These are just a few of the many critical skills and competencies that are learned through social emotional practices.

If we want children and teens to acquire social emotional competencies, we have to teach and practice those skills often. Further, these skills are so important that it’s easy to argue that learning about them should be part of our every day.

If we want children and teens to acquire social emotional competencies, we have to teach and practice those skills often.

With that, it is so important for every educator and parent to have techniques, strategies, and practices in their own social emotional toolbox.

Here are 12 daily social emotional practices to incorporate:

1. Practicing Mindfulness

We all want learners to feel more calm, focused, regulated, and happy. Mindfulness is one of the best techniques to help cultivate these qualities with kids and teens. This is certainly a skill that needs to be taught, but it really can be fun to do so!

Teaching about mindful breathing is a great place to start. I love this as a SEL skill and coping skill, because it’s a technique kids and teens can do anywhere and anytime. Some of my favorite mindful breathing techniques include Shape Breathing and Bubble Breathing. There are so many to try!

Ready to start your mindful practice? Use this set of mindfulness activities to teach about mindfulness, why it matters, and how it can be practiced each day.

Teaching mindfulness helps kids and teens learn self-regulation.

2. Positive Affirmations

The words we say to ourselves can have a huge impact on our confidence and perseverance. There is no better way to start off each morning than with positive self-talk statements. Use this free positive affirmation activity to read positive phrases and develop your own individualized lists. It’s the first step in beginning a positive affirmations routine in your classroom (or at home).

Positive Affirmations

3. SEL Journaling

SEL journaling is one of the most effective and efficient ways to teach social emotional skills. It’s easy to assign a journal prompt each morning for learners, have them respond in writing, and then discuss together.

So how can you start? You can come up with prompts and discussion questions that you know your students need the most at the moment. For example, if you need to work on positive decision-making skills, ask students to write about what it means to make a good choice and list off some positive choices they have made this week.

If you need more support and structure in a SEL Journal, you can use a Social Emotional Learning Journal filled with prompts for the entire year (and yes I have a SEL Journal for younger learners too!).

One of my favorite parts of a SEL Journal is that it becomes a record of the skills you have discussed and learned together. That means you can easily review a section if you need to work more on empathy, perspective-taking, responsibility, or any other skill.

Social emotional learning journal

4. Practicing Coping Strategies

When managing stress and tough emotions, coping strategies are key. These are the techniques we use to keep ourselves calm. One of the most important points to make about coping strategies is that they are unique for every person. One child might feel calmest during and after coloring, while another child might need to do jumping jacks. This is why practicing coping strategies on a regular basis is so important.

Use this free printable list of coping strategies to help children and teens discuss different techniques and what might work for them.

Printable coping strategies list

5. SEL Question of the Day

Discussions can be a powerful tool when it comes to learning social emotional skills. With a SEL question of the day, pose a question and chat about it. It’s really that easy. This can be a positive start to your morning or an activity you do while waiting for the dismissal at the end of the day.

For example, to start the conversation about diversity, you might ask, “What is something about you that is unique, special, or stands out?” It’s just one simple question but helps begin the conversation about how we can all be similar and different at the same time. Because kids and teens will be discussing the questions and interacting with each other, it can be a highly motivating way to integrate SEL skills too.

Some other examples of questions of the day might include:

  • Self-control is stopping, thinking, and making a good choice. Why is it important to stop and think about choices?
  • Having a growth mindset means knowing you can improve skills with hard work. What does determination mean to you?
  • What are some social expectations to follow when playing games or sports?
  • Relationship skills are the tools and knowledge we use to build relationships. What skills are important in relationships?

If you are ready to start using a question of the day to support SEL skills, you can grab this yearlong set of SEL questions to target skills from self-awareness through decision-making.

Social emotional learning question of the day

6. Greetings

Greetings help children and teens feel valued. While it’s a simple strategy, it’s one worth mentioning. Research shows that greeting children and teens at the doorway as they walk into the classroom sets an important tone. This simple action can increase student engagement, reduce challenging behaviors, and help kids feel a sense of belonging.

Use this free printable (and digital) greetings poster to remind kids and teens how they can greet each other each day. Add it to your morning meeting routine or just do it as students walk in the room.

Free greetings poster for morning meeting

7. Brain Breaks

No one can be “on” all of the time. That’s why brain breaks are so important. They are a semi-structured activity time to help children and teens move their bodies and calm their minds. Practice these tasks between activities or when you notice your students need a quick pause.

Some simple brain break ideas include:

One of my personal favorite brain break activities are these mindful brain breaks with a nature theme. It’s always helpful to try different brain breaks and see what works for your learners.

Brain breaks to incorporate movement.

8. Relationship-Building Chats

Relationship-building is something that should be worked on throughout the entire year with kids and teens. A few relationship-building questions or discussion starters is a great way to support relationship-building while also conversation skills, empathy, and more.

Use this free list of relationship-building questions to always have something fun and engaging to talk about!

Free relationship-building questions list

9. Real-Life Scenarios

Help children and teens make positive choices and learn social emotional skills through real life experiences. To do this, give a scenario and ask, “What would you do?” Students can talk with a partner or small group and then share back with the class.

This is another favorite activity because not only can it be part of your everyday routine, but these cards are an excellent way to maximize instructional learning time too. Just have extra cards ready for when a lesson ends early or when students are late getting picked up.

Download these free social problem-solving scenario cards to get started discussing social skills with your learners.

Social scenario problem-solving cards

10. Organization Time

In order for children and teens to do their best in the classroom, they need daily organization time. Sometimes, the day goes by extremely quickly, leaving students with messy binders, disorganized backpacks, and desks filled with things that should be other places.

Make it a daily routine to give 10 minutes of organization time at the end of every day. It’s a healthy way to support social emotional skills while also building executive functioning skills that we all know are so important.

Give daily organization time to support social emotional learning.

11. Morning Meeting

Morning meeting is a semi-structured time to welcome students and perform a group activity. This is a time that sets the tone for a positive climate, builds meaningful relationships, increases student confidence, and creates a community where all voices matter.

In addition to all of that, morning meeting is also one of the best and most natural times to teach social emotional skills. In just five steps in a morning meeting you can:

  • Start with greetings.
  • Introduce a SEL skill or topic.
  • Start a group discussion.
  • Do an activity or two together.
  • Reflect and get prepared before moving on for the rest of the day.

You can perform this five-step morning meeting process on your own, but if you need a little more structure and support, you might want to check out this yearlong morning meeting set to get started. It started as printable morning meeting cards (one per day) but also has digital slides to project or use when students are learning from home.

Morning meeting time to target SEL skills

12. Emotions Check-in

It’s healthy and normal to check in with emotions on a regular basis. We need to explicitly teach and practice this for learners to really understand that!

The steps to checking in with emotions include:

  • Pausing for a moment to breathe.
  • Asking yourself how you feel.
  • Saying the emotion words out loud or writing them.
  • Thinking about your feelings. Sit with them and let them be!
  • Ask yourself what you need.

Use this free 5-step emotions check in poster to get started!

Daily emotions check in

Just a note that these are really just a few strategies for integrating SEL with kids and young adults. What’s most important is that you try a technique and stick with it to see how it works for you and your learners.

12 daily social emotional practices to try

25+ Coping Skills Activities to Help Kids Manage Stress

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Coping skills are the supports and strategies that help children and young adults manage tough emotions and deal with stress. For kids and young adults who are still learning how to manage their emotions, learning these coping strategies is extra important. If we want kids and teens to use healthy coping strategies, we have to teach them how.

Practicing coping skills is essential. Research shows that just teaching these strategies once isn’t enough. In order for learners to effectively use these skills and tools to calm down when they are upset, they need to commit them to memory. This comes with practice.

With that, this list is filled with activities to teach and practice coping skills. Choose a few that you think will work for your learners and give them a try.

Here are 25+ strategies to teach and practice coping skills:

1. Start with a Mindful Morning

Use this free printable and digital activity to start each morning in a mindful way. Of course, it’s not something you can do just in the morning but anytime of day when you need a break. It includes deep breathing, mindfulness, practicing gratitude, and more.

Use this free printable and digital activity to start each morning in a mindful way. Of course, it's not something you can do just in the morning but anytime of day when you need a break. It includes deep breathing, mindfulness, practicing gratitude, and more.

2. Make a Coping Strategies List or Menu

Help kids and young adults understand their options for coping skills with a menu. Grab some pre-made coping strategies visuals or use this free coping strategies list to help kids and teens make a list of their own.

Help kids and young adults understand their options for coping skills with a menu. Grab some pre-made coping strategies visuals or use this free coping strategies list to help kids and teens make a list of their own.

3. Watch Wildlife

Spend time outside (or just peek out the window) to observe the beauty of wildlife. Watching wildlife can reduce stress, improve focus, and promote feelings of calm.

Spend time outside (or just peek out the window) to observe the beauty of wildlife. Watching wildlife can reduce stress, improve focus, and promote feelings of calm.

4. Use Animal Live Cams

If you can’t get outside to watch wildlife, the next best thing is watching an animal live cam. I love these tools because they are calming from the very start. You can pretty easily find animals that your students will love to watch, whether it is a pair of bald eagles in the wild or a koala cam at the San Diego Zoo.

5. Do a Daily Emotions Check-In

Checking in with your own emotions is a critical way to manage emotions. Use this free printable and digital check-in page to teach students how to pause, ask how they feel, identify emotions, and move forward.

Checking in with your own emotions is a critical way to manage emotions. Use this free printable and digital check-in page to teach students how to pause, ask how they feel, identify emotions, and move forward.

6. Color or Draw

Coloring and drawing are often a favorite coping skill because they are simple and easy to try. It’s important to mention that you don’t need to consider yourself an artist to use coloring as a coping skill. Just color and be. Use these free printable mindful coloring pages to give it a try.

Coloring and drawing are often a favorite coping skill because they are simple and easy to try. It's important to mention that you don't need to consider yourself an artist to use coloring as a coping skill. Just color and be. Use these free printable mindful coloring pages to give it a try.

7. Use an Interactive Mindfulness Book

Make practicing coping strategies interactive and fun with a digital mindfulness book. This digital workbook includes activities like breathing and guided visualizations to help kids feel calm and in control.

Make practicing coping strategies interactive and fun with a digital mindfulness book. This digital workbook includes activities like breathing and guided visualizations to help kids feel calm and in control.

8. Write a Compliment List

Grab a notebook or just a piece of paper and write out compliments about yourself. This can actually be a challenge for some learners, but helps them focus on the positives while clearing the mind.

Grab a notebook or just a piece of paper and write out compliments about yourself. This can actually be a challenge for some learners, but helps them focus on the positives while clearing the mind.

9. Listen to Music

Just like most coping skills, listening to music is a highly individualized strategy. Try different types of music and take note of how you and your learners feel.

10. Try Mindful Breathing

By focusing on the inhales and exhales of our breath, it can help restore calm and focus. Mindful breathing is one of the best techniques to try. Use some of these fun mindful breathing techniques to get started or grab these mindful breathing cards to use right away.

By focusing on the inhales and exhales of our breath, it can help restore calm and focus. Mindful breathing is one of the best techniques to try. Use some of these fun mindful breathing techniques to get started or grab these mindful breathing cards to use right away.

11. Read

Reading for pleasure cane help learners of all ages feel cozy and calm. Help kids and teens find the right reading material for them; this can be anything from a picture book (yes, even for older learners), a magazine, or a classic chapter book they are interested in.

Reading for pleasure cane help learners of all ages feel cozy and calm. Help kids and teens find the right reading material for them; this can be anything from a picture book (yes, even for older learners), a magazine, or a classic chapter book they are interested in.

12. Exercise

There is so much potential in using exercise as a calm down technique. Try different exercises from sports to stretching to see what works for you and your students.

13. Practice Yoga

Practicing yoga is a unique activity because it is exercise and mindfulness in one. Research has shown that yoga increases levels of GABA in our bodies. This amino acid fights against feelings of depression while creating feelings of calm. There are many videos (like this Yoga for kids Youtube channel) to help you get started.

Practicing yoga is a unique activity because it is exercise and mindfulness in one. Research has shown that yoga increases levels of GABA in our bodies. This amino acid fights against feelings of depression while creating feelings of calm. There are many videos (like this Yoga for kids Youtube channel) to help you get started.

14. Write in a Journal

Writing in a journal helps get thoughts out in a safe way. This can be extremely beneficial for people of all ages. Sometimes, just by writing thoughts out, you can learn to make sense of things in a different way. Give free writes or use more directed prompts. I put together this list of mindfulness journal ideas you can start right away. You can also get going right away with a journal focused on mindfulness.

Writing in a journal helps get thoughts out in a safe way. This can be extremely beneficial for people of all ages. Sometimes, just by writing thoughts out, you can learn to make sense of things in a different way. Give free writes or use more directed prompts. I put together this list of mindfulness journal ideas you can start right away. You can also get going right away with a journal focused on mindfulness.

15. Make a Coping Strategies Challenge

If you are looking for a way to integrate many different coping strategies, try this free coping strategies challenge. It includes a 30-day challenge focused on teaching a variety of coping skills. As kids try each one, they rate how effective they were.

If you are looking for a way to integrate many different coping strategies, try this free coping strategies challenge. It includes a 30-day challenge focused on teaching a variety of coping skills. As kids try each one, they rate how effective they were.

16. Build Something

Use blocks, Legos, or any other tool to build something. Kids and teens can create freely, or build something based on how they are feeling.

17. Read Positive Affirmations

Reading positive affirmations can build confidence while also creating a sense of calm. Use this free positive affirmations activity to read through a list of self-talk statements and write out favorites to read.

Reading positive affirmations can build confidence while also creating a sense of calm. Use this free positive affirmations activity to read through a list of self-talk statements and write out favorites to read.

18. Spend Time Outside

Being outside is a natural stress reliever that can be used whenever the weather allows. A walk outside can serve as a way to exercise and practice mindfulness at the same time. Look around and notice what you see and hear as you walk.

19. Make Printable Crafts

It can be calming to the central nervous system to color, cut, and put something together. Printable crafts can serve as a calm down strategy while also teaching about coping skills themselves. One of my favorite crafts is this Coping Strategies Wheel because it is a tool kids and teens can use later on as well.

It can be calming to the central nervous system to color, cut, and put something together. Printable crafts can serve as a calm down strategy while also teaching about coping skills themselves. One of my favorite crafts is this Coping Strategies Wheel because it is a tool kids and teens can use later on as well.

20. Use a Fidget

Fidgets are tools that can help calm the body and mind. While they are fun, it’s important to first teach that these are not toys when we use them to get calm – instead, they are tools. Some favorites includes putty, kinetic sand, liquid timers, and stress balls.

Fidgets are tools that can help calm the body and mind. While they are fun, it's important to first teach that these are not toys when we use them to get calm - instead, they are tools. Some favorites includes putty, kinetic sand, liquid timers, and stress balls.

21. Create a Coping Strategies Notebook

Put together individualized notebooks with this free coping strategies notebook activity. Just list in favorite coping skills, write step-by-step directions, and add a picture. This is a tool kids and teens can come back to again and again.

Put together individualized notebooks with this free coping strategies notebook activity. Just list in favorite coping skills, write step-by-step directions, and add a picture. This is a tool kids and teens can come back to again and again.

22. Write an Accomplishment List

Instead of focusing on all the things you have to do, try writing an “accomplishment list.” This is a list of all the things you have accomplished lately.

23. Use Digital Crafts

While printable crafts are a helpful tool, it’s sometimes great to have digital options too. Use this Positive Self-Talk Flower craft to learn about positive self-talk as a coping skill.

While printable crafts are a helpful tool, it's sometimes great to have digital options too. Use this Positive Self-Talk Flower craft to learn about positive self-talk as a coping skill.

24. Use Brainteasers or Riddles

Brainteasers and riddles encourage us to think outside the box and challenge our minds. This can be a healthy brain break to reduce stress and refocus the brain in a positive way.

25. Laugh at Jokes

Laughing helps trigger the release of endorphins in the brain, sending out feel-good vibes and reducing stress. Try watching “try not to laugh” videos together or make up your own joke book.

26. Take Photos

Photography is an engaging hobby, but also a healthy coping skill that people of all ages can try. Use a camera or just a phone to take some interesting pictures of normal objects around you. Just by stopping and thinking about objects around, you are actually practicing mindfulness at the same time.

Photography is an engaging hobby, but also a healthy coping skill that people of all ages can try. Use a camera or just a phone to take some interesting pictures of normal objects around you. Just by stopping and thinking about objects around, you are actually practicing mindfulness at the same time.

27. Talk

For some people, talking can be a healthy reset when they are feeling sad or stressed. Talking about topics unrelated to that actual problem can actually be a great way to start because it serves as a quick distraction. Use this free list of 100+ questions to build relationships.

28. Use a Relaxation App

Give calming apps a try! Some favorites include Breathe2Relax, Calm, Personal Zen, and Pacifica.

29. Make a Gratitude List

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools when you are feeling down. Make a list of what you are thankful for. Change it up by trying to list out something you’re thankful for with every letter of the alphabet. Grab this free set of gratitude activities to give it a try.

I hope this list has been helpful. If you have more of your own favorite coping skills, share them below!

20+ Things All Kids Should Believe About Themselves

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So often, as adults, we want kids and teens to behave in certain ways. We want kids to take responsibility for their actions and own up when they make a mistake. We want them to make positive choices from the start. We want them to take risks, learn, and grow. We want them to feel empowered and use their voice to make a positive impact in our communities.

All of these things sound great, but they all start with one thing: mindset. In order to be at their best, kids and teens need to develop a more positive mindset about themselves and what they can accomplish. This is just one small component to social emotional learning as a whole, but it’s a great place to start.

The original idea for this actually started with just a small Instagram post, but I learned quickly how important this topic was to other educators.

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What else would you add?

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Kids and teens are constantly getting messages from friends, social media, television, and beyond. Unfortunately, those messages are not always the most positive ones.

As an educator, I believe it is part of our responsibility to help shape the minds of kids and young adults for the better. That means helping them develop a more positive voice, use positive self-talk on a regular basis, and improve their confidence.

Since that Instagram post, I have thought about more statements that all kids and teens should believe and added them to a longer list.

There are many different ways you can use these statements to help kids and teens rethink their thinking about themselves. Here are just a few:

  • List or read one statement each day. Discuss it and ask kids to share their thoughts.
  • Have kids make their own lists to reread when they need.
  • Use the topic to introduce positive affirmations.
  • Cut out slips with the positive statements. Have kids randomly pick one to read aloud.
  • Have students list out their statements and believes to create a class bulletin board filled with positive thoughts and ideas.
20+ ideas and beliefs all kids and teens should believe about themselves. Kids and teens need a more positive mindset to approach challenges, overcome problems, and reach their goals. Use this article with some fun free posters and activities to help.

Free exclusive printable for Pathway 2 Success members.

If you love this list and are already signed up as a Pathway 2 Success member, head over to the free resource library to grab the printable posters and activity. Head here to learn more about joining – it’s free, provides you with article updates, and gives you access to a complete free resource library for social emotional learning. I would love to have you!

Here are 20+ things all kids and teens (and yes, even adults) should believe about themselves:

  • I can do difficult things with hard work and perseverance.
  • I am enough and a work in progress all at the same time.
  • It’s okay to mess up sometimes, as long as I learn and grow.
  • I will have touch days sometimes, and I can get past them.
  • How others treat me is a reflection of them, not how I treat others is a reflection of me.
  • I can help and be helped.
  • I should take responsibility for my actions in good times and in tough ones.
  • Every day I can have a fresh start.
  • My feelings matter.
  • I am free to make my own choices.
  • It’s okay to embrace my emotions, no matter what they are.
  • I am unique and don’t need to compare myself to anyone to feel happy.
  • My quirks are wonderful; they make me who I am.
  • I have the power to make my dreams come true.
  • Things won’t always go the way I planned, but I will cope and be okay in the end.
  • It’s okay to cry sometimes.
  • I can say “no” when I’m uncomfortable with something.
  • My voice matters.
  • I am loved.
  • Taking care of myself is important.
  • Stepping outside my comfort zone helps me grow.
  • Even when I know about about something, there is still more to learn.
  • I am proud of my accomplishments.
  • I am growing into the best version of me.

What statements would you add? Let me know. I’d love to add to the list!

5 Steps for a Daily Emotions Check In

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5 simple steps for a daily emotions check-in. This is a healthy, fun, and meaningful way to integrate social emotional learning into the classroom and at home. Use this free printable and digital poster to set the stage for student success! Just follow each of the steps to help kids and young adults identify their feelings and problem-solve.

Checking in with our thoughts and feelings should be an important part of every day. It’s a healthy technique that helps kids and teens face their emotions, practice mindfulness, and consider what they need. This can ultimately help children and young adults work past any challenges they are experiencing so they can have a successful and productive day. That’s a win for everyone.

It’s also worth mentioning that a daily check in helps kids and teens improve their self-awareness skills, a critical element to social emotional learning in general.

The goal is to teach kids to check in with themselves from time to time. This is obviously a great activity for the classroom, but it’s really more than that. It’s a life skill.

Here are a few tips for a daily emotions check-in before getting started:

  • Make it a daily routine. It might seem silly at first to learners to “check in” with emotions. When you make it a regular practice, it can become more natural over time.
  • Pair a check-in with morning meeting time. Morning meeting is simply one of the best times to target social emotional skills. It makes sense to use this time to check in with feelings, learn new SEL skills, and build a foundation learners need for success. Read about 5 simple steps to start morning meeting focused on SEL.
  • Check in with your own emotions. It’s true that this activity was designed for kids and teens, but adults need check-ins much the same. As adults, we do our best to support learners when we are feeling emotionally strong too.
  • Respect individual privacy. Some kids are going to want to share how they’re feeling and that’s great. Others won’t feel comfortable, and that should be respected. Respecting privacy helps make an emotions check in a safe space.
  • Continue to foster social emotional skills throughout the day by integrating social emotional learning and/or implementing a SEL curriculum. Starting with an emotions check in is a great first step, but social emotional learning should be incorporated throughout the entire day.

If you love this activity, I’ve added a free printable and digital check-in poster you can grab and use right away. Click the picture below to try it out, or keep reading for more details about the process.

5 simple steps for a daily emotions check-in. This is a healthy, fun, and meaningful way to integrate social emotional learning into the classroom and at home. Use this free printable and digital poster to set the stage for student success! Just follow each of the steps to help kids and young adults identify their feelings and problem-solve.

Step 1

Pause for a moment and breathe. The first step to any successful emotion check in is taking a moment to breathe. Teach students that when we control our breath, it can help us to better manage our bodies and minds too.

Besides focusing on self-awareness, this step also targets skills for self-regulation and coping strategies.

One simple tip is to use mindful breathing exercise cards to help facilitate some mindfulness in under a minute before getting started. If you have learners who love nature, give some of these nature mindful brain breaks a try too.

Use mindful breathing to set the tone for an emotions check-in.

Step 2

Ask yourself how you feel. This step seems silly, but it’s often forgotten. Kids and teens should be able to ask themselves how they feel in the moment. You can model this by saying to yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” and “What feelings am I noticing?”

Step 3

Say the emotion words out loud or write them on paper. Out loud or in a journal, have learners write or say the emotions they are feeling.

It’s healthy and normal to feel multiple emotions at once. For example, someone might feel nervous and excited about a competition. Sometimes, it can be confusing to feel different feelings at the same time. Listing them out can help with that process.

Similarly, I like to think of emotions as layers of an onion. Sometimes, we might feel angry but underneath that is usually another emotion. When we stop to think about our feelings, we can really pull back the layers of the onion to truly understand what is going on.

Step 4

Think about your feelings. Sit with them and let them be. Sometimes, when dealing with emotions, we are so quick to want to change our emotions. It’s worth teaching kids and teens that it’s okay to embrace the emotions we have. Sit with them. Think about how they make us feel.

This can be an awkward time for some, so it might help to allow kids and teens to color or doodle while learning to sit with their emotions. Use these free mindful coloring pages to help learners “just be” as they feel their feelings.

Use mindful coloring pages to help learners “just be” as they sit with their emotions.

Step 5

Ask yourself what you need. Say or list what could help you move forward. The final step should be focused on moving forward. Teach kids and teens to think about what they need in order to move on with the rest of the day.

If there is something they are struggling with, it might help to make a plan. For example, if a student feels worried about a test coming up, they can make a plan to study for it. If a learner is struggling to focus because they are so excited about their weekend, maybe it would help to talk about it for a few minutes or write in a journal.

This ultimately teaches problem-solving along with all the other skills that have been targeted along the way.

It’s worth noting that emotions check-ins don’t always fix every problem or challenge. Kids and teens need to know that is okay. What’s important is that these daily check-ins can help us cope with those feelings along the way.

5 simple steps for a daily emotions check-in. This is a healthy, fun, and meaningful way to integrate social emotional learning into the classroom and at home. Use this free printable and digital poster to set the stage for student success! Just follow each of the steps to help kids and young adults identify their feelings and problem-solve.

8 Mindful Brain Breaks with a Nature Theme

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Everyone needs a break in their day. This is true whether students are learning in the classroom (in person) or taking part in a virtual classroom and learning from a distance. Brain breaks are a healthy strategy to help kids and teens clear their minds, refocus, and start fresh.

As a bonus, mindful brain breaks are more than a quick break between academic tasks. They are actually a coping skill kids and teens can take with them wherever they go. By learning techniques for mindfulness, students can work to improve self-regulation skills, manage tough emotions, and develop a sense of calm in challenging times.

In particular, I’m a huge fan of brain breaks with a nature focus. Why? Nature is naturally calming. Everything from the feel of the wind to the sound of the birds singing brings about a sense of calm. Venturing off into nature to calm down is great, but sometimes we don’t always have that luxury. That’s where brain breaks with a nature theme come in.

It’s worth mentioning that all of the brain breaks listed below come from a Mindfulness Brain Breaks for Nature set you can grab and use with your learners. They are printable and digital, making it easy for you to use in the classroom or virtually.

Mindful brain breaks are a helpful tool to help improve focus, encourage self-regulation, and just give a fresh start. Use these mindfulness brain breaks in the classroom or virtually to help students to do their best!

Get started with mindfulness nature break breaks with your learners.

In the meantime, here are are 8 mindful brain breaks you can use with your learners (or just for yourself!) right away:

Mindful Observance. Pick any object around you. This can be anything from a water bottle to a book. Of course, it’s even better if you can choose an object from nature, such as a leaf, rock, or stick. Focus all of your attention on that object. Think about what it looks like, what shapes it contains, how it moves, and even how it makes you feel. Keep focusing on that object for at least two minutes.

Feelings of Gratitude. Sit comfortably. Breathe in and out. List 10 things in nature you are grateful for. You can say them out loud or write them down. Picture them in your mind as you think of them.

Be the Hawk. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Imagine you are a hawk flying over land. Imagine what you can see, smell, hear, feel, and taste as you fly. Breathe in and out as you imagine this.

Like a Plant. Stand up tall like a growing plant. Stretch up to the sky and hold your pose. Think about all the ways you have grown in the past year. Release and come back to normal. Try again three more times.

Butterfly Breathing. Imagine you are a beautiful butterfly with colorful wings. Use your arms to pretend you are flapping your wings as you breathe in and out slowly.

Rainforest Visualization. Imagine you are standing in a rainforest filled with green plants and waterfalls rushing over rocks. Just breathe. Think about what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.

Songbird. Imagine you are a bird perched on a branch overlooking a vast green forest. Quietly hum a song to yourself as you slowly breathe in and out.

Floating on a Cloud. Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and imagine you are floating on top of a cloud. Relax all of your muscles and let the cloud control your weight. If you can, feel free to try this while lying down!

Remember that brain breaks should be simple and fun. While they might seem “silly” at first, practicing them a few times can provide kids and teens with the quick break they need to get back to learning their best.

10+ Phrases to Avoid Saying to Learners with Executive Functioning Challenges

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Kids and teens who struggle with executive functioning challenges go through a lot every day. From trying to focus in class, remembering to turn homework in, and working through daily challenges that pop up, it can be stressful. Executive functioning challenges are real.

What are executive functioning challenges?

Executive functioning skills are the life skills we use every day to accomplish daily tasks. They include planning, organization, time management, task initiation, self-control, working memory, flexibility, and perseverance.

When you think about it, these skills are ingrained in everything we do. For example, when you need to clean or tidy a room, you use a variety of skills all at once. You need organization skills to help you figure out where things go, time management skills to work most efficiently, self-control to help you stay with it when you want to watch television instead, and task initiation skills to get started in the first place.

Over 10 phrases to avoid saying to kids and teens with executive functioning challenges.. and what to say instead! Use these strategies to build kids up and help them become independent.
Grab your free executive functioning skills poster.

Humans aren’t pre-programmed with these skills. Some children learn them at home, with peers, during real life situations, and at school. While many kids and teens walk into the classroom with these skills intact, it’s safe to say that many still do not.

Kids and teens with executive functioning challenges are going to struggle with a variety of tasks. As individuals, we each have our own unique profile of executive functioning strengths and weaknesses, so this may look different for different kids.

You might see a student who loses homework assignments or never remembers to bring the right binder to class (planning and organization). This might be a child who continually calls out in class and acts in impulsive ways (self-control). You might see this in a learner who gives up too quickly on assignments because they are “too challenging” for that student (perseverance). Perhaps it is a teen who spends the entire working period on one math problem instead of being able to move on and work on other questions instead (flexibility and time management).

Can executive functioning skills be strengthened?

In a one-word answer: yes. Executive functioning skills can be strengthened and improved over time. Just like improving math or reading skills, learners can also strengthen their abilities to plan, stay organized, and use self-control in challenging situations.

Most importantly, adults (both parents and teachers) do not have to be experts in executive functioning skills to help kids and teens make improvements. There are many different ways to teach executive functioning skills to students, from board games to discussions.

If you need something to help young adults learn these skills right away, I’ve put together an entire yearlong executive functioning set filled with printable and digital activities.

Get started with executive functioning activities for the year.

How do our words impact kids with EF challenges?

As adults, we play a huge role in supporting learners through these challenges. And one thing is for sure – our words can be powerful.

Below, I highlight some phrases to try and avoid saying to kids and teens with executive functioning issues. Just an important note that many of these things I’ve said (some many times). This is in no way meant to shame or embarrass anyone who has said them. Instead, I share this as an educational and supportive post meant to help us all grow and learn along the way.

Additionally, this isn’t just a way to “sugarcoat” what we want to say. It’s really about working with kids and teens in the best way. If we can make small changes in what we say to help kids feel more confident, strong, and empowered, it makes sense to give it a go.

And of course, while the intent is focused on learners who struggle with EF needs, it should go without saying that many of these strategies could be applied to all kids and teens.

10+ Phrases to Avoid (and what to say instead):

#1 “This is easy.”

I am guilty of using this phrase in the past. It sounds like it should be encouraging, but actually can have the opposite effect. Just because something is easy for one person, doesn’t mean it is easy for another. And if a student is struggling with something that should be easy, it could be a big blow to their confidence. 

What to do or say instead:

  • Teach positive affirmations to help kids and teens develop a positive inner voice. (example: “You’ve got this.”)
  • “On a scale of 0-10, how easy or difficult is this for you?”
  • “Let’s get started and see how you do.”
  • “How are you feeling about this so far?”
  • “Do you want me to show you some strategies that can help you through this?”
  • “You can do this with hard work.”

#2 “Hurry up.”

Kids and teens with executive functioning challenges are more likely to take longer on tasks. This can be due to slower working memory, weak attention skills, or difficulty with task initiation. While it’s normal to want to move along quicker, telling a child or young adult to hurry up actually can have the opposite effect. It can create feelings of shame, worry, and anxiety. It’s clear that doesn’t solve the problem and often only makes it worse. Instead, let’s remind kids and teens to go at the pace that’s right for them.

What to do or say instead:

  • Remember to have empathy and give patience first and foremost.
  • Give wait time.
  • “Think about it and I’ll come back to you in a few minutes.”
  • Give a heads up before calling on a student in class.
  • Make a checklist for tasks together to serve as a written and visual reminder. This can help build independence.
  • “Go at the pace that’s right for you.”
  • Teach time management skills.
  • “Let’s take a time check. Think about where you are and what you need to finish.”

#3 “I already told you.”

Imagine this situation: A child finally figures out that they need to get started on an assignment but realizes they have no idea what to do. When they go and ask for help, they are told, “I already told you.” This is a huge motivation and confidence killer. There are several reasons why the student might not have understood or heard the instructions the first time around. The goal is always to help kids and teens learn the skills and become independent. So, when a learner comes around asking for help, it’s important to give them that support instead of turning them away.

What to do or say instead:

  • “What could you use help with?”
  • “Where could you find that information?”
  • “Do you need a refresher? That’s okay! We all need that sometimes. I can explain.”
  • “What questions do you have?”
  • Incorporate visuals and written reminders to help promote independence.
  • Provide interventions for attention skills.

#4 “I’ll just do it.”

Learned helplessness is a real threat for kids and teens with executive functioning challenges. This is what happens when they learn they just can’t do thing on their own. Eventually, they figure out it’s easier if someone else just does it all for them, stripping them of their independence. Even though it’s often more challenging and time consuming for kids and teens to complete tasks on their own, it’s critical they go through the process.

What to do or say instead:

  • Give prompts and encouragement, but let the child do it independently.
  • “What do you think you should do next?”
  • On most challenging tasks, take turns with the student. For example, the adult can write one sentence and the student writes the next. This provides support, while still setting the expectation that the child is also doing the work on their own.

#5 “You’re lazy.”

Kids believe what is said about them. By labeling a child or teen as lazy, it can be incredibly dangerous in the long-term. And while it’s pretty obvious that this is a phrase no adult should ever say directly to a child, I think it’s worth stating that it’s not something that should ever be said about a kid, either.

What to do or say instead:

#6 “You should already know how to do this.”

As educators, we’ve all thought this one. We teach a skill or expectation and have the belief that every child should know how to move forward on their own. In reality, that’s not always the case. If a child or teen doesn’t complete a direction or task, there is a reason why. Consider where the breakdown is and go from there.

What to do or say instead:

  • “What do you think you should do?”
  • “Where could you find the directions for this assignment?”
  • “Who could you ask if you are stuck?”
  • “What strategies can you use if you are stuck?”
  • Stop and consider what skills that student might need to be taught. If they are lacking a skill, teach it explicitly before moving on.

#7 “Calm down.”

Telling an agitated person to calm down doesn’t actually help anyone calm down. Working through executive functioning challenges can absolutely be stressful and difficult day after day. And it’s okay if kids feel frustrated sometimes. Instead of “calm down,” try teaching and practicing some coping strategies together.

What to do or say instead:

#8 “Act your age.”

The idea of acting your age is an interesting area for discussion when it comes to executive functioning skills. Some researchers, such as Dr. Russell Barkley, have indicated that learners with EF weaknesses (specifically learners with ADHD) actually behave younger than they would without those challenges. Quite often, this statement is really intended to help kids and teens make better choices. Here are some strategies to get there.

What to do or say instead:

  • “What are the expectations you should be following?”
  • “What should you be doing right now?”
  • “I know you can make a better choice. I believe in you.”
  • “Let’s reflect. What did you do well? What could you do better for next time?”

#9 “You need to redo this. You did it wrong.”

Kids and teens mess up sometimes (we all do, right?). So, there is nothing wrong with having them redo assignments or tasks when they aren’t right. In fact, it’s often important. What’s critical is the way that we, as adults, approach this. Simply telling a child they did something wrong often invites shame and discouragement. When we want kids to improve, it’s important to build them up and help them understand what they can do better.

What to do or say instead:

  • Use rubrics or checklists and have students assess themselves first.
  • “Let’s reflect together. What did you do well? What could you use help on or improve?”
  • “Before turning that in, I’d like to to re-read the directions and make one improvement.”
  • Use the sandwich technique (give positive feedback, then criticism, and then more positive). Ex: “You really did a great job on your introduction here. I like how you explained your argument clearly. I noticed on your next paragraph, you could add some extra details to support that claim in a stronger way. You made a HUGE improvement from the last paper, so I’m so excited to see the final product. Keep it going!”

#10 “Sit still.”

Many kids and teens with executive functioning challenges have difficulty sitting still for extended periods of time. If a student seems like they need to move, it’s usually because they do in fact need to move. Further, many times these students often learn better moving than sitting still.

What to do or say instead:

  • Give movement breaks.
  • Incorporate brain breaks between tasks.
  • Allow students to stand while working.
  • Consider flexible seating.
  • “Could you answer up at the board for me?”
  • Practice mindfulness.
  • “Let’s take a movement break before getting back to work.”
  • “Go ahead and stand while you work if that’s best for you.”

#11 “I like the way _____ is acting.”

This is one of the phrases many of us educators learned in college. It is supposed to be a classroom management strategy. Instead, it teaches kids and teens to always compare themselves to others. While the intent is good, the impact can be a negative one for learners.

What to do or say instead:

  • Instead of comparing, just be explicit with expectations.
  • Meet privately with the student if they are not meeting expectations.

#12 “You should have brought that with you.”

Kids and teens with executive functioning challenges are more likely to forget things. Usually, they know this. They don’t want to forget things; they just struggle with planning and organization.

What to do or say instead:

  • Incorporate interventions for organization.
  • Come up with strategies with the student to help them remember the materials they need. For example, come up with a list to keep on their binders or in their lockers. You can even post reminders at the front door before kids walk in.
  • Set up a classroom office with supplies for students who need them.
  • “Here, I’ve got this one you can borrow.”
  • “Is there a classmate you can share with today?”

#13 “Quit doodling.”

Sometimes, when we see someone doodling, we assume that means they are not listening. It’s important to adjust that mindset. For some learners, doodling is a way to keep their hands busy while they are taking in information. Rather than asking kids to stop doodling, give a simple check-in to assess for understanding.

What to do or say instead:

  • “Can you draw a picture about what you’ve learned so far?”
  • “Tell me your three biggest takeaways from the lesson?”
  • “What are your thoughts on that?”

#14 “You’re late.”

Kids and teens with EF challenges struggle with getting to class on time. Perhaps they lost track of time (time management) or started down the hall with the wrong binder (organization). Regardless of the reason, they usually know they are late. This statement can start the tone off in a negative way.

What to do or say instead:

  • “I’m happy to see you.”
  • Develop strategies and supports to help assist with getting to class on time, like checklists and a schedule.

#15 “You’re on your own.”

While it’s true that we want all learners to be independent, they also need to know we’re here to help them along when things get tough. Kids and teens with executive functioning challenges are notorious for giving up prematurely because tasks feel too difficult for them (perseverance). Instead of telling them they are on their own, remind them they can do it in the first place.

What to do or say instead:

  • “You can do this. I believe you.”
  • “I want you to try on your own first, but I’m here if you need me.”
  • Teach and practice perseverance.
  • Teach and practice positive affirmations.

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When working with any kids or teens, our words mean a lot. If you take just one thing away from this post, I hope that it is that you can absolutely help kids and teens improve their executive functioning skills. Sometimes, that might be big things like teaching skills directly. Other times, it might just be considering the very things we say.

15+ Positive Affirmations Activities for Kids and Teens

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Positive affirmations are the encouraging words we say to encourage and motivate ourselves along the way. These are phrases like, “I can do this,” and “Today will be a great day.” Seemingly simple words that have a big impact on our minds.

Just some of the benefits for using positive self-talk include:

  • It builds confidence. In order for kids and teens to feel proud and confident of their abilities, they have to remind themselves what those strengths are.
  • It increases motivation. Sometimes, starting a task or chore can be hard. Kids and teens can use positive words to propel themselves forward.
  • It serves as a coping strategy. We all experience emotional ups and downs. Using positive self-talk is a simple technique kids and teens can take with them anywhere to deal with emotions.
  • It promotes self-love. Caring about yourself is important. It’s always worth the time to teach kids and teens they are valuable, beautiful, and enough the way they are.

Before getting started practicing positive affirmations with kids and teens, teach learners what positive self-talk is and how it will help them. It’s worth mentioning that they might not be believers at first. That’s okay! Positive self-talk is a practice, meaning it is an activity we get better at every time we do it.

Here are ideas for practicing positive affirmations:

List Favorite Affirmations

Read through a list of positive affirmations. Then, have kids and teens choose their top 10 affirmations to say to themselves. What’s great about this activity is that everyone’s list will be different! Students can post their top 10 list in their lockers, on their desks, or keep in their binder to read when they need. Grab this free printable list or head over to read 101 positive affirmations for kids and teens.

Affirmation of the Day

Choose one positive affirmation for the day. Make it a point to focus on this positive thought in the morning and several times throughout the day. Once students understand the idea, you can have them choose the positive affirmation of the day too.

Morning Affirmation Ritual

Make positive affirmations a daily routine! Come up with a list of favorite affirmations and build time into the schedule to read them every morning. This can be done at home or first thing when students arrive at school each day. Use this free sample list or come up with your own!

Affirmation Circle

Stand in a circle. Have one child start by reading or saying a positive affirmation aloud. Have that student call on another student to have them read an affirmation aloud. Keep the affirmation circle going until all students have said at least one affirmation aloud. You can add movement by having students toss a ball to whoever gets to read next.

Sing It!

Sing each positive affirmation to the tune of a favorite song or just an instrumental background. Make this a challenge to see who can come up with the best song.

Fill in the Blank

Provide a sentence starter, such as “I am…” or “Today, I will…” and have learners fill in the blank. Kids and teens can do this in writing or out loud. Another thought is to write this sentence starter on the board. Then, have students come up and finish the statement. When all students are finished, the board will be filled with many different positive affirmations, such as: I am strong, I am beautiful, I am unique, and I am enough. You can even try these Positive Self-Talk Boom Cards to build on these skills in a digital way.

Around the Room

Write positive affirmations on popsicle sticks or slips of paper. Put them all together in a bag or box. Go around the room and have students randomly pick out a slip to read. This gives every learners a chance to read a random positive affirmation.

Beach Ball Affirmations

Use an inflatable beach ball and write different affirmations all over. Toss the ball around. When one student gets the ball, they need to read aloud the positive words that are where their pointer finger touches. Then, they can pass the ball to someone else and continue the process.

Positive Thoughts Breathing

Give positive thoughts breathing a try. In this technique, you might first want to teach about mindful breathing, a practice where we focus on our breath to help calm our bodies and minds. To give it a try, think of a positive thought as you slowly breathe in. Hold your breath for a few seconds and then breathe out.

Write a Poem

Have kids and teens write a poem using only positive affirmations. They can use a positive affirmations list to help them, or they can come up with encouraging words on their own. Give a chance to read poems aloud. As an extension, students can write out their poem on poster board or larger paper and then make designs around it.

Sticky Note Reminders

Have kids list out some different positive affirmations on sticky notes. Then, place them in spots where they might randomly remind them of the encouraging words. For example, kids might place inside their math book, in their homework binder, in their locker, or on their fridge at home. These can serve as mini-reminders to help kids do their best, think positively, and stay focused.

Positive Affirmation Collage

Have students create their own collage with a picture of themselves in the middle. All around their picture, they should add words and images focused on positive affirmations. This can be the most fun when students clip words out of magazines but you can also have them write the positive words on paper and paste them right on to their collage. Learn more about other ways to integrate social emotional learning into art.

Make an Affirmation Mini-book

Have kids and teens choose their top positive affirmations. For each page, list out that positive affirmation and draw a picture. Put the book together as something kids and teens can use when they are feeling overwhelmed or need a boost.

Design Affirmation Posters

Have students choose their favorite positive affirmation and design it into a poster. They can color and add pictures however they want. Once finished, students can hang on to their poster or you can post them around the room. You can even put them up as a bulletin board filled with words of encouragement.

Use Real-Life Scenarios

Give practice for using positive affirmations by using real-life scenarios. You might ask kids and teens, “Imagine you are about to take a test, but you feel overwhelmed. What would you say to yourself?” You can even do this activity using characters in a story or novel.

Highlight the Lyrics

Several popular songs include lyrics with positive affirmations. Some examples include “Roar” by Katy Perry, “Good Life” by One Republic, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, and “Beautiful Life by Ace of Base. Print the lyrics out and have students read them. They can highlight the positive words, read, and even sing them.

I hope these activities are helpful techniques you can use to unleash the incredible power of positive thinking with kids and teens. Do you have a favorite? Share in the comments to let others know!

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⭐ Kristina Scully
💖 SEL & Executive Functioning
💻 Blogger at www.thepathway2success.com
👩‍🏫 Curriculum Specialist
🏫 10 Year Special Ed Teacher

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