Behavior Management

6 Simple Ways to Help Kids Manage Big Emotions

April 1, 2021 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Being able to manage our own emotions seems like a simple task at first glance, but it’s actually quite complex, especially for growing children and teenagers. It involves understanding your feelings, managing stress, using coping strategies at the appropriate times, problem-solving through challenges, and knowing when to ask for help. This can be a lot for growing children and teens. They don’t always know exactly how to manage those feelings, which is why it is so critical for adults to provide support along the way.

Big Emotions, Big Behaviors

Anger, worry, fear, shame, frustration, embarrassment, confusion, and even excitement. These are just a few big feelings that children and teens might need to cope with on any given day.

One important point to make is that when a child is struggling, we usually don’t see the emotion at first. We see the challenging behaviors. This might include acting in aggressive ways such as yelling, pushing, kicking, biting, or destroying property. Other times this might look like work refusal, avoidance, and doing the opposite of the directions given. We might also see withdrawal or irritability. These are just a few examples, as children and teens can behave in various ways when struggling with emotions. Always keep in mind that emotions are often the driving force behind behaviors.

A child or teen most likely isn’t going to say, “Excuse me, I’m struggling with my feelings right now.” They might act out, though. It just happens to mean the same thing. When we see children and teens acting out in negative ways, this should be a cue that they need some support.

Teach Skills When Calm

All kids and teens are going to struggle with managing emotions from time to time. It’s normal and healthy. With that said, some kids are going to need a bit more support than others. If working with learners who continually struggle in this area, consider teaching some of the skills for managing emotions just as you would skills for learning math or reading. Kids and teens can learn how to understand their emotions, check in with themselves, use coping strategies, practice flexible thinking, using self-control, and appropriately deal with emotions. Remember to teach these skills proactively when kids are calm.

Simple Strategies In the Moment

All educators of kids (big and little) need strategies for helping them manage emotions in the moment. And while I’m a huge advocate for teaching coping strategies and skills to children themselves well ahead of time, these techniques are really designed for adults to use while a child is struggling.

This article also puts an emphasis on simple strategies because in any given fast-paced day, it’s important to have to-the-point techniques in our toolbox that work. What’s most helpful in this list of techniques is that they are truly universal; these are strategies that can be used with children in preschool to high schoolers (and yes, even adults).

There is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to helping kids manage tough emotions, which is why it’s important to have a few ready for when something doesn’t work.

Here are six simple techniques for helping children and teens manage their emotions:

#1 Listen

The most important technique when a child or teen is struggling with emotions is to actively listen to them. This means giving distraction-free attention to a child and really hearing them out. It helps to remain judgement free while a child or teen is expressing their emotions. Try to avoid taking over the conversation. Instead, ask prompting questions that might help them share more information about how they are feeling and what they need. Sometimes, this can take a while, but if you chat long enough, valuable information is almost always given.

Beyond all of that, sometimes someone just need to be heard. A few prompts for starting the conversation might include:

“What’s going on?”
“I noticed you’re struggling with ______ today. What’s up?”
“Talk to me. How are you feeling?”
“Let’s chat.”
“How would you rate how you’re feeling from 0-10?”

#2 Co-regulate

Co-regulation is the process of actually sitting with kids and teens to calm down together. It’s most helpful if these strategies and techniques have already been practiced ahead of time. This is just because of how the brain works. When kids and teens are overwhelmed, they don’t think as clearly. It’s difficult for them to pick up a new coping skill on the fly. If we want them to use these strategies when they truly are overwhelmed, we need to teach them before.

Even so, sometimes in the moment it can be difficult to embrace the idea of calming strategies. This is why co-regulation can be so powerful. Adults are modeling the skills they want kids and teens to do.

You can start by offering or suggesting a strategy. For example, you might say, “Let’s take a few minutes and color together.” Another idea is to offer a choice between two activities. If neither of those seem to work, just choose a calm down strategy and do it on your own near the child. Quite often, the learner will pick it up and try too.

Here are a few coping strategies that might work best:

Coloring or drawing
Reading a book or magazine
Reading positive self-talk statements
Exercising
Practicing mindfulness
Journal writing
Organizing something
Doing a puzzle
Mindful breathing
Mindful journaling

These are just a few of many different coping strategies you can try. Use a coping strategies list to read more and give them a try.

#3 Give Space

One of the most under-utilized supports for helping manage emotions is giving space. An overwhelmed child can sometimes become more overwhelmed without the time and space they need to get back on track. Give supports, but it’s also okay to walk away. Some helpful phrases to give some space include:

“I’m here when you need me.”
“If you want to talk about that later, let me know, and I’ll be here to listen.”
“Let’s talk about that later.”
“Take a break and I’ll check back in with you in a few minutes, okay?”

#4 Distract

Sometimes children and teens need mental space from the challenges they are coping with. A quick distraction can provide that. Here are some ways to help distract a child or teen in the moment:

Have the child help with a task. Keeping busy can help kids and teens reset their minds. The task doesn’t need to be “fun,” but it’s best if it’s not challenging. For example, ask if they can help you put up some bulletin board pieces or if they can deliver a note to another teacher down the hall.
Ask about a pet or loved one. The people and pets we love are comforting. You might ask about how a child’s dog is doing to set them on a better frame on mind.
Tell a funny story from your own life. Kids and teens loving hearing stories from trusted adults. The story doesn’t need to be connected to how the child is feeling at all. It’s just a quick distraction. Anything to get a laugh is best! I personally loved telling stories about my dog, Nova. Just as an example, the time Nova growled at a snowman was always a favorite.
Ask questions about a favorite hobby or activity. We all experience positive emotions when we talk about our favorite activities. Use that to your advantage when helping a child manage emotions by asking about some of those hobbies. If a teen loves hockey, ask how his team has been doing. If a child loves music, talk about their favorite songs or band.
Ask a riddle or brainteaser. Consider giving a small brain game to help provide a distraction. Again, this technique will not work for every child, but some kids and teens thrive on puzzles and figuring things out.
Play a game. When all else fails, offer to play a game together. While this strategy cannot be done in every setting or in every situation, sometimes it’s important tool to have ready. So often, kids will begin talking and externalizing their emotions during a game. So, sometimes it’s worth a try.

#5 Draw or Write

Not all children and teenagers are capable of verbalizing how they are feeling and what they need. This is where drawing and writing come into play. These different methods give kids a chance to share those emotions in a non-threatening way.

Some strategies to help kids express feelings in this way include:

Write a letter about how they are feeling.
Draw a picture that shows their emotions.
List out all the feelings they feel.
Give free journal writing time.
Journal or draw to music.

#6 Problem-Solve

When a child or teen is calm, one of the most powerful ways to help them manage emotions is through problem-solving. When problem-solving, it’s important to not solve for kids but with them. It is critical that kids and teens know they have the power to solve their own problems, even if they need help sometimes.

Some ways to problem-solve together include:

Come up with a list of possible solutions.
Draw a picture of the perfect way to solve the problem.
Act out different ways to solve the problem.

Teaching Coping Skills

If you’re ready for the next steps in teaching techniques to students, give some of these coping strategies and calm down resources and activities a try.

25+ Coping Skills Activities to Help Kids Manage Stress

December 14, 2020 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Coping skills are the supports and strategies that help children and young adults manage tough emotions and deal with stress. For kids and young adults who are still learning how to manage their emotions, learning these coping strategies is extra important. If we want kids and teens to use healthy coping strategies, we have to teach them how.

Practicing coping skills is essential. Research shows that just teaching these strategies once isn’t enough. In order for learners to effectively use these skills and tools to calm down when they are upset, they need to commit them to memory. This comes with practice.

With that, this list is filled with activities to teach and practice coping skills. Choose a few that you think will work for your learners and give them a try.

Here are 25+ strategies to teach and practice coping skills:

1. Start with a Mindful Morning

Use this free printable and digital activity to start each morning in a mindful way. Of course, it’s not something you can do just in the morning but anytime of day when you need a break. It includes deep breathing, mindfulness, practicing gratitude, and more.

2. Make a Coping Strategies List or Menu

Help kids and young adults understand their options for coping skills with a menu. Grab some pre-made coping strategies visuals or use this free coping strategies list to help kids and teens make a list of their own.

3. Watch Wildlife

Spend time outside (or just peek out the window) to observe the beauty of wildlife. Watching wildlife can reduce stress, improve focus, and promote feelings of calm.

4. Use Animal Live Cams

If you can’t get outside to watch wildlife, the next best thing is watching an animal live cam. I love these tools because they are calming from the very start. You can pretty easily find animals that your students will love to watch, whether it is a pair of bald eagles in the wild or a koala cam at the San Diego Zoo.

5. Do a Daily Emotions Check-In

Checking in with your own emotions is a critical way to manage emotions. Use this free printable and digital check-in page to teach students how to pause, ask how they feel, identify emotions, and move forward.

6. Color or Draw

Coloring and drawing are often a favorite coping skill because they are simple and easy to try. It’s important to mention that you don’t need to consider yourself an artist to use coloring as a coping skill. Just color and be. Use these free printable mindful coloring pages to give it a try.

7. Use an Interactive Mindfulness Book

Make practicing coping strategies interactive and fun with a digital mindfulness book. This digital workbook includes activities like breathing and guided visualizations to help kids feel calm and in control.

8. Write a Compliment List

Grab a notebook or just a piece of paper and write out compliments about yourself. This can actually be a challenge for some learners, but helps them focus on the positives while clearing the mind.

9. Listen to Music

Just like most coping skills, listening to music is a highly individualized strategy. Try different types of music and take note of how you and your learners feel.

10. Try Mindful Breathing

By focusing on the inhales and exhales of our breath, it can help restore calm and focus. Mindful breathing is one of the best techniques to try. Use some of these fun mindful breathing techniques to get started or grab these mindful breathing cards to use right away.

11. Read

Reading for pleasure cane help learners of all ages feel cozy and calm. Help kids and teens find the right reading material for them; this can be anything from a picture book (yes, even for older learners), a magazine, or a classic chapter book they are interested in.

12. Exercise

There is so much potential in using exercise as a calm down technique. Try different exercises from sports to stretching to see what works for you and your students.

13. Practice Yoga

Practicing yoga is a unique activity because it is exercise and mindfulness in one. Research has shown that yoga increases levels of GABA in our bodies. This amino acid fights against feelings of depression while creating feelings of calm. There are many videos (like this Yoga for kids Youtube channel) to help you get started.

14. Write in a Journal

Writing in a journal helps get thoughts out in a safe way. This can be extremely beneficial for people of all ages. Sometimes, just by writing thoughts out, you can learn to make sense of things in a different way. Give free writes or use more directed prompts. I put together this list of mindfulness journal ideas you can start right away. You can also get going right away with a journal focused on mindfulness.

15. Make a Coping Strategies Challenge

If you are looking for a way to integrate many different coping strategies, try this free coping strategies challenge. It includes a 30-day challenge focused on teaching a variety of coping skills. As kids try each one, they rate how effective they were.

16. Build Something

Use blocks, Legos, or any other tool to build something. Kids and teens can create freely, or build something based on how they are feeling.

17. Read Positive Affirmations

Reading positive affirmations can build confidence while also creating a sense of calm. Use this free positive affirmations activity to read through a list of self-talk statements and write out favorites to read.

18. Spend Time Outside

Being outside is a natural stress reliever that can be used whenever the weather allows. A walk outside can serve as a way to exercise and practice mindfulness at the same time. Look around and notice what you see and hear as you walk.

19. Make Printable Crafts

It can be calming to the central nervous system to color, cut, and put something together. Printable crafts can serve as a calm down strategy while also teaching about coping skills themselves. One of my favorite crafts is this Coping Strategies Wheel because it is a tool kids and teens can use later on as well.

20. Use a Fidget

Fidgets are tools that can help calm the body and mind. While they are fun, it’s important to first teach that these are not toys when we use them to get calm – instead, they are tools. Some favorites includes putty, kinetic sand, liquid timers, and stress balls.

21. Create a Coping Strategies Notebook

Put together individualized notebooks with this free coping strategies notebook activity. Just list in favorite coping skills, write step-by-step directions, and add a picture. This is a tool kids and teens can come back to again and again.

22. Write an Accomplishment List

Instead of focusing on all the things you have to do, try writing an “accomplishment list.” This is a list of all the things you have accomplished lately.

23. Use Digital Crafts

While printable crafts are a helpful tool, it’s sometimes great to have digital options too. Use this Positive Self-Talk Flower craft to learn about positive self-talk as a coping skill.

24. Use Brainteasers or Riddles

Brainteasers and riddles encourage us to think outside the box and challenge our minds. This can be a healthy brain break to reduce stress and refocus the brain in a positive way.

25. Laugh at Jokes

Laughing helps trigger the release of endorphins in the brain, sending out feel-good vibes and reducing stress. Try watching “try not to laugh” videos together or make up your own joke book.

26. Take Photos

Photography is an engaging hobby, but also a healthy coping skill that people of all ages can try. Use a camera or just a phone to take some interesting pictures of normal objects around you. Just by stopping and thinking about objects around, you are actually practicing mindfulness at the same time.

27. Talk

For some people, talking can be a healthy reset when they are feeling sad or stressed. Talking about topics unrelated to that actual problem can actually be a great way to start because it serves as a quick distraction. Use this free list of 100+ questions to build relationships.

28. Use a Relaxation App

Give calming apps a try! Some favorites include Breathe2Relax, Calm, Personal Zen, and Pacifica.

29. Make a Gratitude List

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools when you are feeling down. Make a list of what you are thankful for. Change it up by trying to list out something you’re thankful for with every letter of the alphabet. Grab this free set of gratitude activities to give it a try.

I hope this list has been helpful. If you have more of your own favorite coping skills, share them below!

12 Reasons Why Every Class Needs Morning Meeting

August 10, 2020 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Morning meeting is a daily time to meet with students and help frame the day for success. Sometimes it might be called a daily check-in or morning circle. Whatever you call it, the idea is pretty simple. Educators sit with their students, greet each other by name, talk about topics that matter, and give everyone a chance to share.

Morning meeting is also a technique that can be used across all age and grade levels. For elementary learners, morning meeting would most likely happen the first 10-20 minutes of the day in the regular classroom. For secondary learners, morning meeting could take place in homeroom or advisory. It’s always important to make sure the morning meetings work for you and your classroom.

If you are teaching online, it’s worth mentioning that morning meeting can be practiced virtually online, too. Just like your in-person morning meetings, start with greetings, discuss important topics, and give time to share.

Whether you are face-to-face with learners or virtual through an online program, morning meeting sets the tone.

Here are 12 reasons why all educators should implement a morning meeting:

#1 Morning meeting builds strong relationships. By meeting and talking about things that matter to kids each day, you are helping to build strong relationships and a climate of trust. Not only do educators get to know their students on a deeper level, but students will learn from other students, too. During this time, students will likely share their thoughts, feelings, problems, needs, and hopes for the future. You can use this free printable of 100+ relationship-building questions to ask during your morning meetings.

#2 Morning meeting is the perfect time to teach SEL skills. I developed an entire yearlong set of morning meeting cards that focus on social emotional learning skills. Grab them if you’re looking for a no-prep way to run your morning meetings and integrate these skills! Even if this set isn’t something you want to invest in yet, try integrating SEL skills into your morning meeting times right away. Spend a day talking about skills that matter, like empathy, friendships, coping skills, growth mindset, developing goals, responsible decisions, and more. Talking about these skills directly will make a big difference for your learners. Grab this free printable SEL poster to highlight different skills you can target during your time!

#3 Morning meeting can be an outlet for mental health supports. The goal is that with time and consistency, morning meeting can be a place where students will feel comfortable voicing their concerns, thoughts, and needs. This can create a safe space for all learners. Additionally, morning meetings provide the perfect setting to talk about strategies for managing stress and mental health, such as coping skills, healthy habits, and dealing with tough emotions.

Morning meeting or circle time is the ideal time to teach social emotional skills to your students while building community and strengthening relationships. Learn what is morning meeting, why it matters, and grab some activities to get started.

#4 Morning meeting can help learners build confidence. Morning meeting is daily group that gets together to talk about topics that matter, so how can this build confidence? Learners get to know each other so well that they start to feel comfortable stepping outside their comfort zone! They are better able to take risks, share their voice, and feel proud of who they are as individuals. Best of all, these skills don’t just show up in morning meeting. Students who feel more confident might be more likely to succeed in all areas of the curriculum, too.

#5 Morning meeting is a time when kids can just share what is on their mind. This point maybe isn’t obvious, but it’s important. So often, the school day is extremely busy. There aren’t always chances for kids to talk about a new artist they are interested in or the soccer game last weekend. It’s always important to dedicate part of morning meeting to just a share-out time when kids can share what is on their minds.

#6 Morning meeting helps students problem-solve. Let’s face it: kids and young adults deal with some challenging situations from day-to-day. Morning meeting can be a space where learners can ask for feedback or ideas about how to solve problems in their life, like someone being mean on the bus or how to handle a fight with a friend.

#7 Morning meeting is an emotional check-in. A daily morning meeting is a simple check-in time for each student to think about (and share) how they are feeling and what is on their mind. A daily check-in builds self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Most importantly, this can be a big deal for students who might need some extra support.

#8 Morning meeting builds community. This goes beyond just strong relationships with each other. Building a community means caring about each other, having empathy, working together, giving support, and always including others. When you start your day with your group and talk about issues that matter to your learners, it helps build the foundation for that community. Not only does this benefit your classroom by teaching skills for working together, but it also gives the feeling that we’re all in this together.

#9 Morning meeting can teach and discuss academic skills. Morning meeting can provide an outlet to teach skills like studying for a test, getting organized, paying attention in class, and time management. These self-management skills are foundational to academic and personal success. Sometimes, in the busy school schedule, there isn’t always a perfect time for them, which is why morning meeting can be a great solution.

#10 Morning meeting can reduce behavioral challenges. When students feel valued, supported, and listened to, it makes sense that there would be less behavioral challenges. A research study showed that greeting students each day reduced behavioral challenges. Now, just imagine taking 5-10 minutes each day with greetings and discussion. One major benefit to morning meeting is that this time can turn diminish behavior problems before they even start.

#11 Morning meeting teaches that all voices matter. One important aspect to morning meeting is that all students have a chance to share. When morning meeting becomes a daily practice, it teaches all students to respect and listen to one another. Not only is this an important skill for the classroom, but an important life skill, too. Help show that every voice matters by starting with a daily greeting. Download a free poster with daily greetings to build community to start.

#12 Morning meeting increases student engagement. A daily check-in and discussion time can be the perfect recipe to help wake up and engage young minds. Morning meeting focused on social emotional learning can help students become more focused, alert, and ready to go for the rest of the day.

Getting Started

Now that you understand the value and importance of morning meetings, give them a try! You can always start on your own just with greetings, sharing out, and daily activities.

Head over here to learn more about leading morning meetings, setting up your expectations, and how to get started.

If you’re looking for a bit more structure and focus on social emotional learning, I’ve developed a Morning Meeting for Social Emotional Learning for the entire year. If you work with older learners, you can check out this set of SEL morning meeting cards for older kids too!

I’ve added computer-friendly pages to each set to help educators teach virtual morning meetings from a distance. Just share your screen and discuss the questions to get started. Try it out and let me know how it works for you!

Managing Disrespectful & Rude Behaviors in the Classroom

March 3, 2020 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Strategies for managing disrespectful, rude, and other challenging behaviors in the classroom. This post is targeted to teachers and principals who need support with challenging behaviors in elementary, middle, and high school. #pathway2success #behaviormanagement

Let’s talk about disrespectful behaviors in the classroom. The child who talks back. The student using their cell phone, even after being told to put it away. The kid who refuses to do their work, and even loudly tells you, “no!” when you try to politely give some encouragement. The student who jokes about your class being dumb, causing an eruption of laughter in the room.

As educators, we’ve all encountered some (or probably all) of these situations from time to time. Here are some strategies to help you manage these challenging behaviors and get back to what you do best – teaching your students.

Change your mindset. First, the most effective strategy is actually a mindset shift. Kids aren’t being rude to be rude or disrespectful. Kids and young adults are coping with challenging feelings the very best way they know how to in the moment. Let’s think about it: Wouldn’t it actually be easier for a student to follow the rules and just fly under the radar? In most cases, it would. So, it’s important to remember that disrespectful, rude, or challenging behaviors are not really directed at you. They are just a way to communicate needs.

Challenging behaviors are the way a child is communicating. Use these strategies, tools, and ideas to help support kids and teens in school. #pathway2success

Have empathy. Remember that we don’t know what goes on in the lives of our learners. Take a trauma-informed approach. Rather than blaming and accusing the student for their behavior, take a step back and consider that they are struggling in some way. Even if we don’t know the reasons for the struggles, it’s helpful to have empathy always.

Be consistent with expectations. Kids and teens need boundaries. Spend time teaching, discussing, and practicing the expectations. Adults can be fun and still have rules. The key, though, is that kids need to know and truly understand them. Prior to group work, talk about what the expectations for being a good ground member are. Act them out and highlight them while kids are working. Before independent work, model what a good independent worker looks like. Give reasons and explanations for these expectations. It’s also important to note that this isn’t just something for the beginning of the year. Reviewing expectations should be a year-round and continuous process. All kids benefit from a refresh and some kids truly need it.

Train yourself to not take offense. This takes real work. Remember, though, that these are kids and young adults. They are still learning and growing. It’s critical to stress that these behaviors are not often meant to be directed at you. Also, think about it: Are you really offended that a 10-year-old made fun of your hair? Do you actually feel upset that a teen said your class was stupid? When we phrase these “rude” situations like this, it seems even a little silly to take offense, really. With that said, there are times when kids and young adults can use their words as weapons. When this happens, it’s important to view those behaviors as needs and skill deficits. Train yourself to not take offense so that you can stay calm and collected.

Consider skill deficits. When a student says something mean or rude, consider how it could be the result of a lack of social skills. For example, if a student keeps blurting out in class, are they really purposefully being rude or are they struggling with self-regulation? If a child tells you that your shirt is ugly, are they trying to be mean or do they lack a strong social filter? While not all “rude” behavior fits into this category, it’s worth taking the time to consider first.

Focus on the relationship. Continually focusing on the relationship with your students demonstrating rude behaviors is extremely important – for you and for them. First, so often, a child or young adult with challenging behaviors needs connection. Spend time talking about non-school related topics, find out their interests, hear about family, and listen to their favorite music. No relationship-building topic is too small. There needs to be connection before there can be correction. There really is no other way. Use this free printable relationship-building questions list or read up on more strategies for building relationships with your learners.

Relationships are a key element to supporting kids with behavioral challenges in the classroom. Help kids and teens while improving the entire atmosphere of the classroom. #pathway2success

Ignore what you can ignore. Sometimes, kids and young adults act out as a way to express their feelings. Of course, they aren’t going about it the right way, but in the moment is not the right time to address it. Other times, kids might be acting out for attention. In both cases, ignoring what you can ignore is often the best action in the moment. Walk away or pretend you didn’t see that eye roll. If you have to address some behaviors in the moment, say, “We’ll talk about it later.” This gives the adult the opportunity to let others know they are handling it, but also reduces any chance for power struggles along the way.

Be prepared for behavioral episodes. Using the word “ADAPT,” you can remember to act calm, de-escalate, acknowledge feelings, problem-solve, and think reflectively.

Avoid the impulse to punish. Now, I’m all for logical consequences. Punishments, though, are a whole different ball game. Sometimes, when a kid or young adult acts out, our first impulse is to punish them by giving them a detention or assigning extra homework. Almost all of the time, these on-the-fly punishments will do more damage to the relationship than they will help the problem. Problem-solving over punishing will always win.

Keep them in the room. As long as students are in your room, they can keep learning. This is especially important for those kids who refuse to do their work. Even if the student is not starting the classwork, leave them be. They will get much more out of the class conversations and discussions than they would in the office or in a desk outside your room. There are exceptions to this, of course, including when students are disruptive to the learning to others or if there are any acts of violence. It’s safe to say that those are times when additional support outside of the classroom is necessary. When possible, though, keep them in the room.

Use de-escalation strategies. Strategies to defuse a bad situation are worth their weight in gold to an educator. I strongly feel these strategies should be emphasized, discussed, and practiced during educator training every single year. Grab this free list of de-escalation strategies to print as a reminder and read up on more de-escalation strategies.

Use de-escalation strategies to reduce behavioral challenges in the classroom. Grab your free copy and learn how to manage challenges behaviors in this blog post. #pathway2success

Consider the why. There is always a reason behind the behavior. If a student is acting out when they have to do math problems at the board, maybe they are really embarrassed to do work in front of others. If a learner disrespects you when you ask for the homework, maybe they didn’t understand it and they don’t want to look dumb. Don’t focus on the what. Focus on the why. These will lead you into the right direction of problem-solving, rather than blaming.

Be self-reflective. Take some time to reflect on the situations that led up to the problem situations in your classroom. Of course, this isn’t a blame game. Being self-reflective means just considering what went wrong and what could have gone better. Could you have asked a question in a different way? Did you put the student in a situation that was maybe extremely uncomfortable for them? Was the classroom too noisy, causing the child some distress? Be open-minded and ask yourself some questions to figure out what you could do better next time.

Strategies for managing challenging behaviors in the classroom: Be reflective! Think about what might have gone wrong and how you can fix it in the future. #pathway2success

Meet privately with the student. Not punitively, meet with the student and talk with them. Rather than blaming them personally, highlight that you noticed there was a problem and you want to help solve it. For example, you might say, “Jane, I noticed there was a problem when you were working in a group yesterday. What’s going on with that?”

Listen. As educators, sometimes we have the habit of talking more than we listen. In this case, rather than talking at the student, give them time to speak. Sometimes, you will be amazed at what you learn. Maybe that student didn’t realize they were calling out. Maybe the student felt disrespected by something you said first. Regardless of what you think about their behavior, give kids a chance to speak. They deserve that. It can become the foundation for repairing relationships and moving on.

Brainstorm solutions. After listening to a student, brainstorm some strategies that might solve the issues together. Again, stay open-minded about suggestions from the student. Offer some of your own ideas as well. Actually brainstorming solutions goes a long way. The best solutions are almost always developed together.

Make a plan together. After brainstorming, set up a specific plan of action with your student. Come up with at least one thing the student can do and one thing you can do to do better next time. For example, if a student was acting out when in a difficult group setting, perhaps they can come up with a list of group ground rules, and you can agree to ask their input about their groups in the future. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to show that you care and you both are working in the right direction.

Make time for social and emotional supports. All kids and young adults deserve a supportive check-in with an adult. This can be done during morning meeting advisory, homeroom, or even study halls. Talk to kids about how their feeling and what’s going on in their world. You can even t each SEL skills with this morning meeting set for the year that I developed. While this intervention won’t fix disruptive or challenging behaviors in the moment, it is a proactive approach that will help learners throughout the year, even halting problems before they start.

Use morning meeting time to practice social emotional skills and reduce behavioral challenges in the classroom. Learn more strategies about challenging behaviors and social emotional needs in this blog post. #pathway2success

Teach the skills. If a student is lacking some social skills, teach them. If they need to work on managing their emotions, teach emotional management and coping strategies. If they need to work on self-control, discuss and practice strategies for self-regulation. While not all educators have time for this set up in their schedules, there are many ways you can integrate social skills into your instruction. Another option is talking with support staff about setting up a small lunch group to teach the skills kids need explicitly.

Focus on your own self-care. Working with challenging behaviors can be stressful. Schedule time for yourself to unwind and relax. Whether you take time reading at home, head to the gym, or schedule time with friends, find what works for you. Use this printable self-care poster for educators to remind you throughout the week.

Challenging behaviors can be stressful to deal with! Use strategies to focus on your own self-care. #sel #pathway2success

Throughout these strategies, there is a solid theme. Educators can learn to ADAPT. This is a acronym I created to stand for: Act calm, De-escalate, Acknowledge feelings, Problem-solve, and Think reflectively. These are the essential elements of handling challenging behaviors in the classroom, including behaviors we see as disrespectful and rude. If you are a subscriber, head over to the free resource library to grab your very own ADAPT poster as a reminder. If you aren’t a subscriber yet but are curious, head over here to learn more and join.

Have you been successfully managing disrespectful or rude behaviors in the classroom? Feel free to share what is working for you!

Mindfulness Journal Ideas You Can Try Today

January 20, 2020 by pathway2success 1 Comment

Mindfulness journal activities for kids and teens to help feel calm, focused, and happy. Mindful activities teach self-control, emotional management, growth mindset, self-love, and so much more. Use this as a daily morning practice or in your calm down area. Perfect for home or school. This post has printable and ideas you can use right away! #mindfulness #pathway2success

Mindfulness is a critical self-regulation strategy that can help kids and young adults feel calm and focused. Pairing mindfulness with journal writing just makes sense. Journal writing is personal and allows learners to connect with themselves. Additionally, it’s something kids can stop and do every day.

Mindfulness is an ideal practice in the morning to help kids and teens start their day off in a positive place. Practicing mindfulness can also be helpful before a big test, after a break, or when kids need strategies for self-regulation. Read up more on the 10 best times to practice mindfulness in the classroom.

There are several simple strategies to help learners practice mindfulness with journal writing. While you can read on and try any of the activities right away on your own, I also understand that it’s easy to be busy and struggle with fitting them all in. If you are needing all these and more no-prep ideas, I have put together an entire yearlong mindfulness journal that you can use right away.

Here are three simple strategies you can use right away with your learners to help them practice mindfulness:

MINDFUL FOCUS

What it is: Mindful focus is an activity where learners mindfully focus on one object for a period of time.

How to try it: Have kids choose one object in the room. Encourage them to hyperfocus on the object. Look at it and think about it for a few minutes. What does it look like? What colors does it have? Is it bumpy or smooth? How does it move? What is it used for? What makes it special? After the mindful focus activity, have students write about their object and sketch a picture.

Why it works: By focusing all of your attention on something, you are focusing only on the present moment. This can be a healthy strategy to help kids ground themselves in times of stress.

GUIDED VISUALIZATION

What it is: A guided visualization is an activity that involves picturing a calming scene, such as a beach or quiet meadow.

How to try it: Use a picture or describe a calming scene. It can be anything from a peaceful walk in the park to a calming waterfall in a forest. Have learners picture themselves in the scene. Then, allow them to write about what they see, feel, hear, smell, and taste.

Why it works: By picturing a peaceful scene, kids and young adults can clear their minds and regain a sense of calm. Visualization can be a healthy tool to use when feeling angry, sad, worried, or overwhelmed.

EMOTION CHECK-IN

What it is: An emotions check-in is a free write about how someone is feeling and thinking in the moment.

How to try it: Encourage kids to just close their eyes and think about how they feel. Consider every sensation in your body and thought that pops into your mind. Rather than judging those feelings, let them be. Notice them and recognize them. Then, have learners write about how they are feeling and thinking. As a simple alternative, you can have learners give colors to their emotions as they draw.

Why it works: Checking in with ourselves is an important strategy for improved self-awareness and mindfulness. By thinking about how we are feeling and thinking, we can make better choices about what we need in the moment.

SHAPE BREATHING

What it is: Students will draw a shape on their journal page and trace it as they breathe in and out.

How to try it: Have students draw a shape on their journal page. It can be any shape, such as a shape or a triangle. Students can even draw lines that wave up and down. Then, have students trace the lines of the shape with their finger or pencil as they breathe in and out. Afterward, students can write about the activity and describe how it made them feel. Use these free printable mindfulness breathe boards to get started.

Why it works: By focusing all of their attention on something as they breathe in and out, learners are practicing mindfulness while practicing deep breathing. This can be a helpful strategy to teach because it can be done almost anywhere.

MINDFUL COLORING

What it is: Students will color a coloring page on their own.

How to try it: Explain to students that they will be practicing mindfulness by coloring. Discuss that they will be coloring, breathing, and just letting thoughts pass through their minds. Note that you can play soothing music while students color to support a calming atmosphere. Need a head start? Use these free printable mindfulness coloring pages!

Why it works: Coloring is an active way to calm the mind. Additionally, this strategy can help learners practice just doing something in a mindful way without focusing on what is “right” or “wrong.” This is particularly beneficial for learners with perfectionistic behaviors. It is a perfect way to practice just coloring and being in the moment.

Just a reminder that you don’t need to be an expert to start a mindful practice in the classroom! Just use any of these ideas to give mindfulness a try! You might also want to read up on 5 free mindfulness activities or just grab the yearlong mindfulness journal to get started right away!

Teaching Kindness with a Free Activity

November 11, 2019 by pathway2success 4 Comments

Teach kindness with a free printable learning activity for kids and young adults. As teachers and parents, we know that teaching about being kind can create a more positive learning environment for everyone! Complete a kindness challenge with a fun lesson to help encourage a caring and positive community for all. #kindness #pathway2success

Kindness is an important social skill the plays a huge role in creating a positive learning environment for all. When we have kinder students, kids are better able to work together, share, express differing opinions in respectful ways, and help each other when someone is in need.

To help teach and encourage kindness I’m sharing how a quick and simple lesson on teaching kindness with your learners, as well as ideas for keeping the positivity going. This would be great to do during World Kindness Day, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s, or during the first few days of school. Of course, this is an activity you could do ANY time. Kindness is always cool.

Keep reading for more ideas and a free activity worksheet you can use right away.

Discussing Kindness

Start the lesson by discussing what it means to be kind. Kindness can mean many different things. Sometimes, it is doing something nice for someone else. Sometimes, it is treating someone the way they want to be treated in the moment. Other times, it is doing our part to clean up and take care of the environment. Kindness is even about being loving and thoughtful to ourselves.

Encourage students to come up with a list of ways to be kind. This can be done as a whole group or in small groups. You can even make it a challenge to come up with the biggest list of kind acts before reporting back to the whole class.

Students should come up with lots of different acts of kindness, from opening the door for someone else to helping someone with a homework assignment. What’s most important is that learners notice we can show kindness in big and small ways every single day.

Understanding The Chain of Kindness

Ask students to think about and describe a time someone was kind to them. Have them think about how that made them feel. Have them then share times when they were kind to someone else. Have them also think about how that made them feel.

It’s critical for kids and young adults to see that kindness creates more kindness. It is a chain. When we are kind to someone, it not only makes that person feel good, but it makes us feel good, too. The more kind acts we do, the kinder our entire world becomes.

Making a Kindness Challenge

Come up with a list of kind activities together (or use the one I’ve put together). Encourage students to complete a kindness challenge by actually doing each of the activities throughout the week.

Best of all, this is something you can do again and again by coming up with new lists of kind activities. You could even have a challenge every single week or month.

Make it extra exciting by adding a special reward at the end of the challenge. Just randomly select one winner who completed the challenge and give a special reward, like sitting in the teacher’s chair or getting to choose the movie for the end of the week.

If you want to get started with an activity and fun visual you can use right away, grab this free kindness activity!

Keeping the Kindness Going

It’s important to continually discuss and practice kindness. While one lesson or activity is a great place to start, it’s critical that students see kindness on an ongoing basis. Here are a few other ideas for keeping that kindness going.

Give kindness shoutouts. Dedicate a bulletin board in the classroom to “kindness shoutouts.” Allow kids to write out when they see someone else being kind in the classroom. Have them write it on a piece of paper that you (or the students) can post on the bulletin board.

Model kindness. It’s helpful to get other educators on board with highlighting acts of kindness throughout the whole year. It goes without saying that kids are most certainly watching the adults, how we interact with other adults, and how we interact with kids. Modeling kind behavior all the time needs to be a consistent focus.

Share kindness quotes. One of my favorite quotes about kindness is, “We never know what someone else is going through. Just be kind.” Sometimes, we all need this reminder.

Use literature. There are a number of read alouds that can be used to highlight kindness, gratitude, and giving back. Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson and Good People Everywhere by Lynea Gillen are a few good ones to start with. Grab this free Social Emotional Learning read aloud list for a few more ideas.

Do you have a favorite kindness activity? Share it!

12 Games to Practice Self-Control

November 3, 2019 by pathway2success 5 Comments

Self-control is our ability to stop and think before making decisions. This involves taking a pause when our emotions want to take over so we can think through the situation, consider solutions, assess the consequences, and move forward with the best choice in that scenario. Self-control is particularly difficult executive functioning skill for kids and young adults, and there is actually a scientific reason for that! The limbic system in our brains, which is responsible for managing emotions, develops ahead of the prefrontal cortex, which is the area responsible for planning, suppressing urges, and using self-control. Simply put, that means kids and young adults are going to need lots of practice with using skills for self-control.

Using Games to Teach Self-Control

Games are a great technique for practicing self-control skills because they are instantly fun and interactive. Kids and young adults are far more likely to learn and practice the skills if it’s something interesting to them. Whenever you play any of these games, it’s important to be purposeful about the skills you are teaching. First, explain what self-control is and why it’s so important.

I love to give examples about situations involving self-control that all kids can relate to. One example is: Imagine you are going over to your friend’s house. You see a delicious chocolate cake just sitting there on the counter. You really WANT to just eat a piece or taste the frosting with your finger. What should you do? How could you use self-control? What could happen if you don’t use self-control? These questions are an important foundation to help students understand self-control and why it matters. Let students know they are playing the game in order to practice and strengthen their skills for self-control. Then, let the games begin!

Since games are a great tool to teach skills, you might also want to read up on games to teach social emotional skills and games to strengthen executive functioning skills, too!

Games To Try

Jenga. I love this game because it’s the perfect blend of structure and chaos (perfect for your kids who really need self-control practice!). As students play, remind them to have self-control every time they remove a block from the tower. The more cautious and careful you are, the more likely you are to win. Not only is this a really fun and interactive way to practice self-control, but the entire game becomes a metaphor for self-control in life. If you aren’t careful, things can fall apart. Take your time, stop and think, breathe, and carefully move forward. This is a game you can practice again and again. It never gets old!

Self-Control Speedway. I developed this self-control board game as a fun but direct way to target self-control skills. Students will move along the racetrack game board answering critical questions about self-control. I truly love the idea of comparing self-control to driving because I always it is teaching kids that they are in the driver’s seat!

Blurt. This is by far one of my favorite ways to practice self-control. If you’re not familiar with it, Blurt is a set of cards with definitions for vocabulary words. A leader will read the card and students “blurt” out the answer. My favorite way to play is “around the world” style. Have two students stand next to each other for a duel. Read the card and allow only those two students to shout out the answer. All other students in the room have to use self-control and not shout out, even if they know the answer when no one else does! This can be a big challenge (and GREAT practice) for those students who struggle with shouting out when it is not their turn. Note that if you don’t have blurt, you can always make up your very own cards with content area questions!

Guard Duty. Use this as a secret weapon when you want students to use self-control in the hallways. The idea is simple: Tell students that they are guards for the palace. They have a mission to be as serious and guard-like as possible. That means using self-control and ignoring anyone who tries to distract you! Anyone who fails the challenge has to go to the back of the line. It can be added fun if you have another teacher do something to try and distract your students.

Freeze. This game incorporates movement, play, and self-control all in one. Just play some music and let kids dance, wiggle, and walk around. Have one person be the leader (a teacher to start) and yell “Freeze!” at any time. As soon as someone shouts it, everyone should freeze in place, with the music still playing. This can be challenging with the music still going, because you might have the urge to keep dancing. This is a great game to practice at the end of the week for some added fun.

Simon Says. This game focuses on attention skills, but self-control, too! Kids have to be focused to listen for what Simon says to do, while using self-control to stop themselves if “Simon” doesn’t say it! Stand in front of the class and shout out commands like “Simon says put your hands on your head” and “Simon says stand on one foot.” Then, throw one in there that doesn’t say “Simon says” and see who can follow along. Afterwards, you can switch it up and have students be the leader as well.

Social Problem Solving Board Game. This social problem-solving board game is one of my favorite games I created because it targets so many different social areas all in one. Students move through the game board answering a variety of social problem-solving questions about school, home, activities, and friends. This is a great way to practice self-control because students need to stop and think about how they will solve each problem.

Wait Five. I love this game because it can be played with any trivia, vocabulary, or academic content. This makes it a great review game, too. Ask one question at a time but students must wait a full five seconds before shouting out the answer. This can be especially helpful for those students who love to shout out the answer without being called on. Of course, you can play around with the rules, making the wait time longer or shorter, and even allowing only certain students to shout out at certain times. The whole idea is to build self-control by waiting just a little bit longer than we really want to!

Role Play. Kids and young adults love acting scenarios out, but it can also be a great way to practice skills for self-control. Come up with your own scenarios or use these social scenario task cards. Have students act out the situation in partners or small groups, considering what they would do and why. You can even invite students to act out the situation at the front of the class. It is most important to highlight the socially appropriate choices and why they matter. This can be a fun addition to any morning meeting or social group time.

Self-Control Task Cards. I added these in because you can use these self-control task cards along with any turn-taking game. Just have students answer one card before they can take their turn. It’s a win-win because kids and playing a game they love while learning about self-control at the same time.

Orchestra. Anything that incorporates music and skill practice is a win! For this game, you can choose to pass out instruments to your students if you have them (such as triangles or drum sticks). If you don’t have them, that’s okay, since students can use their hands, pencils, or imaginary instruments to go with the beat. Play a sample of music and have students play to the beat. Continue with many different samples, both slower and faster. The whole idea is that students are able to use self-control to stay with the beat, even if they want to go faster or slower in the moment.

Stoplight. This game is another quick activity that can be done any time with no props. Start by shouting out, “Green Light”. Let students walk around the classroom, talk, and mingle. You can even let them dance if you want to! Then, after a few seconds or minutes, say, “Yellow Light.” At this time, students have to slow down and go at a snail’s pace. They can still move, but it has to be slow! Finally, end with “Red Light,” and have students completely stop in their tracks. You can continue over and over with as much time as you have.

Games can be the perfect way to integrate social skills and self-control practice into your classroom! Do you have other games that work in your classroom? Share them below!

Strategies for Oppositional Kids

October 1, 2019 by pathway2success 6 Comments

The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

Working with kids and young adults who are oppositional can be challenging. Being oppositional might mean refusing to do work, breaking rules, and engaging in other challenging behaviors. The truth is, many kids can be oppositional from time to time, so many of these strategies work with all learners. With that said, these strategies are truly aimed at learners who are more significantly oppositional and defiant. These are the students who demonstrate challenging behaviors on a regular basis, purposefully do the opposite of what is told, engage in arguments, and might even show aggression.

Whether or not your student is diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, it can be helpful to understand the disorder. Many of the strategies and techniques can be helpful for all kids who are displaying defiant or disruptive behaviors on a regular basis. If you think a child or young adult might have oppositional defiant disorder, it is important to talk it over with a professional in your area.

Simply put, kids and young adults who demonstrate oppositional behaviors are often in need of significant interventions and supports, not punishments. The list below highlights several strategies for before, during, and after challenging behaviors.

Oppositional kids need support! The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

PROACTIVE STRATEGIES

Build a relationship. Spend time getting to know your student. Look far beyond their challenges and see who they are as an individual. Find ways to build a positive relationship over time.
Start fresh every day. This one is important. Treat every day as a new start. Not only does this help educators move past yesterday’s challenges, but it also teaches the student that it is okay to have a bad day sometimes. Make this one your mantra.

Consider underlying needs. So often, oppositional behaviors are the result of underlying emotional challenges and needs. Take time to consider if a learner is struggling with feelings of anger, anxiety, or anything else. When it comes to challenging behavior, there is always a reason why, even if sometimes we don’t see it right away.
Explicitly discuss expectations. Teach about social expectations using simple words and visuals. Note that just discussing them once isn’t enough. They need to be openly talked about on a regular basis.
Explain your why. When you have a rule or expectation, explain the why behind it. For example, if you want student to turn their work into a specific bin, explain that this is so you don’t end up misplacing their work. It might seem silly, but sometimes just a valid reason is enough to help a student understand and follow along.
Watch your tone. Tone of voice can mean a lot to kids, and especially to kids with oppositional defiant disorder. Notice the way that you say things. “Please take out your homework for today,” is much nicer and calmer than, “Take out your homework right now.” Sometimes, it’s the small things that make a big difference.
Explicitly discuss consequences. Before challenging behaviors happen, make sure to openly discuss what the consequences will be. Together, come up with a list of what some consequences might be in your setting and discuss why they might happen.
Make sure consequences make sense. Logical consequences are always more beneficial than punishments. In the simplest terms, logical consequence are consequences that make sense and aim to repair the problem, rather than simply punish. For example, if a student makes a mess, the consequence might be to clean up. If a student says something mean to someone else, maybe they should do a kind deed or write a letter.
Give choices often. Rather than giving one direction or instruction, give a choice between two or three things. Choice can make a BIG difference! For example, if you want your student to spend time reading, ask them, “Would you rather pick out a novel, read a magazine, or listen to an audiobook?” As an educator, you are still making sure your student is working towards their goals, but you are also giving the student a say in how they get there.

Develop small goals together. Spend time 1:1 with your student and come up with small and manageable SMART goals that the child can work on. It’s important to make the goals short-term and attainable so that they can reach them and feel successful. Keep in mind that sometimes kids with oppositional challenges don’t see that success often. Getting a taste of it can really change their life. Use that momentum to keep pushing the student forward in the right direction.
Be consistent. Kids and young adults thrive on consistency. Make an effort to have the same routines, expectations, and consequences each day. This makes it much easier for learners to understand and follow along with the expectations you set.
Teach strategies for mindfulness. Many kids and young adults don’t know how to put the brakes on when they are upset. Practice mindfulness once or twice a week together to encourage students to develop these skills over time. It is not a skill that develops right away, so lots of practice is necessary. One big positive is that practicing mindfulness in the right way can be fun for kids and young adults.

Mindfulness activities are a great strategy! The ultimate list for strategies for oppositional defiant kids and young adults! Use these strategies, printables, and ideas to help students who struggle with behavioral challenges in the classroom. These are the students breaking rules, refusing to work, engaging in arguments, and struggling with social skills. Some might be diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and others are not! #pathway2success #oppositionaldefiant #odd

Develop routines. The more routines you have for students, the easier it is for everyone. Develop routines for starting group work, turning in homework, writing homework down, lining up, and switching from one subject to another. The more concrete and consistent these routines are, the less behavioral challenges will come up along the way.
Get all adults on the same page. Consistency from adult to adult is critical. If a student is allowed to run in the hall with one adult but not the other, this can be confusing and even frustrating for the learner. Talk with other professionals, including paraeducators and parents, to try and set similar expectations for the student.
Practice deep breathing techniques. Teaching kids and young adults to control their breathing can help give them tools to calm down in the moment. It’s important that we teach these strategies ahead of time, so kids can use them when they really need them. Use these free mindful breathing boards to give mindful breathing a try.

Identify triggers. It’s critical to spend time to think about our students’ emotional triggers. Knowing that group work, doing work in front of the class, or independent work are triggers can help you structure your class in a way to minimize those challenges. Sometimes, it takes structured observations to figure out the triggers. If you struggle with this, consider having another staff member take time to observe the student and notice what situations immediately precede the behaviors.
Develop a calm down area. Not all kids will need a calm down area, but the ones who need it, really need it. A calm down area is just a special spot for students to go and regulate themselves when they are angry or upset. It is a helpful strategy to keep kids in the room, have them practice coping strategies, and get them back to learning quicker.

Give genuine praise. When a learner is doing something positive, privately let them know. Remember to be specific and genuine in your approach. You might say, “I noticed you worked really hard through that test even though it was a little bit frustrating. That was awesome of you and it showed you’re really doing your best. Thank you.”
Provide breaks. Kids with social-emotional needs can’t be at their best all of the time. They need down time. Schedule structured breaks and activities to give some down-time in their day.
Teach coping strategies. So often, kids don’t know how to calm down on their own. They need to be explicitly taught skills that can help them feel calm, safe, and regulated. Most importantly, kids need to learn and practice these skills when they are calm (not when they are upset). That means spending time actually practicing listening to music, writing in a journal, and coloring. Teaching coping strategies is not a waste of time; it’s a life skill. Learn about unique ways to teach coping strategies or grab this free list of coping strategies to get your students started.

Stay organized. Keeping the classroom and schedule organized will keep your learners organized, too. A lack of organization can frequently be a trigger for oppositional kids who need extra structure in their lives.
Give special responsibilities. Help your most oppositional learning develop a greater connection to the school and classroom by allowing them to give back in some way. Assign the student to water the plants each morning, pass papers back, or be in charge of technology. Try to align the classroom responsibilities with their interests, if possible.
Teach social skills. Simply put, if kids aren’t behaving in a socially appropriate way, we need to teach and re-teach those social skills until they can. To support this need, I have developed social skills lessons for elementary kids and social skills lessons for middle and high school students.

Use student interests. One effective way to keep learners engaged is using their personal interests in lessons and activities. Choose read alouds with trains or bikes, if that is what your student loves. Use math problems about dogs, if that is a particular interest.
Avoid power struggles. A power struggle with a student is always a losing battle. Your best defense is using techniques to avoid power struggles in the first place.
Let the little things go. If a student wants to use a pink gel pen to complete their work, let them! If a learner wants to work standing up, why not? Ask yourself if the behavior is interfering with their learning or not. If it isn’t, try to let the little things go!

Learn ways to calm yourself. Dealing with a student’s challenging behaviors can be difficult in the moment, especially if those outbursts are directed specifically at you. Find ways to calm yourself down, such as deep breathing or positive self-talk). The calmer you can be, the better it will be for all your learners.
Integrate strategies for social emotional learning. Kids and young adult who are oppositional often need supports with social and emotional skills. Learn how to you can integrate social emotional learning or start with these free strategies for SEL.

Brainstorm with other professionals. When you are looking for new strategies and solutions, it’s often helpful to talk with other specialists in your school who know the child. Brainstorm with the school counselor, social worker, psychologist, and any other professionals who work with him or her. Brainstorming with a paraeducator who works with the student can also often be very helpful.
Consider incentives and rewards. While intrinsic rewards are always better, it’s true that sometimes kids and young adults need some extra encouragement along the way. Use this free list of rewards and incentives to get ideas to help motivate your learners.

Talk with the child’s counselor. If possible, get permission from guardians to talk with the child’s outside counselor. It can help to try and work on some of the same strategies together.
Focus on your own self-care. Working with a student who is oppositional can be extremely stressful for the adults involved. Remember to focus on your own self-care so that you can be the best you for all of your learners. Grab this free educator self-care poster as a reminder.

IN THE MOMENT STRATEGIES

Stay calm. Kids and young adults feed off others’ energy. Make it your mantra to stay calm. Sometimes this might mean acting like you are calm, even when you are not! Having a calm attitude is essential to helping kids and young adults feel safe and protected. Not only does a calm demeanor help students regain calm themselves, but it also models appropriate behaviors for them at the same time.
Be clear and concise with expectations. Give specific and simple directions as to what the student is expected to do. It’s important to watch your tone of voice and say these expectations in a non-emotional way. If a student is refusing to start their work, calmly tell them, “Please complete up to number 10. Thank you.”
Give space. When kids are upset, the last thing they need is an adult talking at them and telling them what to do over and over. So often, they already know but need time to get there. Talking to them can sometimes just create more of an argument. Tell them what you need to tell them, but then walk away. Give them space to get themselves started.

Use de-escalation strategies. De-escalation strategies are the techniques you can use to help calm a situation (or learner) in the moment. Read up on different de-escalation strategies you can use or grab this free de-escalation strategies printable as a reminder.

Avoid taking materials away. While this is a critical de-escalation strategy, I think it’s important enough to mention separately. If a child or young adult is using their phone when they shouldn’t be, never take it out of their hands. If they hand it over to you, that’s one thing. It is never advisable to forcefully take something from a child or young adult, though. This just creates a power struggle and will only incite more anger from the child or young adult. Give the instruction, walk away, or ignore, but never take something physically from a learner.
Use planned ignoring. Behaviors can happen for many different reasons. When the function is to gain attention, planned ignoring goes a long way. Planned ignoring is when you purposefully ignore problematic behaviors in order to stop and extinguish them. For example, if a student is making silly noises to get your attention during independent work time, try ignoring and pretending you don’t hear. The idea is simple: if the purpose is to gain attention, don’t give them attention. It’s important to note that planned ignoring can be difficult. Sometimes, behaviors even get worse before they get better. However, if adults are consistent in ignoring the behaviors, it can be an extremely useful strategy.
Help the child regulate their emotions. When a student is upset, it’s always most important to help them get back on track. Give the student time to regulate their emotions by going to a calm down area, spending a few minutes to themselves, or getting a drink at the water fountain.

Don’t take it personally. This is easier said than done, but it’s important to remind yourself not to take behaviors personally. Kids and young adults with behavioral challenges are struggling. They are acting out in the best way they know how to get the support they need in the moment. Take a deep breath and walk away when you need to.

POST-PROBLEM STRATEGIES

Make sure the child is calm. Before reflecting on an issue, it is critical that the child or young adult is calm first. If a learner is still upset, give them extra time to calm down and chill out before moving forward. Remember that the ultimate goal is helping that student learn from their ups and downs. That is only meaningful when they are truly calm and ready to learn.

Give time for reflection and problem-solving. While challenging behaviors are happening is not the time to learn. Kid and young adults are emotionally overwhelmed at this stage, meaning no learning is taking place. However, after a child is calm is the perfect time to reflect and problem-solve for the future. This is when the new learning is happening. Spend time talking with the student. Be inquisitive about what happened and not accusatory. For example, you might say, “I noticed you had a problem today with ____________. What happened?” and “What could we do moving forward?” Spend some time brainstorming ideas, strategies, and solutions.
Be creative. It is critical to stay open-minded during the problem-solving phase. If a child or young adult gives you an idea, consider it. Not everything will work, and that’s okay. It’s important to allow the child or young adult to be part of the problem-solving process, though. For example, if a student says they think they would do better working while listening to music, consider it. Try it. It’s okay to consider strategies even just a trial. Even if it doesn’t work out, it helps give responsibility to the learner themselves. It also shows that you are fair and willing to try things to help them be successful.
Make a plan together. Sometimes, it’s helpful to write out a specific plan with strategies moving forward. When you do this, it’s important to list strategies that the student will do and strategies that the adults will do. While you don’t always need to write out a plan, having these strategies listed and documented helps in a couple of ways. First, it holds all parties responsible for the strategies. Second, it documents that you are trying new strategies. This can be important in the future, so that if it works, you can continue (and if it doesn’t, you can just try something else!). If necessary, you might also consider developing an entire behavior intervention plan.

Give strategies time to work. Not every strategy is going to work perfectly right away. Give them a few times and days before determining if they are effective or not.
Help makeup for mistakes. Teaching kids and young adults how to make up for their mistakes is important. It’s also important that they don’t feel they are thrown into this alone. Help them through it. For example, if a student said something mean to someone else, help them write an apology note to their friend. If a student made a mess in another teacher’s classroom, help them find a time to go in and tidy or clean the room to give back. Not only will this help fix the damage, but it teaches a critical life skill.
Apologize when you mess up. Sometimes, in the moment, we all make mistakes. After some reflection time, if you think you’ve made a mistake, own up to it and privately apologize to the student. This often goes a long way with kids who are oppositional. A genuine apology can help mend relationships and help the student see that the world can sometimes be a fair place.

Forgive and move on. Remember that every day is a fresh start. Once an incident is over, do your best to forgive the student and move on. Kids (even big kids) are still kids who are learning and growing.
Don’t give up. No matter what, never give up on your learners. Even the kids who are oppositional and challenging need all of your support, encouragement, and love. Tell them you won’t give up with your words and show them with your unconditional support.

20+ Strategies for Teaching Empathy

August 13, 2019 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Use these strategies and ideas to teach and build empathy with kids and young adults! Learners who have a lack of empathy can struggle with other social skills. Help elementary, middle, and high school kids build these skills by using literature, teaching lessons, practicing with games, and more. Also includes a free printable lesson for kids and teens. Helpful for kids with ADHD, autism, and other needs. #socialskills #empathy #pathway2success

Teaching empathy is important. In the simplest of terms, empathy is the ability to notice, understand, and share the emotions of others. It is a critical social skill for all people to have. In many ways, empathy is the social skill that paves the way for all other social skills. It helps us to take someone else’s perspective, understand each others’ emotions, connect with one another, show compassion, make good social choices, and ultimately develop lasting relationships.

What does a lack of empathy look like? Learners who lack empathy can end up with many social challenges. These kids and young adults may struggle to build friendships, have difficulty working with others, and make poor social decisions overall. Most importantly, kids and young adults who lack empathy are often unaware their behaviors can negatively impact others. These learners might do or say something that makes sense to them in the moment, without giving consideration to those around them.

Learners who lack strong empathy skills might:

Do or say something that appears rude or inappropriate, such as loudly commenting on someone else’s pimple.
Engage in socially unexpected behaviors, such as cutting to the front of the line when they want to be first.
Make comments that hurt others’ feelings, such as telling someone their shirt is ugly.
Fail to recognize times to be sensitive to others, such as mentioning how much they love their dog right after a friend’s dog passes away.

How can educators build empathy? It is critical for educators to recognize that having a lack of empathy is a skill deficit and not a behavior problem. In the words of Ross Greene, “Kids do well if they can.” There are many ways to teach, highlight, and practice skills for empathy, so these abilities can be learned over time. If you want to get started right away, I have created a whole unit targeting perspective-taking and empathy. It’s important to note that some learners are going to struggle with these skills more than others. What’s important is that you work on them slowly and watch the skills grow. Quite often, these strategies can be integrated into the classroom to help support a positive learning community for all. It’s a win-win!

Here are some strategies for building empathy:

Use literature. Using short stories and novels, you can help learners to think about the emotions and motives of characters. You might ask: How do you think they feel right now? Why do they feel that way? What might they be thinking? How would you feel if you were in their shoes? What might they do next? Best of all, using literature is an easy way to integrate social-emotional learning since it’s something that teachers teach every day!

Teach “being in someone else’s shoes.” Use situations to encourage students to think about how they might feel. Then, go the extra step and have students think about how someone else might feel. This is a critical component of empathy because how we feel might not be how someone else might feel. It’s a skill that can sometimes require lots of practice and discussion with others.

Watch videos and movie clips. Similar to literature, videos and movie clips can be a strategy to think about the emotions of characters. This may be a helpful tactic for learners who struggle with reading or just a fun activity for the end of the week. Just play a quick video clip (or watch a whole movie) and discuss the characters’ feelings, thoughts, motivations, and reactions.

Talk about emotions. Talking about feelings should be normal and expected in the classroom! Model using I-statements and teach about different emotions as they come up.

Use optical illusions to teach perspective-taking. Optical illusions are a fantastic way to teach perspective-taking because they show students that we all think differently and that’s okay! Simply show an optical illusion and have students independently write down what they see. Then, have them discuss. Soon, students will realize that they don’t all see the same thing. It’s a great way to start the discussion on perspective-taking and empathy. You can use this free perspective-taking lesson to try right away!

Keep an emotion vocabulary board. Improve each student’s emotional vocabulary by keeping a board posted with all different emotion words. Students should recognize that there are multiple shades to every emotion, from irritated to irate and content to elated. Make these words part of the norm so that students can learn to use them effectively.

Identify emotions in photos. Get random old magazines or use your own photos. Have students look through magazines or photos to find images of people. Encourage them to identify how each person might be feeling or thinking. This is such a fun activity that can be done again and again.

Teach social cues. Learners who struggle with skills for empathy can greatly benefit from learning about facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. These can be critical cues for them to start recognizing the thoughts and feelings of others. This can be fun to teach as “social detective work.”

Role-play social scenarios. Discuss a variety of social situations and have students act out what they might do. For example, “Imagine you see someone fall down in the hall. What would you do?” This social situation encourages students to think about how someone else might feel as well as how they should respond. Come up with your own scenarios to discuss or use task cards. I have created social scenarios for elementary students and social scenarios for middle and high schoolers. Start off with this free social problem-solving task cards set to see how your students do!

Play empathy games. For learners who struggle with empathy, it is a difficult skill to learn. Games can be a highly motivating way to learn these skills. I developed a fun empathy game with many different scenarios to help learners think about how others feel and how they might show empathy to others. Best of all, there are so many scenarios that kids can play again and again.

Watch animal live cams. Who doesn’t love animals? I’ve found that kids who really struggle to show empathy with other kids are still very likely to empathize and care about animals. With that, there are many free animal live cams you can stream. In my classroom, we loved watching an owl cam, a bald eagle nest, and even a giraffe who was about to have a baby. Of course, there are many ways to integrate science, reading, and writing to any of these animal live cams. This can be a great way to help kids learn to care about and for something else.

Have a daily morning meeting. It’s important to give every student a daily check-in time. Every child and young adult needs to know they are valued, loved, and supported. Use a 10-minute morning meeting time to check-in with students and let every voice be heard.

Teach coping strategies. Kids and young adults need effective strategies for managing their tough emotions. Spend time teaching, discussing, and practicing a variety of strategies that might work for them. Practice mindful coloring, listening to music, exercising, and even yoga. It’s important to practice these activities when students are calm so that they can use them when they really need them the most. Use these coping strategies visuals or grab this free coping strategies list to give you some ideas on how to start! Also, read up on some fun and unique ways to teach coping strategies to kids and young adults.

Start an emotion journal. Help students connect with their own emotions by journaling and writing about how they are feeling. This is something that can be done first thing in the morning to help students start the day off in a positive way. Give time for students to share their feelings if they are comfortable. Not only will students benefit from expressing themselves, but others will build empathy by hearing the thoughts and feelings of those around them.

Teach how to see the other side. Learners need to understand that we all have different opinions and thoughts. Use topics such as “favorite pizza” and “best sport” to drive conversations about differences of opinions. Help all students see that we all think differently and that’s perfectly okay.

Give responsibilities. Use student strengths and abilities to give every student a responsibility in the classroom. If a student does well with technology, have him or her be the computer troubleshooter. If a student loves nature, have them water the plants on a regular schedule. Responsibilities are a great way to have each student caring and thinking beyond themselves.

Teach how our words matter. Have each student draw a heart on paper and cut it out. Talk about different things we can say to each other that can be kind or hurtful. For each statement, have students make a fold in their heart. At the end of the activity, open the heart back up and discuss that the marks are still there long after the words have been said. Remind students that our words leave a lasting impact so it’s important to stop and think about what we say to each other.

Build confidence. Sometimes kids and young adults who lack empathy appear to be over-confident because they don’t seem to care how others feel in the moment. However, this can actually be superficial. These learners may actually struggle with feelings of rejection from their peers, leading to lower self-confidence. Make sure to spend time on building every child up and helping them share their strengths, passions, and dreams. When kids feel better, they usually do better, too. Use these confidence-building activities to get started.

Collaborate with school specialists. If you have a student who is struggling with showing empathy, talk with the school counselor or social worker for additional input and ideas. It might even be beneficial to have them come into your class for a quick lesson or activity.

Practice mindfulness. Kids and young adults can greatly benefit from learning to be in touch with their own emotions first and foremost. Spend 5 or 10 minutes practicing mindfulness after lunch, before a big test, or just to start the morning out in a more positive way. Read up on ways you can practice mindfulness and some free resources to help you practice mindfulness with students.

Encourage random acts of kindness. Kindness is about being thoughtful without expecting anything in return. Teaching and encouraging kind acts can help learners start to think about the feelings of others. You can start a random acts of kindness jar or bulletin board in the classroom. When a student witnesses a kind act, have them write it on a slip and post it. At the end of the month, you can choose to pick one randomly to win a special reward.

Engage in community service. Empathy and compassion go hand-in-hand. Encourage learners to think about the community and world by doing community service acts. Spend time cleaning up the courtyard, visit another class to read books to younger students, or even come up with a plan to donate supplies to a local animal rescue organization.

Start a kindness share. Give each student a piece of paper (have them cut it into a heart if you want!). Have students write their names on the paper and pass it to their right. When they get a piece of paper, they should write something kind about that person right on the paper. Continue the share until all students have written something kind about someone else. At the end, every child will have given back AND gotten kind words in return.

Teach students to respectfully disagree. Part of building empathy means recognizing that others can think differently from you. Help students learn the skills to accept and respect the opinions of others when they disagree. Encourage students to use phrases like, “I see your point,” and “I have a different point of view, but I see where you are coming from.”

Teach social-emotional learning explicitly. Give social and emotional learning the time it needs by dedicating time each day or week to these skills. One of my favorite strategies for this is using a daily ssocial-emotional learning journal to teach and discuss the skills every day of the year. I have also developed a complete social emotional learning curriculum for elementary learners to help students learn the skills they need in an explicit way. I also have a complete social-emotional learning curriculum for older kids.

Do you have other strategies for building empathy? I’d love to hear them! Share your thoughts in the comments!

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