Conflict Resolution Strategies for the Middle and High School Classroom

Conflict resolution is extremely important for the middle and high school classroom. When a diverse group of students come together in the classroom, there is bound to be disagreements, problems, and misunderstandings. Students in a science group might disagree about the correct technique to use on a project. A student in the classroom might feel left out of their social group when their friends don’t want to work with them. A learner might feel disrespected when someone else keeps interrupting them.

With that said, conflict resolution isn’t about stopping those disagreements altogether. Instead, the goal is to teach strategies to help kids and teens effectively manage those very conflicts on their own in healthy ways.

After all, we want students to be able to talk through a disagreement with a group member, communicate effectively with friends, and work through problems with others around them.

Why focus on conflict resolution strategies?

Conflict resolution strategies are tools for success in the middle and high school classroom. Best of all, implementing conflict resolution strategies doesn’t “just” help kids work through problems with others. These supports pave the way for a number of benefits for kids and teens. Here are a few reasons to focus on conflict resolution strategies with your learners:

• Improves classroom climate. When students have the skills to manage conflict effectively, it can lead to a more positive learning environment for all. This can help your students feel more comfortable with taking risks, sharing ideas, participating in conversations, and working with others.
• Strengthens problem-solving skills. Strong conflict resolution skills lead to strong problem-solving skills. That’s because when students are working through peer-to-peer challenges, they’re also analyzing problems, brainstorming possible solutions, and considering consequences.
• Improves self-advocacy skills. When students improve their conflict resolution skills, they also improve their ability to communicate and self-advocate. This can help teens learn to express their needs, set healthy boundaries, ask for help, and stand up for themselves – all important skills for young adults to build.
• Reduces behavioral disruptions. Stronger conflict resolution skills helps improve classroom behavior. Disagreements among students will still exist, but learners are better able to resolve those problems in healthy ways.
• Strengthens collaboration skills. Magic happens when kids and teens can work effectively with each other. Building strong conflict resolution skills ultimately helps learners communicate, cooperate, and collaborate.
• Improves learning and academics. Fewer conflicts mean more time focused on what really matters in the classroom – learning new content and strengthening skills.
• Teaches valuable life skills. Your students don’t just need conflict resolution skills to do well in your classroom. They will also depend on these techniques to help them manage challenges with others outside of the school building. Simply put, conflict resolution skills are a valuable life skill too.

Conflict resolution strategies for middle and high school students:

Focus on relationships

The most important starting point for building conflict resolution skills is focusing on relationships in the classroom. Learning how to navigate through problems with others is truly a challenging skill, one that we all continually need to work on. With that, it is critical that young adults feel more connected to those around them. This makes sense; when you feel connected to the people around you, it surely make it easier to work through problems with others. Ultimately, spending extra time on building relationships helps set the stage for success.

While there are many different techniques for building relationships with your learners, one of the simplest strategies is having group conversations. Use relationship-building questions to open the door to meaningful discussions.

Explicitly teach conflict resolution strategies

Teaching conflict resolution skills from the start means being proactive instead of reactive. In other words, it is giving kids and teens the tools they need to solve problems ahead of time. It’s important for students to know that some conflict is a good thing! Working through conflicts helps us communicate, understand our needs, work with others, and get our needs met.

Another point to convey to teens is that different strategies work for different situations. If two students disagree on how to solve a problem, they might talk it out and listen to each other share ideas. On the other hand, if a student is feeling pressured to give their project answers to another classmate, that student can advocate for themselves by saying, “no” in an assertive way. It’s about finding what works for you in each unique situation, and that requires practice.

Discuss different conflict resolution strategies and how students might use them in your classroom. Grab the visual below in these Conflict Resolution Scenarios Activities designed specifically for teens and young adults.

Practice active listening

Active listening is the process is truly hearing and thinking about what someone else is saying. It is listening to understand. This is a critical component when it comes to conflict resolution, and something that kids and teens need opportunities to practice. Luckily, you can integrate active listening strategies right into your curriculum and content.

Here are a few strategies to practice active listening in the classroom:

• Repeat It Back – Pair students up to discuss a question. Have one student share their answer. Then, have the other student repeat back the answer, paraphrasing the important points along the way.
• Classmate Interview – Provide a list of questions focused on your content area or topic. Have students work with a partner to interview and get responses from that learner. Encourage the interviewer to ask extra clarifying questions. Then, the interviewer can switch to be the one being interviewed. This gives both students opportunities to practice active listening.
• Think Pair Share – Assign a question for students to reflect upon. First, have students independently write down their thinking. Then, students should partner up with someone, taking turns to discuss their ideas. After partner discussion time, each student can share their partner’s ideas to the class.

Practice calming strategies

In order to effectively manage conflict, we need to be calm. There’s a science-based reason for that – when we feel overwhelmed or upset, a part of our brain called the amygdala takes over. This is our “flight, flight, freeze” response center of our brains, making us impulsive and reactive. On the other hand, when we’re calm and relaxed, the part of our brain responsible for planning and decision-making can be in charge. This is what we want, as it helps us think clearly and make good choices.

It’s also worth noting that kids and teens have developing brains. They need extra help and support activating their calm in times of stress, like when dealing with conflicts. We can help students build their inner calm practicing calming strategies like deep breathing, using positive self-talk, talking with a friend, and writing in a journal.

Integrate calming strategies for kids and young adults by using them as brain breaks between tasks and activities. Before taking a test, have students pause to practice some deep breathing techniques. When students finish an independent assignment, give them time to color a coloring page quietly on their own. We all need lots of practice with calming strategies so we can use them when we need them the most.

Discuss conflict scenarios

Conflict scenarios provide kids and teens with with real-life practice for conflict resolution in a safe and supportive environment. The idea is to read a situation, discuss the problem, and brainstorm healthy strategies for working through that conflict. Often, there can be several possible solutions, making conflict scenarios a great way to encourage conversations in the classroom about what to do and why.

A few conflict scenario questions to try include:

• “You begged your history teacher to be able to be partners with your best friend in class. Now, you realize that your friend isn’t doing any of the work on the assignment. What do you do?”
• “A teacher hands you back your essay with a low grade. You worked pretty hard on it, and you don’t agree with the grade they have given you. You think it was graded unfairly. What do you do?”
• “Your friend keeps asking you to go see a movie with them, but you don’t feel like it. You would rather hang out at home by yourself instead. What do you do?”

Come up with your own situations or save yourself time with this complete set of 100+ conflict scenarios for kids and teens.

Hold class meetings

Class meetings are an excellent way to strengthen conflict resolution skills. They provide a semi-structured way to discuss problems, brainstorm strategies, and choose solutions.

• Gather as a group. It helps to sit in a circle so everyone is facing each other.
• Start with a simple check in. How is everyone doing? What’s something on your mind today?
• Give time for individual students to share. Allow kids and teens to discuss any challenges, problems, or needs they’re facing.
• Choose a problem or need to address. Facilitate discussions to help work through those challenges by asking questions: What are some ways you could work through that? What strategies might help?
• Make an action plan. Together, list out specific steps you will take to work through those problems now and in the future.
• End on a positive note. Bring the group back with a positive self-talk phrase or moment of gratitude.

Encourage self-advocacy

Self-advocacy and conflict resolution skills are interconnected skills. As teens navigate through conflicts with others, it’s important that they have solid ways to advocate for their own needs along the way. This might look like asking for help from an adult when they don’t understand a challenging problem or saying “no” when they are uncomfortable doing something.

Some simple ways to teach and encourage self-advocacy skills in the classroom:

• Teach self-advocacy skills directly. Teach learners how to advocate for themselves in different ways, whether it is speaking up to share your ideas or expressing your needs during a conflict.
• Normalize asking for help. Teens need to know that asking for help from a classmate or educator is a sign of strength. Encourage asking for help when it’s needed.
• Allow everyone to share ideas. Invest time in making your classroom a safe space where everyone can and does share their unique ideas.
• Encourage independent problem-solving. Allow teens to work through problems on their own when possible.

Integrate group work activities

Group work challenges and activities provide one of the best ways for students to practice their conflict resolution skills on the spot. Purposefully integrate group work into your week, reminding students of their conflict resolution strategies before getting in place.

Practice disagreeing respectfully

Disagreements are part of life. We might disagree about the best music or how to solve a problem. It’s important to help kids and teens learn how to navigate disagreements with others in respectful ways. You might use phrases like:

• That’s interesting. Can you tell me more?
• I disagree, but I see your point.
• I see things a little differently.
• Let’s both share our perspectives.

A fun way to practice disagreeing respectfully is asking questions about high-interest topics. Not only are these engaging relationship-building questions, but they provide a great opportunity to practice disagreeing respectfully. Here are a few to try with your students: What is the best food? What is the most important invention of all time? What is the best genre of music? Who would be the most interesting person to meet?

Use visual reminders

Add visual reminders for conflict resolution skills with posters or classroom bulletin boards. Visuals are helpful because they are constant reminders about the strategies we want our learners to be using. Use this conflict resolution board to encourage students to seek peaceful solutions along the way.

Give daily reflection time

Daily reflection time helps students consider what worked well, what didn’t work so well, and what they could improve for the day ahead. This process encourages students to be self-reflective while taking ownership for their actions. Add reflection time to the last 5-10 minutes of your day using these reflection questions.

Conflict resolution: Final thoughts

Remember that conflict resolution isn’t about stopping disagreements altogether. With strategies, supports, and practice, we can teach young adults how to manage those conflicts in the best ways possible.