Social Emotional Learning

What To Do When a Student Refuses to Work

October 15, 2018 by pathway2success 27 Comments

Throughout my years teaching middle school, I have had the experience of seeing many “work refusals”. These are the situations when kids, for a variety of reasons, just refuse to start the work you give them. They might shut down and rest their head on their desk or lash out in anger, shouting about how they just will not complete your assignment. This can be extremely frustrating for educators, especially when teaching a well-designed lesson that you thought would go so well! Let me say that sometimes our lessons themselves can have little or no impact on whether or not a student refuses to work. There are quite often bigger challenges at play that we’ll delve into. Quite honestly, even with a special education background, my college and training did not really prepare me for what to do when students refuse to work. These are skills and strategies I had to develop on the ground running while working with young adults. It’s an area I’m especially passionate about because all kids deserve to learn and feel good about themselves. It’s always important to remember that kids who are refusing are reaching out for help in some way, and you CAN be the one to help them.

Let me say that we ALL have bad days here and there! If a student puts their head down during a lesson and won’t finish an assignment because of a headache, it doesn’t mean you need to sound the alarm. This article specifically focuses on the students who repeatedly refuse to complete work and need specific targeted strategies to help them overcome these challenges.

What does work refusal look like? Really, it can be different for every student. Some students put their heads down and don’t pick them up, despite encouragement and prompting. Other students will look you straight in the eyes and say, “I’m NOT doing it!” while they are clearly expecting a response from you! Other kids might just ignore your directions completely and continue doing what they want to do, whether that is coloring, reading, or any other activity they are engaged in. All of these behaviors are work refusals because they are avoiding doing the tasks that the adult is expecting.

What are the reasons for work refusal? If a student is outwardly refusing to do work in the classroom, there is always a reason. Quite often, we don’t know the individual reasons. Some students have had a history of trauma. Again, we may or may not know about the potential trauma. Other students might be dealing with social or emotional challenges at home or in their personal life. Some examples might include a family divorce, a new baby at home, the death of a family member, and feelings of loneliness with a parent working increased hours. Those truly are just a few small examples. Sometimes, when the challenges in a child’s life become so difficult for them, they can have a need to control parts of their life that they can control (like doing work in school or not). Some learners might be diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, while others aren’t. Regardless of the actual reason, it’s important to take a step back and recognize that the child or young adult is struggling with SOMETHING, whether or not we can see it. Thinking in this way encourages educators to be solution-focused, which is what really matters anyway.

Here are some simple do’s and don’ts for kids who refuse to do work:

DON’T:

Don’t just punish. If a child or young adult is struggling with some social or emotional challenges at the moment, a punishment is only going to push them away further. Your punishment will appear as harsh, mean, and uncaring. I know that educators do not intend for punishments to feel that way, but for many students, they do, including those with trauma in their past. This isn’t to say you should “let the student get away” with any behavior. Instead, you can use logical consequences, which I explain below.
Don’t send the student out of the room. I can’t stress this enough! As an educator, I know this is sometimes a preferred option because it deals with the situation swiftly. It does not fix the problem, though. In fact, it will most likely make it worse in the long-term. The student might feel anger and resentment towards you. The message you are sending is that you can’t deal with the situation and you need to send the student out to another teacher or the principal. If a student is just sitting at their desk and refusing to work, it should not be a reason to send them out of class. Kids and young adults are getting much more education being in your room and hearing the discussions than being in the principal’s office.
Don’t get in a power struggle. No one ever wins in a power struggle! So much energy is wasted is wasted and even if the student eventually complies, it will be filled with resentment. Read up on more ways to avoid power struggles.

Don’t just assume the child is lazy. So many times, it is often actually easier for the child to comply and do their work and refuse. So, it’s clear that there is something else in play. Reframe your thinking to remember that the child is struggling and needs your support.
Don’t act out of frustration or anger. When you start to feel frustrated due to a child’s behavior, remember this phrase: “He’s not giving me a hard time, he’s having a hard time.” There is no shame in taking a deep breath and walking away from a situation. As adults, it’s important we are calm and collected so we can make the best choices in each situation. It’s okay to feel frustrated with a situation, just don’t act on that frustration.
Don’t use threats. You might be tempted to say things like, “If you don’t do your work, I’m going to call your parents,” or “Finish this or you can’t go to gym.” Sometimes, these threats can only make a student dig their heels in deeper and you might regret what you’ve said later on. Instead, be mindful about what you say and make sure your consequences fit the crime.
Don’t embarrass the student. Again, publicly calling the student out might result in a power struggle or escalating the situation. Instead, consider ways to privately support the student to help both of you get what you need.

Do:

Keep teaching. Just because a student doesn’t lift their pencil up, doesn’t mean they’re not listening and learning. Continue teaching, talking, and even involving that student if they want to participate. Remember that the ultimate goal is to educate the student, not force them to work. If they are in the classroom, keep teaching them!

Give wait time. When a student refuses work at first, sometimes all they need is a little wait time. It’s okay to let them have their head down or keep their arms crossed. Use planned ignoring and wait to see if they come around within 5 minutes or so.
Ignore the small behaviors. If the student crumples up the paper, breaks their pencil, or scribbles all over it, avoid the impulse to tell the student they shouldn’t do that or give any further instructions. When things like this happen, the student is either agitated or attention-seeking. One intervention that will help in this instance is just giving space.
Be reflective. Consider what you could be doing that might be triggering the student to refuse to work. For example, are you using a harsh tone? Did you embarrass the student by calling them out for something right before? Sometimes, there isn’t anything apparent, but it’s always worth considering first!
Focus on the relationship. For many kids, relationship is everything. Put the work aside for a bit. Spend time with your student during lunch, talk with them after class, and really just get to know them. Teach them about you as a person, too! Once a relationship is built, many times your students will have a much easier time working for you because they know you care. This isn’t a quick process, but it’s always important and worth it. Read up on more ways to build relationships with kids and young adults.

Consider learning challenges. Sometimes students refuse work due to social and emotional challenges, but other times it might be because they think the work is just too hard for them. Consider if the student needs interventions with reading, writing, or math. Sometimes learners might even need direction instruction with executive functioning skills to help them get started and work through challenges. If you are a regular educator, consider discussing the student with the special education teacher or interventionist to get some ideas and strategies.
Meet with the student privately. It’s important that this is seen as supportive and not punitive. Talk to the student, ask them what’s going on, and problem-solve about how you could help. You might say, “I noticed your morning work isn’t being finished, what is going on with that?” When meeting with a student who is struggling to complete work, the most important thing is to just listen! Try to avoid interjecting your own thoughts about what’s happening or giving your point of view. Let the student talk and sometimes you might be amazed at what you learn. Perhaps the student shares that they hate where they sit because someone keeps talking to them, or that they haven’t been getting any sleep at night due to a crying baby. Be open-minded, listen, and be prepared to problem-solve with the student to help them.

Use logical consequences (and consider them ahead of time). Logical consequences are outcomes from behavior that make sense. For example, if a student is refusing to finish their morning work, a logical consequence would be using some break time later in the day to finish at least 5 problems or sending it home as homework to be done later.
Discuss those consequences with the student. Consequences shouldn’t be a surprise to your student. Let them know ahead of time in a positive way. For example, you might say to the whole class, “Everyone needs to finish their work so we can finish watching the rest of the movie.”
Use de-escalation strategies to help calm the situation. In the moment, it can quickly become a power struggle when a student outwardly tells you they are not doing the work. It is critical to know how to de-escalate a situation. My favorite strategy has always been saying, “Let’s talk about this later.” It gives you the perfect way out of a heated situation with a student while letting other students around know you’re not ignoring the behavior, you’re just dealing with it later. Read up on more de-escalation strategies and use this free printable de-escalation strategy worksheet.

Give choices. For students who struggle with work completion, consider giving limited choices for assignments. Limiting the number to two is usually best so that it’s not overwhelming, but it still gives control and choice. You might say, “Would you rather write about this prompt in your journal or draw a scene from the text and write a sentence about it?”
Consider reducing work. Another one of my favorite ways to give choice is to allow the student to choose which 10 problems they will finish. Similarly, you might ask the student to complete only 1 of the 3 essay questions. Sometimes educators have argued that this is making it too easy on the student. Of course, the ultimate goal is to get the student back to completing all the work, without a doubt. However, when a student is outright refusing to do work, completing just one item over none is a success. We all have to start somewhere.
Provide accommodations. Giving accommodations doesn’t necessarily make an assignment easier, it just gives more options for how the student approaches the task. Allow a student struggling with reading to listen to audio books. If a student isn’t writing, allow them access to a laptop. Give out a calculator to a student who gets fatigued with math problems (provided the math skill isn’t calculations themselves). Give a word bank, provide multiple choices, let the student use manipulatives, and so on.
Think about trends. Is the work refusal only happening during math? Or maybe during partner work? Maybe it’s only in the morning or in the afternoon? Think about these trends and really delving into the data can help inform your judgements about what’s really going on.
Consider interventions for task initiation. Our skills for task initiation are like the motor that starts us up. When kids and young adults lack these skills to get started, it can be extremely frustrating for everyone involved. Sometimes, kids don’t actually know HOW to start a challenging task or assignment. It’s important to consider if these skills are lacking when a child or young adult isn’t completing work, because they can be taught. Read up more on this blog post focused on interventions for task initiation skills.
Create an incentive plan, if needed. Sometimes educators are opposed to incentives plans, and I agree they shouldn’t always be a first strategy. However, there is a time when they can a struggling student work towards their goals. You might develop a contract that outlines what the student is responsible for and what incentives the student will get by completing work. A contract sets the tone that you will stick to your word so you expect that the student makes an effort to do the same. Find out what the student would like to work for, remembering that each individual student is motivated by different things (I’ve had some students who want silent drawing time and others who want to help the custodian, for example). My favorite way to find this out is by using a reward inventory. You can visit here to see more about my reward inventories, behavior plans, and contracts.

Collaborate with families. It’s important to note that the first time you call the family shouldn’t be to mention that the student isn’t working. I’m a huge believer in always calling to share something positive first. With that said, it is important to share concerns about students who are struggling to work in class. Be mindful of how you communicate this with families, too. Rather than saying the child is “refusing to work,” share that they are “struggling with getting started even on assignments that are at their level.” Collaborate to discuss if anything is going on outside of home with the child and if there are any other strategies you as the educator can try. Often, parents are more than willing to talk with their child and sometimes (definitely not always) this even fixes the issue from the start.
Focus on your own self-care. This is definitely not stressed enough in the world of education. Working with students who are refusing to work can be emotionally draining. Take time to focus on yourself when you can. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Ways to Help Kids Boost Confidence

October 2, 2018 by pathway2success Leave a Comment

Helping kid and young adults build their own confidence can have significant and long-lasting effects. Confidence kids are better equipped to handle stress, more likely to take risks, feel more prideful in their work, and have increased determination to reach their goals. By helping kids build their self-esteem, we are giving kids the skills they need to achieve their own individual potentials.

Before reading, if you want a printable reminder of these 12 ways to help kids improve confidence, get the FREE confidence poster here. It is the perfect way to stay on top of giving kids and young adults what they need to be successful. As a bonus, it comes with a few other free social emotional learning posters you can hang on to as well!

Here are some simple ways to help kids build up their confidence levels:

Encourage a growth mindset. Kids and young adults need to see obstacles as challenges they can conquer with hard work and determination. They need to see failures as lessons that help them learn better for next time around. They need to believe that they can grow over time. This type of thinking, known as a growth mindset, is foundational to helping kids truly believe they can do anything they want if they work for it.

Encourage independence and risk-taking. Our classrooms really need to be a safe haven for all learners. Kids and young adults should feel comfortable in taking a risk and going outside of their comfort zone. Let kids complete tasks on their own, even if they don’t do them exactly how you envisioned. Sometimes this feels counter-intuitive but this will help give kids the confidence to see they are capable of things on their own.

Remind kids of their strengths. Take time to help kids actually identify their own unique strengths and abilities. Some kids really struggle with this activity. That’s when you know kids really need it! In those cases, I have asked kids to think about what a good friend would say about them. Have each student make a list of their strengths and keep it somewhere to help boost their confidence from time to time.

Give chances for every kid to shine. Take the extra time to recognize individual strengths with kids and put them to good use! If you have a student who is skilled with technology, use them to be your helper in setting up videos or computers. Ask a highly artistic student to help draw visuals for your bulletin board. If you know a learner who absolutely loves books, give them the role of being the class librarian and selecting new books for your collection. The list goes on and on! There are always ways to give all kids a chance to shine and feel good about themselves.

Give specific positive feedback. When a child or young adult is doing something well, let them know! It’s important to be extremely specific so he or she knows exactly what they are doing well. Dig deeper than “Nice job” and “You rock!”. Rather than saying, “Good job on your homework,” say, “I saw that you managed your time really well with your homework. Your started right away and worked completely on your own. Doesn’t that feel good to finish and do it well?” Yes, it’s a bit more work for the adult, but will help your learners see what they did well on specifically.

Teach positive self-talk. Our inner voice is so important when it comes to what we think about ourselves. If we think more positive thoughts, we can become those thoughts. Positive self-talk is increasingly more important today in our all-too-often negative digital world. Teach kids positive phrases and statements they can say to themselves to boost themselves up from time to time. Start with this free list of positive affirmations for kids to choose from.

Teach and discuss resilience. It’s so important to stress that we all experience challenges along the way. Teach and discuss resilience by talking about your own life experiences. Share what challenges you had to overcome to get to meet your goals. Use literature to highlight characters who show resilience by getting back up again when things don’t go their way. You can also highlight successful individuals who had to be resilient in order to meet success. Kids need to hear multiple times and in various ways that when you really want something, you should never give up.

Help kids set and meet individual goals. Spend time developing SMART goals with your learners on areas they really want to make improvements with. Some students might want to improve a grade in a class, while someone else might want to start attending an after school club to make more friends. Whatever the goal, it’s important for kids and young adults to see that if they set a goal and work hard, amazing things can happen.

Help kids celebrate their accomplishments. When kids meet a goal, it should be celebrated! Sometimes these goals are big like making the soccer team after working hard to try out, and other times they are smaller like bringing in homework every day for the week. If a student meets a specific goals they’ve been working on, let me know you notice and you care. It’s important for them to see that hard work pays off and that it’s worth it in the end!

Have kids reflect on growth. Kids and young adults need to see their progress over time. This could be charting grades, reviewing writing samples over several months, or noticing an improvement with behavior over a period of time. By looking at growth over time, kids and young adults can begin to be reflective and consider why they made the growth in the first place. This can help them to see that they are often in control of their own success. A few years ago, I implemented a weekly check-in with my learners. We would sit down and review their progress for the week and over time in general. The best part was that we could review whatever that individual student was working on.

Celebrate diversity and uniqueness. Every child and young adult should feel free to be themselves. In order to achieve this, we need to encourage acceptance and inclusion of others. Use this free tolerance and acceptance pledge to begin discussions with your learners about accepting and understanding those who are different than themselves.

Encourage kids to follow their passions. Spend time to help kids find what they’re interested in, whether it is dirt bikes, animals, painting, building, writing novels, music, or anything in between. Use that topic in your instruction, discuss it with them during morning meeting, or let them complete an independent project showing off their knowledge on the topic.

If you want resources ready to go, I have developed a self-esteem and confidence building activity set! The worksheets focus on building self-esteem while helping kids recognize their own individual talents. They include everything from writing activities and discussion starters to journals and hands-on materials. How do you help your learners build confidence? Let me know!

Practicing Executive Functioning Skills with Play Activities

September 16, 2018 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Executive functioning skills are important for learners at all ages. Sometimes people hear the term and assume it’s only for older kids, but I’m here to dispel that myth! Even our youngest of learners should learn and practice stills for paying attention, using self-control, getting organized, using flexible thinking, and more. Simply put, improved executive functioning skills helps our students become better learners across the board. When kids can focus for longer in class, they can absorb more of the lesson. When they improve their ability to use self-control, they can make better choices with friends. When kids can get organized more efficiently, they can make better use of their time. Those are really just a few examples.

Why Use Play Activities? While I am a huge fun of structured lessons to teach these skills, I’m also always looking for new, fun, and more interactive ways to help learners, too. Not too long ago, I wrote another post about games to teach executive functioning skills. Of course, not everyone has access or time to play Blurt or Pictionary at a moment’s notice. For that reason, I created a set of Executive Functioning Games & Play Activities. Just print the cards, put them on a ring, and play any time you have a few extra minutes. I’ve even included a script to read to your learners, in an effort to make it entirely no-prep! Best of all, kids will LOVE playing these games and activities while they learn the critical skills they need.

When Can Play Activities Be Used? Really, anytime that works for you is a great time to practice these skills! Use them as a brain break between academic work or transitions to help kids move and interact with one another. Play them during break time. You can even start your morning or finish your day with a fun play activity. Since they are fun, kids will see them more as a game and less as “work”.

Here are some executive functioning skills you can teach and practice with play activities:

Freeze. This is a fun brain break activity you can do anytime to practice self-control. Play music and let students move around, dance, and wiggle their bodies. After a minute or two, yell out, “Freeze!” At this time, all students should freeze in place, even with the music still playing! This can be a challenge at first. The goal is to work on self-control enough so we can keep our bodies still when we need to. After a few seconds, yell out, “Melt!” and allow students to move again. You can play this for as long as you’d like!

Musical Chairs. Kids can practice their skills for task initiation and attention while playing musical chairs. Set up just enough chairs in a row so that there is one or two fewer than the number of students you have. Play music and let students walk around the chairs. As soon as you shut off the music, students will have to work quickly to find an empty chair. Those who don’t move quickly enough will be out!

Guard Duty. This is one of my favorite play activities because kids love acting like guards, not realizing they are actually improving their hallway behavior and learning skills for self-control. Let students know they will be acting as guards outside a palace. They have to show they are serious by standing tall and marching in line. You can also let students know that guards never react if someone tries to make them laugh or get their attention when they are on duty. You can practice by having one leader march around the room, with the rest of the students following. This is also a great game you can play while transitioning from class to class.

Simon Says. Most students already know this game, so that makes the directions pretty simple! It’s important to highlight that students will be using their attention skills to really listen what the leader says so they can do the right thing. Give different students chances to be the leader. This is a perfect brain break that can last 2 minutes or 20 minutes, depending on how long you have and what you want your students to do.

Role Play. In this game, kids will practice their skills for flexibility by acting out a scenario with a partner. You really can use any scenario you want: working at a bakery, going to a baseball game, being a teacher and a student, and so on. You can choose the role plays or let students pick. The only rules are that students must stay in character and continue to role play for the time. That means students are practicing being flexible and making up a scenario as they go along. Kids love this one because they really get a chance to use their imagination and have fun!

Keep the Story Going. This is such a fun game to practicing flexibility and attention! Start off a story any way you want with just one sentence. You might say, “It was a cold dark night,” or “The rocket was ready to blast off.” Really, it can be anything. Keep the story going by passing it off to another player. Each time, one person must add just one sentence to the story to keep it going. Kids practice attention by focusing on listening to the story as it goes, and they practice flexibility skills by going with the flow and making sure the story makes sense. Kids love making silly and fun stories with this game!

If you love these activities, check out my Executive Functioning Games & Play Activities to help you target these skills in such a fun way! They include over 30 unique and interactive games and play activities that your students will want to play again and again.

5 Daily Struggles for Kids with Executive Functioning Challenges

September 4, 2018 by pathway2success 3 Comments

A number of kids struggle with executive functioning skills on a daily basis. Sometimes these struggles are obvious, like having a messy binder or forgetting to turn homework in, but other times they are more hidden. This is a critical topic because all educators have these kids in our classrooms every single day. Here are five daily struggles for kids with executive functioning challenges and what you can do to help:

STAYING ORGANIZED. To me, this is one of the biggest challenges I’ve seen after teaching middle school especially. In school, kids are expected to juggle and organize so many different papers, binders, journals, and books. So often, students don’t know the right place to put materials or organize in the first place. Other times, even when students do understand how to organize, there is often just not enough time. The bell rings and it’s time to transition to the next class, so what does the student do? Shove all their papers into the closest folder and heads out right away. Finally, for many kids, disorganization has been the only way they’ve ever known! Some of these kids don’t realize how much easier and orderly life would be if they just learned a few extra skills and tricks.

What you can do:

Explicitly teach organization. Always spend time teaching organization. No matter the age, your learners are going to need to learn your system of organization. That takes time and practice! I developed an Organization Boot Camp specifically for kids and young adults who struggle and need a more in-depth set of activities to teach these skills.
Set up a homework binder. Helping kids set up a specific spot for homework only can make a huge difference for organization. This should be the dedicated spot where all current homework goes. It helps kids differentiate what work needs to be done tonight and what work needs to be filed away in another spot. You can use this free homework binder template to start your students off.
Give time to organize. I would say this is one of the easiest things you can do that is often forgotten about! When you ask students to change from one binder to another, give your struggling organizers sufficient time to do it. Moving on too fast only reinforces kids who shove papers away in a messy manner. These kids are going to take more time putting materials away in the right spot, and they deserve that time to do it.
Use visuals. Take a picture of a model desk to show how it should be organized. Tape the photo on the wall or on a certain student’s desk to help remind them.

TRANSITIONS. Many kids with EF challenges struggle when it’s time to stop something and move on to something else. This task switching really takes a lot of brain power! You have to have self-control to stop what you are already engaged in, use organizational skills to put things away in their correct places, initiate the switch, and be mentally flexible to move on to something new. This can be especially difficult when adults are expecting a learner to transition to a new task or class within just a few minutes. While many students have have routines and strategies to help them during transition times, there is a large portion of kids who just never put those puzzle pieces together. This can often leave them even more disorganized, confused, and behind schedule.

What you can do:

Create routines. Practice your transitions several times with students so they become second nature. Kids who are inflexible and struggle with changing from one activity to another will do considerably better when the transition is practiced and more comfortable.
Give countdowns. Let students know how much time they have left to work on their research papers or during break time. This at least gives a concrete warning. For kids who struggle with time management, setting a backwards timer can be helpful, too.
Use a chime. Using a calming sound like a chime when it’s time for transitions can help prime kids and young adults for the change. It will gain their attention and help serve as a memorable indicator that it’s time to change what we’re doing.
Use visuals. Make a list of steps for transitions that are particularly difficult and keep them posted. This will serve as a visual reminder when it is time to move from one activity to another or switch classes.
Use social scripts. Previewing the steps of a transition can be extremely helpful for kids. A social script is a short narrative a child or young adult can read to themselves prior to the transition to remind them of the expectations and plan. You can create your own or use these social scripts to help kids who need this extra support.

HOMEWORK. The whole idea of homework is that it should be extended practice kids and young adults can do independently. When a learner has a difficulty with executive functioning skills, that is often not the case at first. So often, kids with EF challenges don’t ever stop to write the homework down in class in the first place, or stop to make sure they have all their materials before they head home. This is the first thing that sets them back. Further, starting homework independently takes a good amount of task initiation skills mixed with self-control. For kids with already-weak inhibition skills, playing videogames, chatting with friends, or playing outside seems a lot more enticing than opening up a math book. Finally, when learners do finally start the homework, it can be challenging and, let’s be honest, boring. Sticking with it, or perseverance, is a skill that many students don’t always have on their own. If they come to a task that’s perceived as challenging, it’s often easier to abort the mission than to seek out solutions and work though.

What you can do:

Be consistent. Keep homework written in the exact same spot in your classroom every day. Teach students that this is the one homework spot and keep it consistent throughout the year. This makes a huge difference for kids who struggle with EF skills, since it can become a lot of mental energy and work to figure out where the homework is before even starting the process of writing it down.
Give prompts. Take time to prompt students to write homework down, especially the ones you know struggle to do it. Instead of just telling them to write it down, encourage them to think on their own by saying, “What should you be doing down right now?” or “Look around and notice what others are writing down.”
Make an end of the day checklist. Help kids come up with a list detailing what they need when they walk out the door. This can help students review their homework planners, make sure they know what assignments to work on, and bring home the necessary materials. Use this free end of the day checklist to get started.
Talk to families. Help set up more positive supports at home for kids who struggle with getting their work done. Talk to families about a dedicated workspace for homework and strategies for when the child gets stuck on assignments.

FOCUSING IN CLASS. Attention is a fascinating skill. It’s not something we just keep on permanently. Instead, it’s a skill we learn to focus and re-adjust constantly when we find ourselves starting to zone out. Kids with weak executive functioning often don’t know this secret, though. In a class, these are the students who are frequently looking out the window, playing with something in their desk, or just daydreaming to themselves. It’s not that they mean to not pay attention. It’s often that they don’t know how and when to refocus themselves in the right way. This becomes especially challenging in long classes with lots of lecture and talking. Of course, a child or young adult can also become extremely frustrated when they can’t focus, as it causes them to feel confused and not know what is going on. Sometimes, this can unfortunately snowball into a child who gives up easily and doesn’t try. Again, it’s not that they want to be unfocused, but they are severely lacking the skills to get there.

What you can do:

Incorporate movement. Learning doesn’t have to be stationary! Kids learn better when they are moving. Have students working while standing up at the board during math time, or moving from center to center when completing writing prompt questions. If you have a specific student who needs even more movement, give them specific jobs to deliver messages to another teacher or the office just to get their legs moving throughout the day.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a great strategy to help kids improve their focus while also learning skills for managing emotions and feeling calm. You can use mindfulness activities just before a test, after a transition, or any other time to calm kids feel more focused and in control. Note that mindfulness is a long-term practice and not a quick fix, but can really help kids over time!
Give time for brain breaks. Brain breaks are another great option to get kids moving. They are quick activities that help break up the learning and let the brain recharge for a short period of time. You can do anything from having kids do 10 jumping jacks to practicing a few yoga postures. These activities can be done anytime between transitions to help keep kids alert. I love these executive functioning games and play activities, mainly because they provide a fun brain break while still working on the skills kids need!
Teach attention skills. Explicitly teach what it means to focus in class, what behaviors students can engage in to help them stay focused, and how to refocus when attention wanes.

SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. Sometimes when we think of executive functioning, we only think of academics. That’s actually not always the case! Kids and young adults who struggle with EF skills also can experience big challenges when it comes to social skills and dealing with others. Lots of social situations require us to understand social rules, use self-control, plan our responses, have flexibility when things don’t go our way, and use coping skills to manage our emotions when we are upset. For kids who lack these skills, social interactions can be especially difficult.

What you can do:

Openly express social expectations. If you are having group work, make sure you go over what it means to be a good partners ahead of time. I love using visuals for this because they are something you can keep up to remind students, as needed. Just a simple list for what you do when you are playing games with others or a visual to show group work expectations can go a long way.
Explicitly teach social skills. All kids can benefit from social skill instruction, though some need it more explicitly than others. You can use social skills lessons for younger students or social skills lessons for older kids to teach the skills they need. These lessons and activities can be taught in morning meeting, during a lunch group, or advisory periods.
Use social scripts. Some students really benefit from previewing social expectations right before a situation occurs. You can have social scripts for before recess, lunch, group work, and other social times to help remind students what will happen and what they can do. You can develop your own or use these pre-made social scripts to help support students’ needs.
Give opportunities for positive social interactions. Kids need practice in applying social skills! You can always integrate your content into games and group activities to give students this time with their peers. I also love these games and play activities for executive functioning skills as a way to specifically target the EF skills these kids need.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING RESOURCES & IDEAS. If you are seeking more information about executive functioning skills and how you can support your learners, consider the following blog posts and resources:

Blog Posts:

Resources to Teach EF Skills:

Unique Ways to Teach Coping Strategies

August 2, 2018 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Coping strategies are important skills for kids and young adults to learn. These are the activities and strategies we use to help us calm down when we’re emotionally overwhelmed. We can probably all think of a few kids and young adults who need extra practice managing their emotions effectively! That’s where coping strategies come into play. It just makes sense: kids need to learn HOW they can help themselves calm down and feel better before they can actually do it.

It’s extremely important to note that kids can’t learn new strategies when they are already upset. When we are emotionally overwhelmed, we don’t think straight. That’s why it’s critical to teach and practice coping strategies when kids are calm. You can incorporate these skills as a lesson, small group activities, during a morning meeting, or just woven into your daily instruction.

If you work with learners who need extra help with self-regulation, this list might give you a few extra ideas for teaching and practicing coping skills so that kids can use them effectively when they really need them:

Use task boxes. In short, task boxes are just boxes or crates with tasks for kids to do. All the materials and directions are placed inside the box so it’s easy for kids to just open it up and practice. These coping strategies task boxes focus on learning coping strategies in a fun and interactive way. Each specific task is different. In some, kids will match coping strategies while others have students choose a coping strategy for a specific situation. My favorite tasks even have students actually practicing skills like deep breathing, positive self-talk, and more.

Play a board game. Games are always a fun way for kids to practice skills. In this coping strategies board game, kids will roll a dice and move through a game board as they answer questions about coping strategies. Some of the cards have students practicing strategies, while others allow kids to decide which strategies would be best in different situations. Best of all, you can use this as a “break” activity or end of the week reward since it is a game! Kids will have fun learning coping strategies without considering it work at all.

Use read-alouds. There are many great books that you can use to target and discuss coping strategies. One of my recent favorites is Super George and the Invisible Shield by Laurie Mendoza. This book highlights how one boy uses strategies to help him manage his emotions and stay calm.

Make a wheel. Sometimes hands-on activities can go a long way in teaching skills like coping strategies. A coping strategies wheel is a tool that kids create to practice, discuss, and remember coping strategies. My favorite part of this activity is that kids make their own individualized wheels that strategies that work for them. Note that even after kids make theirs, they can use them again and again to remind them about their strategies.

Complete the 30-day challenge. If you’re looking for a fun and free way to try out a bunch of new coping strategies, this coping strategies challenge is it! Students use their own calendar and try out a new coping strategy every day for 30 days. They can choose their own or you can direct them as to which strategies to try. It’s a great low-prep way to introduce many strategies. Some educators have even told me they have sent this activity home with kids over the summer!

Use an escape room. An escape room activity is a set of puzzles that kids complete to “escape” the room and win the challenge in a certain amount of time. In this coping strategies escape room, kids learn about deep breathing, coloring, yoga, listening to music, and more. The best thing about escape rooms is that kids have to work together throughout the activity. They are a little bit of work to set up, but always extremely engaging for the kids!

Use flip cards. Put together a set of coping strategies cards and put them on a ring for students to flip through and practice. Again, this is an activity that can be used over and over again when students really need to use their strategies.

If you are finding yourself needing resources and ideas for teaching coping strategies, I have put together a huge bundle of Mindfulness and Coping Strategies to target the skills needs need. It includes crafts, interactive activities, lessons, and more, all focused on helping kids and young adults manage their emotions. Mindfulness and coping strategies work especially well together to calm emotions, increase self-control, and create a peaceful community of learners. Give coping strategies a try for your learners!

101 Positive Affirmations for Kids

July 18, 2018 by pathway2success 4 Comments

Positive thinking is a powerful tool that can improve your health, help you manage stress, overcome challenges, and make better choices. Everyone can benefit from improving their positive thinking skills! The idea is that by changing your thinking, you can control your emotions and your actions. Positive thinking skills often start with positive-self talk, which means using the voice in your head to say positive thoughts about yourself or a situation. Kids and young adults, in particular, always could use more positive thinking in their lives. By beginning to think more positively, kids can learn to believe in themselves and work towards their individual potentials.

Kids and young adults can use a positive affirmation list by reading the words to themselves or out loud, discussing how they might help, and identifying which phrases would work best. Get your own free printable with 101 positive affirmations for kids and use it to have them choose their top 10 favorite positive affirmations from the list to say in times of need.

Here is the list of 101 positive affirmations that kids and young adults can say to themselves.

There is no one better to be than myself.
I am enough.
I get better every single day.
I am an amazing person.
All of my problems have solutions.
Today I am a leader.
I forgive myself for my mistakes.
My challenges help me grow.
I am perfect just the way I am.
My mistakes help me learn and grow.
Today is going to be a great day.
I have courage and confidence.
I can control my own happiness.
I have people who love and respect me.
I stand up for what I believe in.
I believe in my goals and dreams.
It’s okay not to know everything.
Today I choose to think positive.
I can get through anything.
I can do anything I put my mind to.
I give myself permission to make choices.
I can do better next time.
I have everything I need right now.
I am capable of so much.
Everything will be okay.
I believe in myself.
I am proud of myself.
I deserve to be happy.
I am free to make my own choices.
I deserve to be loved.
I can make a difference.
Today I choose to be confident.
I am in charge of my life.
I have the power to make my dreams true.
I believe in myself and my abilities.
Good things are going to come to me.
I matter.
My confidence grows when I step outside of my comfort zone.
My positive thoughts create positive feelings.
Today I will walk through my fears.
I am open and ready to learn.
Every day is a fresh start.
If I fall, I will get back up again.
I am whole.
I only compare myself to myself.
I can do anything.
It is enough to do my best.
I can be anything I want to be.
I accept who I am.
Today is going to be an awesome day.
It’s okay to make mistakes.
I am making the right choices.
I surround myself with positive people.
I am a product of my decisions.
I am strong and determined.
Today is going to be my day.
I have inner beauty.
I have inner strength.
No matter how hard it is, I can do it.
I can live in the moment.
I start with a positive mindset.
Anything is possible.
I radiate positive energy.
Wonderful things are going to happen to me.
I can take deep breaths.
With every breath, I feel stronger.
I am an original.
I deserve all good things.
My success is just around the corner.
I give myself permission to make mistakes.
I am thankful for today.
I strive to do my best every day.
I’m going to push through.
I’ve got this.
I can take it one step at a time.
I’m working at my own pace.
I’m going to take a chance.
Today I am going to shine.
I am going to get through this.
I’m choosing to have an amazing day.
I am in control of my emotions.
My possibilities are endless.
I am calm and relaxed.
I am working on myself.
I’m prepared to succeed.
I am beautiful inside and out.
Everything is fine.
My voice matters.
I accept myself for who I am.
I am building my future.
I choose to think positively.
My happiness is up to me.
I’m starting a new chapter today.
I trust in my decisions.
I can change the world.
I am smart.
I choose my own attitude.
I am important.
I am becoming the best version of myself.
Today I will spread positivity.
The more I let it go, the better I will feel.

10 Ways to Build Relationships with Kids

June 17, 2018 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Relationship building is the single most important way you can impact a child’s life. So often, kids actually can’t learn from someone they can’t connect with. I’m also convinced that building a strong relationship with a kid or young adult diminishes a huge number of behavior challenges. Many times I worked with students who were “behavior problems” in the classes of several teachers. Those teachers would think I was crazy when I would say, “They worked great for me!” and I’d even invite them to come to see those students work in the resource room with me. Building that connection is the best proactive strategy to support learning and classroom management. It’s a no brainer.

It’s critical to work on building those relationships early, because it gets harder if a student acts out in a class first. At that point, so often the teacher and student are already not getting along. Resentment builds and fixing that relationship becomes more and more challenging. It can be done, but it starts with us as the adults. So, whether you are just starting the school year or in the middle of one, use these strategies to work on building and strengthening your bonds with each of your students.

1. Talk to them about non-school related subjects. Ask about the local fair in town, how the pizza at the new restaurant in town is, and even debate what the best phone is at the moment.

2. Let them teach you about their interests. Letting kids teach their teacher can be very empowering for them. A few years ago, I worked with an 8th grade boy who knew everything about dirt-biking. He taught me about dirt-bike races, customizing bikes, and where the local places to practice were. I will be the first to tell you that you will never see me on a dirt-bike, but that did not stop me from learning! I even picked out my would-be biking gear if I ever did race. In my past years as an educator, I’ve learned about everything from My Little Pony and makeup to robotics and basketball. Find out what each student is an expert in, and let them teach you.

3. Remember things about their lives. During a lesson, activity, discussion, or just interaction in the hall, bring up something that you remember about that student. During passing time, ask them how their team did during the game over the weekend. During afternoon homeroom, strike up a conversation about a students’ family or trip they are taking soon. These small gestures remind kids that you really know and care about them.

4. Share about your own life. This is one of the strongest ways to build connections early on. Share about your family, pets, vacations, and activities you do outside of school. My middle schoolers loved hearing about my dog, Nova. In fact, we had an ongoing joke that if you wanted to distract me from class, just bring up Nova. This really helps kids to see you as a real person. It’s important to keep boundaries, of course, but a balance can and should be done.

5. Engage in activities with them. If you are after school and see kids practicing basketball, run in and take a few shots. It’s fine if you’re not a basketball star. Kids won’t care about that. Instead, they will love that you joined in. Maybe they can even give you tips about playing. Check-in with students during art club or cheer on a student at the track and field meet. I know the educators are busy. Note that you don’t have to stay the whole time or dedicate yourself to leading one of these activities. Just stopping in and showing you care will help strengthen those relationships over time.

6. Tell hilarious (and even embarrassing) stories. Sharing funny stories helps you show vulnerability in front of your students. It shows you are a real person. The time my dog barked ferociously at a snowman on a walk. When I spent a lot of money on concert tickets only to stand directly behind a 6’5” man (note that I’m 4’11”). The time I slid completely into a mud pile from my arms all the way to my toes. These real-life stories are great to bring up when you need to get kids’ attention or shift the energy in the energy in the room. And trust me, kids will remember these!

7. Share inspirational stories from your life. I loved sharing with my learners that I was the first in my family to go to college and paid for it myself. I let them know that it was actually my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Therrien, who told me that I could be the first in my family to get there, and she was right. I also loved sharing with my students about planning my trip to California, somewhere I’ve always dreamed of going. These stories help kids see you as a real person, but also remind kids that they, too, can achieve their goals and dreams.

8. Do crazy things. Don’t be afraid to do something different or wild in the classroom to get kids attention! Stand on a desk or chair while giving important directions, sing a song about a lesson, or . I’m pretty sure I embarrassed my middle schoolers with my songs, such “Write your name,” (to the tune of Destiny’s Child’s ‘Say My Name’) and “Who Let the Students Out,” (to the tune of ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’). Most importantly though, these experiences stood out for the kids. It’s fine if you’re not super comfortable going all out. Start with just one thing outside your comfort zone!

9. Use their interests in your lessons and activities. Sometimes this takes a little bit of planning but can go a long way! If you’re studying percentages in math, talk about the percentages of shots someone on a basketball team makes. If you’re learning about energy in science, discuss the energy used in a race car. There are so many options for this throughout the year.

10. Apologize when you mess up. Making mistakes does not make you a bad teacher. It happens to everyone – even the best and most seasoned educators. We do need to own up to our mistakes when we make them, though. Really apologize when you make a mistake. For whatever reason, sometimes adults don’t like to do this, but it truly goes a long way in building trust.

If you need more ideas, check out my store for lots of resources and freebies you can use with your learners right away. You might also want to read up on other blog posts I’ve written, including:

If you love the 10 Ways to Build Relationships poster below, you can now get it as a free poster in my Free Social Emotional Learning Posters.

100+ Free Social Emotional Learning Resources

June 1, 2018 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Social and emotional learning, often known as SEL, is the process that helps kids learn critical skills, attitudes, and mindsets for social and emotional success. These skills cover five major areas: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationships, and responsible decision-making. It’s actually difficult to describe in just one sentence because SEL covers everything from building confidence and managing emotions to making friends and understanding ethical decision-making skills. These are truly the foundational skills that help kids to be successful in and out of school.

It’s important to note that SEL isn’t just one activity. It’s a philosophy that educators, administrators, and entire schools must adopt in order to help all kids build mental and emotional strength. Simply put, incorporating social emotional learning into classrooms helps kids thrive. Many educators might at first feel there is not enough time to add one more thing into the school day. Again, that’s why it’s important to think of SEL as something we integrate into what we’re already doing rather than something that gets “added on”. I created this list to help educators and schools have a starting point for integrating free SEL strategies and resources into their already-busy days. If you aren’t sure where to start, just choose one or two things. Help your learners build their confidence, learn strategies to cope with tough emotions, discuss what true friendship is, identify strategies for solving real-life problems, and so on.

Here are free social emotional learning resources:

PRINTABLE RESOURCES:

Self-Awareness:

Social Emotional Learning Journal – Prompts focusing on understanding individual strengths and challenges.

Positive Affirmations List – A list of 101 positive affirmations to build positive confidence and positive self-talk.

Gratitude Activities – Quick activities that help kids recognize what they are thankful for.

The Power of Yet Posters – Encourage students to use a growth mindset with these positive posters.

Growth Mindset Task Cards – Use these task cards to help students learn they can accomplish their goals with hard work and grit.

Self-Management:

Coping Strategies Challenge – Have students learn 30 coping strategies in 30 days to teach about managing emotions.

Coping Strategies Notebook – A tool that helps kids to practice and use their coping strategies when they need them.

Anger Management Worksheets – An anger log to help kids track their triggers for anger.

Calming Posters – Simple calming posters for a calm down area that remind kids to relax and breathe.

Motivation Workbook – Workbook to help students learn strategies for motivation and completing tasks.

Homework Binder – Resource that helps students organize their binders and have a dedicated spot for homework.

Coping Strategies List – List of 100 different coping strategies kids can use to manage emotions.

Executive Functioning Workbook – Set of workbook pages that target skills like time management and organization.

Mindfulness Coloring – Free coloring worksheets to help encourage mindfulness.

Executive Functioning Poster – Visual reference to help kids and young adults remember critical executive functioning skills, including organization and planning.

Social Awareness:

Conversation Skills Lessons – Lessons for teaching and practicing conversation skills.

Perspective-Taking Lessons – Lessons focusing on teaching how to perspective-take and develop empathy.

Tolerance and Acceptance Pledge – Have students take a pledge to help them learn to accept others who are different from them.

Relationships:

Getting to Know You Questions – Free list of over 30 questions to help kids get to know each other and build positive relationships.

Conversation Starters – Over 20 printable cards to start meaningful discussions.

Working with Others – Teach students explicitly how to effectively work with others in partners and groups.

Decision-Making:

Social Problem-Solving Task Cards – Task cards that highlight real social problems for kids to discuss and identify ways to solve.

Character Posters – Posters that remind students about integrity, kindness, and working hard.

Student of the Month Awards – Awards that help build your classroom community by helping kids feel recognized.

How Big is My Problem Task Cards – Activity cards and situations that help students identify problems and challenges.

BLOG POSTS:

APPS & WEBSITES FOR KIDS:

Everyday Speech Social Skills Games (social awareness, relationships, decision-making) – Interactive online games for social skills, including conversation skills, school behavior, problem solving, and more.
Breathe, Think, Do (self-management, decision-making) – Use with younger learners to help practice deep breathing and problem-solving skills.
Go Noodle (self-management) – Hundreds of videos to help kids take a brain break and practice mindfulness.
Headspace: Guided Meditation & Mindfulness (self-awareness, self-management) – This app provides meditation exercises with a coach that helps you learn as you go.
The Mindfulness App (self-awareness, self-management) – A mindfulness app that helps you become more present in your daily life with guided and silent meditation sessions.
Learn Social Skills (social awareness, relationships) – Use video lessons and readings to help kids learn skills.
Aware (self-awareness, self-management) – This app leads you through daily mindfulness meditation techniques, including energizing activities and breathing practice.
Stop Breathe & Think: Meditate (self-awareness, self-management) – Tailored to your specific emotions, this app helps you take a break and reduce stress through meditation.
Listening Skills (social awareness, relationships) – Strategies for becoming an active listener.
MyCalmBeat (self-awareness, self-management) – This app provides training and practice in slow, deep breathing for stress reduction.
Breathe (self-management) – An app that assists in controlling your breathing.
Gratitude Journal (self-awareness, self-management) – This app helps you focus on the positive by identifying what you are thankful for each day.
Kids Coping Skill Puzzle (self-management) – Build a puzzle while sorting between positive and negative coping skills.
Affirmation Reminder (self-awareness) – Select from a list of positive affirmations or make your own to add as reminders.
ColorMe (self-awareness, self-management) – Free coloring app to help reduce stress.

WEBSITES FOR EDUCATORS:

CASEL – Everything from basic information to detailed research surrounding SEL.
Edutopia – Several articles and ideas for integrating SEL into the classroom.
Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning – Tons of free resources to get you started.
Education Week Webinar – Detailed information about how teachers can build social-emotional learning skills.
Social and Emotional Learning Standards – Detailed information and links about which states have adopted SEL standards.
NoVo Foundation – Information and strategies for SEL.

VIDEOS:

CLASSROOM STRATEGIES:

Hold a morning meeting. Use this time to check-in with students, review expectations, and start the day.
Do a check-in and check-out with specific students in need to monitor their social-emotional needs.
Build strong relationships from the start.
Model and discuss social skills, highlighting them throughout the day.
Use literature to highlight social and emotional skills.
Incorporate consequences that give back to the community instead of punishments.

READ ALOUDS:

Note that these books aren’t free, but it is always free to borrow from your local library, so I wanted to share them!

Self-Awareness:

How Do I Feel? by Norma Simon (ages 2 to 7)
Today I Feel Silly & Other Moods That Make My Day by Jamie Lee (ages 3 to 8)
Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman (ages 4 to 8)
Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell (ages 5 to 8)

Self-Management:

When I Feel Frustrated by Marcia Leonard (ages 2 to 6)
Super George and the Invisible Shield by Laurie P. Mendoza (ages 7 to 11)
Know and Follow Rule by Cheri Meiners (ages 3 to 6)
There Might Be Lobsters by Carolyn Crimi (ages 3 to 7)

Social Awareness:

When I Care About Others by Cornelia Maude Spelman (ages 5 to 7)
Can You Tell How Someone Feels by Nita Everly (ages 3 to 6)
Hugo and the Bully Frogs by Francesca Simon (ages 3 to 7)

Relationships:

Can You Be a Friend? by Nita Everly (ages 3 to 6)
We Are Best Friends by Aliki (ages 4 to 7)
You’re All My Favorites by Sam McBratney (ages 5 to 7)

Decision-Making:

I Did It, I’m Sorry by Caralyn Buehner (ages 5 to 8)
The Decisive Dolphin by Efrat Haddi (ages 3 to 8)
Someday by Eileen Spinelli (ages 4 to 8)

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Follow these boards, hashtags, and people for information on SEL:

Facebook:

Pathway 2 Success – FB is one of the first places I share new ideas!
Mental Fills – Social worker sharing ideas for small groups and more.
The Counseling Teacher – Educator with background in counseling and teaching with tips for all.
School Psyched, Your School Psychologist – Great social and emotional ideas for all educators.
Informed Decisions – Social worker with a specific background with urban youth.
Social Emotional Learning – Public FB group focused on sharing SEL ideas.

Pinterest:

Pathway 2 Success – Many of my boards target SEL skills.
Books for Social Emotional Learning – A board focused on reading materials for SEL.
Social Emotional Learning – Entire board focused on emotions, social skills, and more.
Social Skills Group – A collaborative board with resources for social group ideas.
Social Emotional Resources for Elementary – Another collaborative board focused on elementary kids.

Instagram:

Pathway 2 Success – I love sharing ideas, resources, and freebies on IG!
#socialemotionallearning – Follow this hashtag for SEL ideas and more.

Twitter:

Pathway 2 Success – Twitter is a great professional network to share ideas.
Brain Mendler – Amazing educator and presenter who brings on thoughtful conversations.
#socialemotionallearning – Follow this hashtag for SEL ideas and strategies.
#sel – Another hashtag to follow.

If you love this list, make sure to share!

Teaching Social Emotional Skills With a Journal

May 14, 2018 by pathway2success 2 Comments

Social and emotional skills are foundational for kids to be successful in and out of the classroom. They involve everything: having a firm grasp of our values, recognizing our strengths and challenges, understanding social situations, developing strong relationships with others, managing our emotions, making responsible decisions, and so much more. Sometimes, as educator we might feel we don’t have time for teaching and practicing these skills in the classroom. Without a doubt, the expectations of educators are higher than ever and sometimes something has to give. With all of that said, social and emotional skills should not be lost. In fact, I would argue that we need to spend MORE of our time in schools highlighting and incorporating these skills throughout the day. When kids are socially and emotionally healthier, they do better academically, too.

One way to incorporate and discuss these skills while still working on other academic skills is through writing and journaling. With this, I’ve designed a Social Emotional Learning Journal with daily prompts throughout the year. That means I’ve already included 175 unique prompts organized by social-emotional skill. Everything is done for you for the whole year. It’s the perfect no-prep way to highlight SEL throughout the school year on a daily basis.

Here are some simple tips you can follow to help you teach social and emotional skills through writing:

1. Choose a Time Frame. You might choose to make Social Emotional Learning Journaling part of your morning meeting, advisory periods, or just a “do now” when kids walk in the classroom. Whatever you choose, stick with it! Remember that these skills are just as important as academic skills and they deserve time in your classroom.

2. Introduce Social-Emotional Skills. Let kids know what social and emotional skills are and why they are important. Explain that these are the skills that help us to be socially and emotionally healthy in our lives. The five main areas of SEL include: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationships, and decision-making.

3. Have Students Design a Journal. For students to really “own” their journal, I always feel it’s helpful to have them design or color a front page. This helps them take ownership of their journal and sets theirs apart from others. You can choose to have students use a binder to hold their journal pages together or use a composition notebook. I really love to bind all the pages together so students have the real feel of a journal, but anything will do!

4. Highlight One Skill Per Week. Giving each week its own skill will give kids time to understand that skill, while giving you time to reinforce it when you see it in the classroom. Start with self-awareness by covering strengths, challenges, building confidence, and understanding feelings. For self-management, cover topics such as planning, self-control, organization, and managing emotions. Social awareness highlights skills involving social expectations, social cues, and empathy. For relationships, you might discuss friendships, how to communicate effectively, and working with others. Finally, for decision-making, spend time writing about responsibility, peer pressure, problem-solving, and ethical decisions.

5. Ask Daily Questions and Talk About It. If you ask students about strategies they might use to manage their emotions, give time for the whole class to discuss first before writing. This is an important step to provide some background knowledge before kids take time to think on their own. You can choose to skip this step, but keep in mind that some learners might not know what to write without discussing the topic with others first.

6. Give Time for Independent Writing. Students will need a few minutes to journal and write on their own. This allows them to stop and think about the question, coming up with their own individual thoughts and responses. Best of all, with a journal, you have a written record of all the skills kids are learning and writing about.

7. Incorporate Partner and Class Discussions. Spend a few minutes letting partners talk or discussing the topic as a whole class again. This gives kids the chance for shared learning from their peers.

8. Reinforce Skills Throughout the Week. The best way to generalize these skills is to encourage them throughout your daily lessons and activities. For example, if you are working on organization and see you a student tidying their binder, let them know! If you are highlighting social expectations, discuss the social expectations before a test or quiz you are about to take. Take every moment and make it count.

If you love these ideas for teaching social emotional skills with a journal, give the Social Emotional Learning Journal a try with your learners!

If you’re looking for more ideas for SEL, read up on more ways to incorporate social emotional learning in your classroom.

13 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles

April 15, 2018 by pathway2success 10 Comments

As an educator or parent, getting into a power struggle can be an awful thing. We waste so much of our energy trying to get we we want that we sometimes forget what our goal was in the first place. Power struggles can be especially difficult with kids with ADHD, autism, oppositional-defiant disorder, and other social-emotional challenges. After teaching middle school special education in a behavioral classroom for ten years, I’ve picked up a few strategies on how to avoid (and get out of) power struggles.

If you find yourself needing more support with de-escalation strategies for kids and young adults, consider this De-escalation Strategies Guide with a detailed educator guide, sample scenarios, proactive strategies, and de-escalation techniques.

Here are some strategies for avoiding power struggles that you can use right away:

1. Develop a relationship early on. This is by far the most important element to reducing power struggles with kids and young adults. Talk to kids about what they’re interested in and spend time learning about those topics. That often means talking about non-school related topics, and that’s okay. Time spend on relationship building is never time wasted. It’s a prerequisite for learning.

2. Hide your frustrations. We all get frustrated with students sometimes! When that happens, take a breath and walk away. Kids really need more positivity in their lives. By showing our frustrations, we are just making kids feel poorly about themselves instead of helping them reach their individual potentials.

3. Be kind. A kind tone and “please” really can go a long way. Sometimes this can be all the child or young adult wants. Other times, kids are so shocked that someone would ask them so politely, they just end up following through right away. Be reflective with yourself frequently about how you might be coming off to another individual.

4. Give the expectation and run. That means what it says! Literally tell the child your expectation or direction privately and then get out of there. Don’t give the child a chance to talk back to you or tell you they aren’t going to do it. Get out of there!

5. Ignore what you can ignore. If a behavior isn’t interfering with the learning of others, try to ignore it. Even if it bothers you personally (like pen clicking or tapping), let it go. Most likely, another student will end up politely correcting the child. This is really the best thing when this happens because kids listen to each other much more than they listen to adults! Additionally, sometimes our reactions are actually the reinforcement that kids are looking for. By ignoring many behaviors, we are helping to extinguish them. When you want to correct a behavior, consider if you can ignore it or not first.

6. Let the child or young adult get the last word. This seems counter-intuitive in the education world. Adults always feel the need to get the last word with kids, but so often it really does not get us anywhere except further argument! My favorite strategy is just to pretend I didn’t hear it when a student talks back or says something negative under their breath. Things like, “I’m not doing it,” and “This is a stupid project,” can just be completely ignored! It will make your life easier in the end.

7. Listen and validate. If a student is having a problem or starts to argue, listen to them without interrupting. Validate them by saying, “I see your point,” and “So what you’re saying is…?”. Spending that extra time just listening to a student and letting them have a voice can defuse power struggles before they start.

8. Explain your reasoning. Let students know, “I really need all eyes on me right now so I can explain the directions to the lab and then you can go off with your groups.” Kids need to know why they should be paying attention and following rules. So often, a simple explanation can make a big difference.

9. Give choice. It’s healthy for kids and young adults to have choices. On a math homework page, let kids choose any ten to finish. For a presentation, allow students to select whether to do an oral report, a multimedia presentation, or write a report. Even really small choices can make a big difference. For example, if you have a student who struggles working with group work, ask them to choose between two groups.

10. Be flexible. Kids and young adults need structure, of course, but adults need to show they are flexible and compassionate, too. Don’t get stuck on having one right way to do things. My favorite example is letting students use gel pens to complete their work. I have never in my life seen middle schoolers so excited to complete homework. If students are working and growing, it’s okay to be a bit flexible in how they do it.

11. Know how to back out of power struggles. Finally, if you do happen to get in a power struggle, here is a winning phrase that can stop the battle right away: “Let’s talk about that later”. It defuses the situation, lets the child or young adult know you will follow up, but puts the disagreement on hold. This is a great way for teachers to address the behavior without making a huge deal of it in the moment. It tells your other students that you are handling the behavior, just not at the moment. Get this list of over 50 free de-escalation strategies you can use right away.

12. Compromise with a goal in mind. Consider what your goal is for the child. Do you want them to finish an assignment? Work in a group? Finish their test? Stay quiet during a lesson? Be willing to make accommodations and compromise with the student in order to have them meet your expectation for them. Let’s consider an example. Let’s say a student is outright refusing to start their math homework. They tell you it’s too long and they don’t do homework. If your goal is to help that student work on some math problems, ask them how many they think they could finish before the end of class. Compromise on a number and assign only those ones. While it’s not where you want the student to be, it’s a stepping stone to get there.

13. Embrace the behaviors you can. If a student has their phone out in class when they shouldn’t, direct them to look up a question about your curriculum and then give them time to share the answer with the class. When a student makes a joke, make a joke right on back! This has to be done thoughtfully, but it’s healthy to embrace the challenges when you can.

If you are interesting in this topic, be sure to read my article on 50+ de-escalation strategies with a free printable list!

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